The Three Enemies of Your Mental Health – I

SPEAKER 03 : 0:00

Welcome everyone to Family Talk. It’s a ministry of the James Dobson Family Institute supported by listeners just like you. I’m Dr. James Dobson and I’m thrilled that you’ve joined us.

SPEAKER 02 : 0:20

Well, welcome to another edition of Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk. I’m Roger Marsh, sitting in the guest co-host seat today. And during the next half hour or so, we’re going to get into a conversation about some things that are problematic in the culture right now, and that’s especially as it pertains to mental health. Joining me for this conversation is Kenza Haddock, who is a licensed professional supervisor and accredited clinical trauma specialist. After completing her undergraduate degree at Old Dominion University, she went on to earn a Master of Arts in Professional Counseling from Liberty University. And now she and her husband, David, are the co-owners of Oceanic Counseling in South Carolina, offers mental health counseling for PTSD, grief, anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder, marriage counseling, and much, much more. Ken Zahadik is the author of several popular books, including Your Three Inherent Needs, and also a fascinating one that we’ll get into probably right off the top called The Ex-Muslim’s Guide to Christianity. Her most recent book is called The Three Enemies of Your Mental Health, Gaining Lasting Victory Over the Devil, the Flesh, and the World. And we’ll have that linked up at drjamesdobson.org forward slash family talk. Kenza Hanek, welcome to the Family Talk program. Dr. and Mrs. Dobson send their kindest and warmest regards in welcoming you to our studios today.

SPEAKER 04 : 1:37

Thank you so much for having me. I’m so excited to be here.

SPEAKER 02 : 1:40

Well, we are excited to have you here because this is becoming an ongoing problem, especially for people in the younger generations. I mean, those of us who grew up with parents who were part of what you’d call the greatest generation or the silent generation today. We kind of grew up with the, if something’s bothering you, just kind of suck it up and keep moving, right? Just kind of sniff up her lip. Then as you get into the baby boomers and Generation X, there is a little more emotion. And now it seems like anyway, and this is anecdotal. I want to get your opinion on this. It seems as though people in the millennial generation and in Generation Z are wrestling with mental health issues more than any previous generations, and that even pertains to the church. Is that an accurate assessment of kind of where the state of the mental health industry is right now?

SPEAKER 04 : 2:24

Yes, it is. Definitely. What I have seen is people tend to fall on one of two spectrums. They either look at mental health as purely clinical and there is nothing spiritual about it. So they negate anything that has to do with Christianity or anything that’s biblically based about it. Or they see it as your problems, all of them have to be solved at the altar. There’s no such thing as a chemical imbalance and you need to just pray them away. And so… If you go to either one of those extremes, it can be unhealthy.

SPEAKER 02 : 2:56

Yeah, I can imagine there are a lot of people who do find themselves in that situation. I remember years ago working in junior high ministry with a really wonderful couple. And Sandy was a school teacher who had battled clinical depression most of her adult life. My older sister, Linda, battles with clinical depression as well. And were it not for good faith-based counseling and medication to help with the clinical depression situation, Lord knows where they would be. And yet throughout history, I mean, God has used a lot of great men and women of faith who’ve had, you know, depression issues and anxiety and things of that nature. So it really is kind of a both end and it’s not necessarily a problem to be solved. Is it, Kenz? I mean, is the goal when you’re counseling someone to say, we want to help you kind of be cured from this or to learn how to live with it? How do you approach it at your clinic?

SPEAKER 04 : 3:41

Yeah, that’s a great question. So when someone comes in to see me, and I’m treating them both clinically and biblically, the first question I ask them pertains to whether or not they have opened themselves up to the kingdom of darkness by partaking in socially acceptable practices. There are so many socially acceptable practices that can… open us up to spiritual oppression. And we don’t know that. And some of these examples are someone can walk into a med spa and they’re offered a chakra session and they’re told that can just align your energy. It’ll help with your depression. And they don’t know that that’s a practice of divination. And Roger, you wouldn’t believe how many people I’ve had come see me on a Monday. And these are self-professing believers and go see a medium on a Wednesday and And they don’t understand that that’s not helping their mental health. And of course, that’s a practice of divination, which is contrary to scripture.

SPEAKER 02 : 4:38

Well, when you talk about divination, give us a few more examples, because I know this sounds very syncretistic. I think of what George Barna is, the term that he uses, where a lot of people will say, I’m a Christian, profess faith in Christ, I read the Bible, I pray, I go to church. But I’m also dabbling in some other things, too, that may seem rather innocuous to them anyway. But you mentioned the chakra. What are some other examples?

SPEAKER 04 : 5:02

Absolutely. And to your point, I have had people ask me, I’m a Christian. What’s wrong with me checking my horoscope every morning? Checking our horoscope every morning means we are putting faith in something other than God who says he is the one who is to guide us. And so what we’re not seeing is that. The devil, who is enemy number one that I mention in the book, he seeks to split our faith between Jesus and another object of our faith. Roger, even if it’s 90% in Jesus and 10% in another object of our faith, then he has his foot in the door. And there are so many other practices like Reiki. One in particular that is very controversial is yoga. And that is practiced in the church nowadays. It’s called holy yoga. And I don’t, there’s no such thing as holy yoga. That’s like saying holy witchcraft. Yoga. I mean, yoga. Yoga in essence means to unify and you’re unifying yourself with a Hindu deity, whether or not you realize it. And so as believers, when we give our lives to Jesus, the Holy Spirit comes on the inside of us and God seals us by the Holy Spirit. And so we’re not supposed to give our body to any other God. We just aren’t. And every yoga pose is supposed to be to a Hindu deity. The sun salutation, the downward dog pose, the cow pose, each one of them is to a Hindu deity.

SPEAKER 02 : 6:32

And I think about what, I mean, again, I know of these things because I’ve studied this for a number of years in terms of Christian organizations, for example, who are stepping up against public school systems that are trying to introduce yoga as a quote-unquote healthy exercise alternative for kids in public schools. And the Christian parents are saying, we don’t want to do that. But isn’t there a pose in yoga called happy baby or something like that? I mean, it seems so innocent. It seems so innocuous. Like, well, who doesn’t want to be around a happy baby? And yet you’re telling us, hey, wait a minute, just because that has kind of a fun warrior or something like that sound doesn’t mean that it isn’t

SPEAKER 04 : 7:09

Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, that’s what the devil does. He doesn’t come in with a Dracula costume. I mean, he hides himself as an angel of light, and that’s what Scripture says. So we have to educate ourselves. Scripture says, my people fail for lack of knowledge. And so it’s one thing if we don’t know, but once we know… and understand, then we have to do our own research and we have to purge evil from among us. I mean, whether it’s yoga, whether it’s crystal bracelets, I mean, crystal bracelets are everywhere nowadays. I’ve had so many patients who will wear a crystal bracelet believing that it wards off evil spirits or wards off evil energy or gives them an additional potion of protection. And so at that point then, They are not putting all of their faith in Jesus. They’re so scared of putting all their eggs in one basket, if you will. So they have 90% Jesus, 10% another object of their faith.

SPEAKER 02 : 8:06

Well, for anyone who’s ever done youth ministry, and I know a lot of our listeners have, there’s that one illustration. You talk about the 90% Jesus, 10%, whatever it is. If you’ve ever done the brownie experiment, where you tell the kids in your youth group, hey, I made some brownies for you. These are really great. Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you. That there’s just a little bit, well, my dog came by, you know, on the batter and just, you know, had an accident. So, but I’m sure it’s fine. It’s okay. Just go ahead and have a brownie. Would you willingly eat that? Well, of course, all the kids go, oh, gross. I would never do that because that’s in there, right? Yeah. But what you’re saying is a lot of Christians are saying, okay, well, I’ll cut around that part and let me find the 90% that I think is Jesus. And they really, I mean, they just don’t know. And Kenza, you have such an interesting background in this simply because you know spiritual warfare. You know what it’s like to grow up in a rather oppressive spiritual state. I mentioned at the beginning, you wrote a book called The Ex-Muslim’s Guide to Christianity. Talk about what it was like for you growing up in the Islamic tradition and how did God reach into your heart and say, there’s a better way?

SPEAKER 04 : 9:10

Absolutely. So I grew up in an Islamic household. And so for most of my life, I believed that I was here for a certain amount of time. And so for the first 23 years of my life, I believed that I could earn salvation by satisfying the five pillars of Islam. The first pillar of Islam is essentially it denies the deity of Christ. which is repeating that Allah has no son. So repeating that every night. And Allah, the word Allah means God in Arabic. And so growing up, I just, because I’m more so of an A-type personality, I went into overdrive. I knew that I was a sinner, But I also wanted to appease this God that I was worshiping. So instead of praying five times a day, I would pray seven just to make up for the sins that I was committing that day. It was more so like balancing a checkbook. I mean, I was burned out by teenage years and into early 20s, into like… Age 21, 22, I battled with so much depression and anxiety. My anxiety was through the roof. But see, anxiety was the norm for me. I didn’t know any different. Because Allah is more so like a spiritual pharaoh. You feel like you’re meeting his standard, and then he raises the bar. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah, I remember going to the mosque to pray to get some kind of comfort. And there was no comfort because the priest would just yell at us and tell us we’re not doing enough. And so I would leave worse off than when I first went in. And so there was just no comfort for me. And I just felt so anxious. And I was convinced that Allah hated me. And so I just got to a point where I lost the will to live. And I battled with suicidal ideations because there is no hope in Islam. Even if you satisfy all five pillars, there is still no hope in Islam. They don’t believe that there is assurance of salvation. And so throughout that time… God, by His sovereign will, He was sending me dreams during that period of time. One of the dreams I had was I would go to sleep and every night, for a couple of nights in a row, I would be asleep. And in my dream, I would hear the phone ringing, like, you know, those 80s phones. It was like ringing so loud. And someone would say, Kenza, your father’s calling you. And I’d wake up and it would be like in the middle of the night. And the next night, I fall asleep, and the phone would ring. Kenza, your father’s calling you. And I would wake up. But I wasn’t catching on because in Islam, you don’t see God as father. That’s blasphemy. You don’t see him as such. And so I wasn’t catching on. The Lord sent me other dreams. And finally, I had a dream that rocked my world. I fell asleep, and one night— I had a dream that it was the end times. And in my dream, I saw heaven open and I saw a man in a white robe descending from heaven. And as I looked at him, Roger turned. That man was Jesus. And I felt this peace that came over me that I had never felt before. It made no sense to me. It was as if all of the anxiety I had been carrying my whole life fled from me. It was gone. And I felt this peace. And as I was looking at him, he had his arms wide open. And as he was coming down and approaching me, I woke up. Now, I wish I could tell you I woke up and gave my life to Jesus. Right. But that wasn’t the case. I woke up and giving your life to Jesus as a Muslim is a big deal. You’re seen as a traitor. It’s not celebrated at Cracker Barrel with your family. Right. And so I looked for every other avenue other than Christianity. And looking back, I was too scared to go from one main master to another. And so it took me eight to 10 months to finally give my life to Jesus. And so during that time, I dove into new age practices. I read palm reading books. I read chakras. I had someone perform Reiki on me. I dove into the horoscope, the different calendars. I studied all of that, but none of that brought me the peace that I had felt in my dream when I saw Jesus. If anything, it sent me into a worse state of inner turmoil. I got to a point where enough was enough. I needed to make a decision. And I moved to South Carolina from Virginia for safety reasons. Because giving your life to Jesus, I knew that my family were not going to respond well to it.

SPEAKER 02 : 14:12

And your physical safety was at risk, you felt?

SPEAKER 04 : 14:14

Oh, yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER 02 : 14:15

Oh, my.

SPEAKER 04 : 14:16

Yes, because I had read the Koran before, too. And I knew what it says. It says that especially if a daughter leaves the faith, that you have to attempt to bring them back amicably. And if they don’t… come back amicably, then you have to do it by force and back up to death. And actually, the last case, an honor killing happened where the dad was sentenced was in Texas in 2021. He was sentenced. And so knowing all of that, I moved to South Carolina and I started my life from scratch. And what’s interesting is I didn’t know how to get saved. I feel like that’s something that we overlook as believers. We think, oh, everyone knows how to get saved. How can you not know?

SPEAKER 02 : 15:01

Right, right. Sure.

SPEAKER 04 : 15:03

No, I didn’t know. I thought I needed to get drafted into Christianity somehow, like take a test and pass. And- I’m so used to the works mindset. It just was unfathomable to me that God would just, by His mercy, receive me, you know. And I remember talking to a friend on the phone after I had moved. I was in a parking lot, and I called him, and I said, Hey— I just want to let you know, I had this dream about Jesus and, you know, I don’t know what the next steps are. And right there in a parking lot, my friend said, listen, the Bible says in Romans 10, 9, he opened his Bible right then and there. If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you’re saved. And he walked me through the salvation prayer right there in a parking lot. I gave my life to Jesus. And started my life. And what’s interesting and incredible at the same time is God will meet us wherever we are.

SPEAKER 02 : 16:03

Amen.

SPEAKER 04 : 16:03

He will. And I mean, He met me in the parking lot. He met the woman at the well right there.

SPEAKER 02 : 16:08

Yeah, right where she was. Yeah.

SPEAKER 04 : 16:11

And so just from then on, I started going to church. And soon after that, the Lord called me into the field of counseling. And I want to just pause right there and say my first time going to church, And it was nerve-wracking. And I think we overlook that as believers sometimes. We don’t give enough credit to church greeters, and I think they don’t give enough credit to themselves. The first time I walked into church, you know, my heart was racing. I didn’t know what they were going to say, like directly. Hey, you don’t belong here. I wasn’t sure what was going on. But the greeters were so sweet and just going in the church and just everyone was so welcoming and it was great. And so I just started diving into scripture and growing in my faith. And within a couple of months, I felt the Holy Spirit for the first time. Because, you know, when you’re not a believer, you don’t have the Holy Spirit residing in you. Right. So I just felt this prompting to go back to school for counseling. And I’m like, are you sure, God?

SPEAKER 02 : 17:20

Now, where was your husband, David, in this real life? Where were you guys? Had you been dating yet? Were you married? Where was he in relation to where you were?

SPEAKER 04 : 17:26

So he went to the same church I went to, but we had not met yet. Yes, we had not met. And so I just felt this pull toward the field of counseling. And I felt very unqualified. I grew up in such a dysfunctional household. And I was like, are you sure? So I kept just delaying it. And finally, just the feeling wouldn’t go away. The prompting wouldn’t go away. Yeah. And I went to my pastor one night, Wednesday night Bible study. I said, hey, I feel like God may be calling me to the field of counseling. I’m not sure. And he said, OK, well, let’s pray over you. And he asked a group of people to pray over me. And that’s how I met my husband, David. He was part of the group. And so I went back to school for counseling. And after I graduated, did my clinicals and everything, I started treating people both clinically and biblically speaking. And as I started treating brothers and sisters in the faith, I noticed that so many believers struggle with similar thoughts and beliefs about God that I struggled with as a Muslim. And you would not believe how many people have a perspective of God that He is distant, that He is angry, that He is mean or harsh. And those were similar thoughts that I held about Him. And because of that, they just lived in an inner state of turmoil day in and day out in their lives.

SPEAKER 02 : 18:56

Wow, that is fascinating. Kenza Haddock is with us today here on Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk, and we’re discussing her brand new book called The Three Enemies of Your Mental Health, Gaining Lasting Victory Over the Devil, the Flesh, and the World. And we have it up at drjamesdobson.org forward slash family talk. Kenza, it’s so interesting. as someone who grew up in the faith, to talk to someone like yourself who has that kind of experience that you did, and then to see the similarities that a lot of people grow up with. We have a loving Heavenly Father who loves us, who cares for us, who rescued us from sin and death. And at the same time, we also have earthly parents who either were a part of your lives, or they weren’t a part of our lives, or they left a huge impression by the fact that they were either too present or too absent. And As a therapist now, as a licensed professional counselor, you are looking at a lot of people who are coming to you looking for help saying, I’m a Christian, but why do I have these feelings of anxiety or fear or whatever? In your book, you talk about the fact that about 95% of the people that you deal with are wrestling with one of these three struggles, and that’s kind of the root of their situation. Talk about that, if you would.

SPEAKER 04 : 20:04

Yes, absolutely. So the top three clinical diagnosis plague in our nation are clinical anxiety, that’s generalized anxiety disorder, clinical depression, that’s major depressive disorder, and then mood swings. It keeps coming in at number three. And that’s when we feel like our moods are up and down, up and down throughout the day. And so… As I started treating people, I noticed there was a pattern between these top three diagnoses and the three enemies of our mental health, and that is the devil, the flesh, and the world. And I was able to link each one to another. For example, I noticed that individuals who, whether knowingly or unknowingly, partake in new age or just have these new thought processes about god or about themselves they fall into inner turmoil and they fall into this mood swing patterns and so many people feel like okay i may be a christian but i can still look at my horoscope day in and day out or it’s okay if i look at my horoscope you know once a week or once every other week what’s the harm in that And I have to sit down with them and talk to them about how that opens them up to spiritual oppression. And so there is a list that I include in the book of practices that may open us up to daily mood swings. And that’s boring. And I’m not… Listen… I like to put a disclaimer out there. I am not against medication. I am absolutely for medication. And of course, I understand we live in a fallen world, a world where we may experience a chemical imbalance. And so this is barring a chemical imbalance. I’m saying there are so many people where I’ve seen so many successful cases where they have been able to get discharged from clinical counseling because they overcame the war against these three enemies.

SPEAKER 02 : 22:01

Well, Kenza Haddock, we’ve had such a great first day of conversation here, but we have much more to get to. Can you join us again next time so we can continue this conversation?

SPEAKER 04 : 22:09

Yes, absolutely. Thank you.

SPEAKER 02 : 22:18

While Ken Zahadek’s insights show us that finding real peace requires more than just treating the symptoms, which is the approach that so many doctors often take today, we also need to actively guard ourselves against these three enemies of mental health, the devil, the flesh, and the world. You’ve been listening to Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk and a special conversation with author and counselor Kenza Haddock about the spiritual dimension of mental health challenges. Her remarkable journey from Islam to Christianity gives her a unique perspective on how our faith impacts our mental well-being. Now, if you missed any portion of today’s broadcast, or if you’d like to share Kenza’s testimony with someone who might be struggling, visit drjamesdobson.org forward slash family talk. Now, along with the program, you’ll also find a link for Kenza’s book. It’s called The Three Enemies of Your Mental Health. There’s so much more of her book that we’ll have time to talk about on the next edition of Family Talk. So I encourage you to get a copy and join us again next time. here at the dr james dobson family institute we are committed to addressing all aspects of family life including the mental and spiritual health challenges that so many christians are facing today your support enables us to continue broadcasting biblically sound guidance that brings help and hope to families nationwide every tax deductible donation we receive is greatly appreciated and carefully applied toward reaching more families through the many resources we provide. Now, you can make a secure donation online at drjamesdobson.org. You can also call us with your gift at 877-732-6825. And as a special thank you for your support this month, we would like to send you a copy of the book written by Dr. James Dobson and his wife Shirley called Nightlight for Parents. Let Nightlight for Parents brighten your family life. It’s our gift to you as our way of thanking you for your donation of any amount in support of the Ministry of Family Talk. So you can request your copy online at drjamesdobson.org. That’s drjamesdobson.org. Or you can send your request through the U.S. Postal Service. Our ministry mailing address is Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk, P.O. Box 39000, Colorado Springs, Colorado, the zip code 80949. Again, that’s P.O. Box 39000, Colorado Springs, Colorado. The zip code 80949. Well, I’m Roger Marsh, and from all of us here at the Dr. James Dobson Family Institute, thanks so much for listening today. Be sure to join us again next time as we continue our conversation with author Kenza Haddock about finding true freedom from the three enemies of your mental health. That’s coming up right here on the next edition of Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk, the voice you trust for the family you love.

SPEAKER 01 : 25:30

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SPEAKER 03 : 25:36

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