Welcome to The Good News with Angie Austin. Now, with The Good News, here’s Angie.
SPEAKER 04 :
Hey there, friend. Angie Austin with the good news. The good news is Jackie Calloway is back and joining us. I went on vacation and I missed her for a couple of weeks. Did a little fall break with the kids. We’ve talked about her book, Suicide, Don’t Do It, which was, wow, such a testimony when she was a teenager and she was pregnant and how she considered taking her life and the miracle that God performed in her life. And then also about her marriage, the divorce, and then getting back together with her husband, getting remarried and and Counseling Couples Together, and that book, Love That Would Not Let Me Go, Jackie Calloway. And then she’s working on a new book, Till Death Do Us Part. Welcome back, Jackie.
SPEAKER 02 :
Thank you, Angie. Good to be back.
SPEAKER 04 :
You know, I love it that one of your callings is to, you know, And I can see that you have that gift. So let’s talk about that. But first, let’s start with your new book. Tell us a little bit about this new book that you’re working on, Till Death Do Us Part.
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, as you know, my husband and I were married for 28 years, divorced for seven years because of adultery and several other things. But in 1996, God miraculously reconciled us, first to Himself and then to one another. And then we had 24 more years of a wonderful marriage. And I always tell people that God’s reconciliation looks a whole lot different than just plain reconciliation. He always does exceeding abundantly above all that we can ask or think according to the power that works in us.
SPEAKER 04 :
Jackie, first of all, 28 years marriage, it was not good. Then divorced, so that’s 35 years of that chunk, and then remarried almost as long as you remarried the first time, 24, and that it was glorious and such a different marriage. And as you put it, the marriage that God led was so different than the first marriage. You said it was a new man, that he really was transformed. I love your testimony. It’s so inspiring to me.
SPEAKER 02 :
And it is exciting for me, too, because it was something that I never dreamed could happen the way it did. But God did reconcile us, and he’s asked me to share in this new book, Till Death Do Us Part, that he is still in the marriage business. And we learned how to do marriage God’s way. And that was what He really wanted when He reconciled us, for us to be an example of marriage His way, the way He intended our marriage to be from the beginning. And we experienced so many miraculous situations He supplied all of our need according to His riches and glory by Christ Jesus. And He loved us individually and collectively through that 24 years of marriage. And I just want to share with women and men, but especially the ladies, to take advantage of the love that you have in your marriage and to make God certainly not just the center of the relationship, but to be able to saturate your relationship with the love of God and His instructions for your marriage. The Lord has taught me to share with younger women some of the things that I have learned in this, well, in both marriages, really, but especially in this second marriage. And, gee, I don’t even really like to call it that we were remarried because it was truly, totally new from the beginning to the ending. And as you know, my husband went home to be with the Lord in December 2020. And even that, his parting was so sweet that there were lessons learned in that also that I want to share with people and with women in particular. Sure.
SPEAKER 04 :
Well, I want to hear that for sure. I mean, I’ve heard some of the story, but share with us.
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, first of all, in the beginning of our marriage, the second marriage, the Lord, I was still very reluctant, and the Lord had told me to trust Him with all my heart and lean not to my own understanding, but in all my ways acknowledge Him. And he would direct my paths. So I went into this second marriage, even though we had forgiven one another and we had made the decision to bury all the old stuff, all of the lies and the unforgiveness. We buried that before we married. and never to bring it up again and the miraculous thing is we never did bring up any of the old memories the old hurts and that to me was the first miracle wow yeah because um i i had been really hurt in that last marriage But God saw me through the divorce. So as we walked through this new marriage, Ronnie was a totally changed and new man. And that was the second miracle for me, because at first I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. And it It never dropped. As a matter of fact, there was not a shoe. He wooed me and he loved me and he cherished me in this second marriage. And the reason was he was sold out to God.
SPEAKER 04 :
Oh, I love it.
SPEAKER 02 :
He was sold out to God. There was not a pretense. there was not any phony anything. He was sold out to God. And the Lord had told me during the divorce that he said, you asked me to speak to him face to face, just like I did Moses. And he told me, I can’t speak to him face to face because you are still in his face.
SPEAKER 04 :
Whoa, Jackie.
SPEAKER 02 :
I love that. He said, stop trying to help him. Let me speak to him face to face. And I backed up. I took my hands off. I was not anymore enabling him in any way. And so through that time, the Lord was able to speak to him face to face. And Ronnie told me he did. I asked him, I said, when we were divorced, did you ever think about me? And he said, every night that I laid my head on the pillow, he said, the Lord was speaking to me about you. And I was like, wow. So anyway, the lesson I learned in that is when God does it, he does it well. Scripture says he doeth all things well. So when we have our hand in things, it can be half done. It can be totally jacked up. But when God does it, he does it thoroughly and completely. And he does it according to his will. And that’s what I learned in that situation.
SPEAKER 04 :
Wow. So you had to give up control or what you thought was your control because you didn’t have any control over Ronnie.
SPEAKER 02 :
I had none. I had none. And in this marriage, I was able to see what a complete job the Lord had done on him. And, uh, with his heart, I was downstairs one day, um, doing something and Ronnie was upstairs and all of a sudden I heard him say, thank you, Jesus. Praise you, Father. Hallelujah. And I was like, wow. I said, Lord, you really did him well. You really fixed him because I had never heard him break out in praise like that to the Lord.
SPEAKER 04 :
So when you talk about, you know, women, you know, I know you mentioned he golfed and that his mistresses would golf with him and that you were never interested and you felt in your heart like you hadn’t shown interest in something that brought him joy, but you were irritated because you were working and sometimes he wasn’t employed. And so you saw it was kind of like a thorn in your side, this golf. And then you realized this was important to him. And that maybe you should have given him more of like the time of day when it came to, or his golf the time of day, so that he’d feel appreciated or admired or respected.
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, the Lord actually told me that I said to the Lord, what about all those women? And he said they played with him. And I said, okay. See, I was never a playmate. And I would suggest to wives that you play with your husbands. What is it that they enjoy? And whether you enjoy it or not, at least go with them. And so in the second marriage, Ronnie bought me some golf clubs.
SPEAKER 04 :
And I learned the game of golf.
SPEAKER 02 :
and i would go with him sometimes i still didn’t i still wasn’t into it like he was because if the sun was up ronnie was on the golf course so i still though learned the game of golf and i helped him with his with his stance i would tell him um You’re not holding your head down. Your weight is not even. I would go with him and just check out his stats and all that. He appreciated that so much. He loved that. So I would say to you ladies, find out what your husband’s game is.
SPEAKER 04 :
All right. Yeah, I’m thinking about that. Let’s take a break because I hate it when you and I run out of time. So we’re just going to take more time today. So hang on. We’ll be right back with the good news with Jackie Calloway.
SPEAKER 03 :
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SPEAKER 04 :
Hey, it’s The Good News with Angie Austin. Jackie Calloway and I continue our conversation. She is talking about, you know, the divorce. Well, first of all, we’ll just recap. Love That Would Not Let Me Go. That’s the book that Jackie and I have talked about a lot. She’s working on a new one now, Till Death Do Us Part. She and Ronnie were married 28 years and then they were divorced for seven and then remarried for 24 years. fantastic fabulous amazing years in that marriage the Lord was right front and center and you said that golf was something he loved in your first marriage you just saw it as a thorn maybe in your side that took him away from you and work and the girls and then you’re saying that when you were remarried the Lord made you realize that was important to him and you should play with him. And so we should figure out what is our husband’s game, what brings our husband’s joy, what should we be doing with them that they might consider to be fun. So continue with that thought and I’ll tell you something we’ve been doing lately.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yes, it’s very important that you show your spouse that you are just as interested in what he is interested in And that even if you don’t go all in with it, and especially if it’s something wholesome, I’m not saying get involved with something that is off the rails.
SPEAKER 04 :
Right. We don’t want to be out gambling or at the horse track with them or, you know, poker.
SPEAKER 02 :
Exactly.
SPEAKER 04 :
Off the rails. I love it, Jackie. I’m not going off the rails, girl. Don’t worry.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yes, don’t. But to… Almost study your husband and see what excites him and what he enjoys and get involved in that. And be that lap that he can lay his head on. You remember Delilah and Samson and Delilah. He laid his head on her lap. Be that lap that your husband can feel safe enough to lay his head on. And the other thing that I would say to you ladies, cherish your husbands. Look at them and see. Don’t always pick out the fault, what they’re doing wrong, what they’re saying wrong. But look at what they’re doing right. Look at the qualities that are in your husbands that God has placed there that you can appreciate and bring to their attention. I used to tell Ronnie in the second marriage, I appreciate that you’re such a good provider. You look and see what I need. and you supply it for me and I appreciate that. And the other thing that Ronnie would do when I would go to the grocery store, I would come back and I would bring in one bag and then he would get up and go out and get the rest of the groceries and bring them in. He never wanted me to lift too much or Carry a heavy load. And I appreciated that about him. But see what your husband does that you can appreciate and that you can thank him for and that you can praise him for.
SPEAKER 04 :
You know, yesterday he did so much. Well, he got the kids working, too. They washed my car. They cleaned out the hot tub and refilled it. And it’s heating up because I said it might be nice to use it for the winter. And then they washed my car. um he fixed the garage door which that took a lot he had to reinstall like he had to do a keypad and then put in the whole device up top you know get up on the ladder and replace the entire like none of the mechanisms the mechanism was broken so we had to do that and then they got all the leaves out of the front and backyard and bagged them to go out to the trash then my daughter the little one did like four loads of laundry and we folded those and then she went around the yard and picked up you you know, trash. And then my son, oh yeah, he had my son doing all kind, like all day. And then they had their chores at night, which was like, you know, clean the kitchen. You know, that takes like 15 minutes. But my husband even wrote them all like a thank you note saying, wow, you guys really helped out today. We got so much done. And he winterized the sprinkler system And then we have a swamp cooler, which is like old school, but it works so well. But in the winter you have to cover it because all that cold air still can get into the house and like circulate. So you have to like winterize it and cover it up. So anyway, they did all of that in one day. And so he told me, I’m shocked that his brother’s getting a divorce. We just found out that they, after about 15 years, they’re getting a divorce. And I, my, my chin fell on the floor. Like I thought they were best friends. Like my husband and I are, there’s just two boys in his family. And so we were really surprised. I said, what? Why? Like they they they don’t have money problems. They don’t have I mean, they just I mean, they’re like beautiful people and they have a beautiful home, a beautiful life. And, you know, she stays home and he has a great career and he’s going to retire with a pension at like, you know, in his early 50s. And I’m like, why? Why? he said well you know how you compliment me all the time and like you kind of build me up and make me feel good and you’re really appreciative of like the work i do and this that and the other which i it was great to hear that from him because i do make an effort to make sure he knows he’s appreciated and i believe he could do anything he just finished a brick walkway in front of her house that took like five months because he had to dig so much and lay cut each of one of the paver brick stones and it was just it’s like a piece of art and it’s long it’s you know it’s like i don’t know 30 feet long and wide like four feet wide it’s just it was so much work and um i mean some of those bricks are as big as a domino that he cut like i can’t even believe he did it and he said well she doesn’t every time he wants to do something she says you can’t do that or what what you’re not going to do how do you know how to do that you don’t know how to do that and he said that she’s very critical of him whereas i am complimentary and i thought What a horrible reason for a marriage to not work when you’ve got their daughters maybe… I don’t know. They don’t live here, by the way, so they don’t hear my show. But she’s about maybe 10. So, you know, they’re getting a divorce. And I’m like, why can’t somebody swallow their pride and work this out? This seems like the most unnecessary divorce to me ever. Just learn how to communicate better. But… You know, they’re going through with it and they’re selling their house and they’re doing all that. And I’m just so surprised because to me, it seems so unnecessary. And I just feel, you know, people throw in the towel too easily. But something as simple as complimenting your husband, which I mean, gosh, think about the effort that I put into that over the last 20 years of our marriage. Not much. I mean, it doesn’t take much effort to tell your husband you appreciate all the things he does and how hard he works for the family. and then i compliment him in front of the kids and say you know if you can do a job like dad does it then that’s an a plus job we always joke around that sometimes the kids will do c effort and i’m like you’ll never see your dad give c effort everything he does is a plus effort like when he did our tile in our bathroom he learned to do it on youtube and then he didn’t like that the shower they he had to pour it with concrete it wasn’t like just a plastic thing you threw in there and he had to get the grade exactly right and he felt at the back of the shower the little bit of water settled and he’d have to push it into the drain and so he broke it apart and redid the entire thing and i’m like No one would have even known that when we sold the house because the shower would be dry. No one would know that there’s like a one-inch puddle, you know, that goes the length of the shower. But he had to redo the entire thing. And that’s just an example of how everything he does has to be done well. And so look at that little bit of effort I put in our marriage that makes the difference between, he thinks, his brother’s marriage and his.
SPEAKER 02 :
But when it is not God’s marriage… it makes a huge difference. Because one of the things I told you that God ministered to us in the second marriage, individually and collectively. And if you both don’t have a relationship with Jesus Christ, it makes all the difference in the world. And when things would get We really never argued in the second marriage. Wow. But we didn’t always agree.
SPEAKER 03 :
Right.
SPEAKER 02 :
Because we’re two different people. So how did that work? Well, the Lord had told me before we married, if you ever can’t agree on something, come aside with me. And that’s what I would do. And that’s what Ronnie would do. I would, you know, I would be like, oh, Lord Ronnie is thinking this way, and I can’t believe he’s thinking that he’s going to do this or that, the other. And the Lord would say to me when I would get quiet, but what is your attitude? I’d be like, But wait a minute, I’m talking about Ronnie.
SPEAKER 04 :
Oh, that’s funny.
SPEAKER 02 :
And he would be like, what is your attitude, Jackie? Check yourself according to the word of God. And I would always be able, and Ronnie would too, and sometimes I’m going back to apologize for him, to him, for not trying to understand where he was coming from. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And he would be on his way to apologize to me.
SPEAKER 04 :
Oh, wow.
SPEAKER 02 :
And it was supernatural, I’m telling you. But it was because both of us were yielded to Jesus Christ and the Word of God and making the marriage work. But you need two people. You really do need to have two people.
SPEAKER 04 :
With one. With the Lord holding hands. Yeah, and with the Lord in the middle. Now, when you talk about ministering to younger women, how has that, obviously that’s good advice for women in terms of making their marriage happy, making sure that they do things their husband enjoys and play, have fun with them. We’ve been doing family movie nights. My husband’s not a movie guy, but we’ve seen a couple of good ones. We saw that one on that Duck Dynasty family and his testimony there. And how he really started off on the wrong foot in their marriage, which I think you’d really get a kick out of. I’ll get the name of it because I forgot what it was called. But it’s about how they had also separated and they were going to end their marriage. And they ended up becoming… highly successful and had that show Duck Dynasty, which was big for many years. And it’s The Blind. So we went to that. He liked it. It was a little corny, but it had a great message and his testimony of how the Lord changed his life and transformed their marriage. And boy, they’ve been married almost 60 years now or something. And and then we’ve done a few dinners and we went to the theater this weekend. We went to Mama Mia and we took the girls. And so we’ve been trying to do family things, which I know he gets a kick out of that because we do a lot of family sports together and stuff like that. So we’ve been doing that because that’s kind of he doesn’t do anything separate from the family. He doesn’t do any golf or fun or boys’ nights or anything. It’s work or family. That’s it. And so that’s what I’ve been doing with him. And since the kids are all in high school, we know we don’t have a ton of things left. And he even went to Disney with us, which isn’t really his thing, but we had a blast. We went on fall break and we did Universal Studios, like the Haunted Nights, which the kids all love. And then I went with my nephew as well, who lives out in California. And then we did Disney, which… He kind of gave in and did it with us, even though it’s highway robbery. But he had a blast. He didn’t complain the whole time about lines and how expensive it is. He had fun. So we’re trying to do more things together as a family because we know that that’s limited. And maybe eventually we’ll take a vacation without the kids. But at this point, we’re just kind of trying to squeeze out all of the fun out of what we have left for you know, the family time since one of the kids is graduating this year, one next year, and then one in three years. So we’ve just got, you know, a bit of time left. I want to make sure people can find you, Jackie. What’s the best way for people to find Jackie Calloway?
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, Healing from Crisis is my website. And you can also, the ministry phone number is 303- 307-0707. That’s the office phone number. And we also did premarital counseling.
SPEAKER 04 :
Oh, I love that. Well, let’s talk about that more next week because we’re out of time. We used up the entire show today, just you and me, and I hope you all enjoyed it. Thanks for listening to The Good News. I’m Jackie Calloway. Thanks, Jackie.
SPEAKER 01 :
Thank you. Bye-bye. Thank you for listening to The Good News with Angie Austin on AM670 KLTT.
