Dive deep into the essence of true companionship in this episode as Bible teacher David Hawking unravels the insights from Ecclesiastes chapter 4. Explore how the superficial allure of popularity often leaves us empty and how real friendship, as orchestrated by God, stands the test of time and tribulations. Learn why the Bible teaches that two are better than one and how true support networks are formed in a world cluttered with fleeting connections.
Sometimes we try to scatter our shots with too many people and their superficial friendships. It’s like the problems of popularity. Oh, I got lots of friends. Really? The truth of the matter, the older we get, the more we center in on those few friends who are deep and intimate with us, who minister to us in times of need, whom God has brought our hearts together. Oh, I think we ought to share with as many people as we possibly can. But the Bible’s teaching there is a danger in a multitude of friends that drain the heart and drain off the energy.
SPEAKER 1 :
Thank you.
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We’re told that more connection means more life, more contacts, more followers, more likes, more friends. But Ecclesiastes chapter 4 cuts through the noise and says something our culture hates to hear. A crowd is not the same thing as companionship. And popularity, it’s not the same thing as support. You can be surrounded by people and still have no one who really knows you, no one who carries the load with you, no one standing with you when it costs something. I’m talking about friendships, friendships that God himself forms. On this Monday edition of Hope for Today, Bible teacher David Hawking continues in Ecclesiastes chapter 4, verses 9 through 16, with the final day of a message called The Importance of Friendship, as God’s Holy Word exposes the difference between having many people around you and having the right ones with you. Just before today’s lesson, let me ask you something. Have you ever wondered if life is really worth the heartache and the struggle? is life worth living? and every audio message from our current radio series. The complete set, just $40, and you can get it online on our website, davidhawking.org, or call us at 800-75-BIBLE, that’s in the U.S., or 888-75-BIBLE in Canada. Bible is 24253. And remember, your order helps keep Hope for Today going, and your prayers, they are very precious to us. They mean more than you know. We’ll go ahead and turn to Ecclesiastes chapter 4, verses 9 through 16. And here’s David with day three of The Importance of Friendship.
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We have some application here concerning the importance of friendship. Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him, and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Better is a poor and wise youth than an old and foolish king who will be admonished no more. For he comes out of prison to be king, although he was born poor in his kingdom.” I saw all the living who walk under the sun. They were with the second youth who stands in his place. There was no end of all the people over whom he was made king, yet those who come afterward will not rejoice in him. Surely this also is vanity and grasping for the win. I believe it’s critical when we talk about friendship to understand exactly what friends do to each other. They don’t simply attend… events together. They don’t simply laugh together. They don’t simply spend time together, though those things are all important. But what Christian friends do for each other in warming the heart is very important to understand. And maybe it’ll explain why a lot of us see our friends as kind of superficial, kind of just surface, plastic. They don’t really do anything for us. Maybe we’re not doing anything for anybody else either. 1 Thessalonians 5.11 says, And this concerns friends who have lost loved ones. Can you think of any hour of need any greater than that? A recent study I saw of the most serious crisis that happened to human beings, out of the first ten of them, six of them related to the death of someone. Number one of which was the death of a marital partner to whom you’ve been married for many years. And I look at things like this, and here’s a whole book about that was written really basically to teach the second coming of Christ as a blessing and a hope and encouragement to people who have lost loved ones. 90,000 people are going to die today and leave loved ones. A few weeks, a few months go by after the funeral, and you forget that that person is still experiencing the pain and the agony of that experience. Paul experienced that from God. He experienced physical, terrible suffering, affliction about which he spoke several times, and which became a very serious thorn in the flesh, and he asked God to take it away from him. Three times he begged God, literally, to take it away. God did not take it away. We do not know all that that thorn in the flesh means. We are told it was a messenger of Satan to buffet him. It does seem that it was some sort of physical problem. We don’t know, but God never took it away from him. Instead, God said to him, when you are weak, then you are strong. He said, my grace is sufficient for you, and my strength is made perfect in your weakness. As I evaluated this in thinking of that whole principle of Solomon, that two are better than one, and if either of them falls, one can lift up his companion, but woe to him who’s alone when he falls. I begin to understand that the problem often centers in the one who has not fallen, not in the one who has fallen. The one who has not fallen, if he is spiritual, if he has right attitudes, he is the one that will go to the brother who has fallen and try to build him up. But you know what I see happening? What I see happening in the Christian world is the opposite. The fallen one usually has to beg somebody to give him a little bit of help. Instead, we ought to see Spirit-filled believers who the moment learning of anybody in a difficulty or trial, we ought to be Johnny on the spot. If we’re true friends wanting to lift that person up. I say that a lot of needs could be met in the body of Christ if God’s people would have that kind of heart. We need friends. And the friends give us strength to avoid possible defeat. But look at the second phrase of verse 12. It says a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Everybody knows that. If you have three strands in a cord, the tendency of it breaking, of course, is much less than if there were just two. Now, what is the point here? If the first one is to avoid possible defeat, whether it comes physically or verbally or whatever, I think the point here is to accept potential difficulties in your life. It’s very, very possible that the whole issue of the threefold cord is that of stress. Too much weight on it. Make sure there are three strands so that it won’t bust. And I get to thinking about life. Life is that way. It seems like you can hardly go a week and not read somewhere, whether in a Christian or secular magazine, about stress. Everybody seems to be under stress. I mean, I look at that and I say, man, what’s happening to us? A three-fold cord is not quickly broken. Now, some people have interpreted this as meaning three friends. Some commentators say it means a man and his wife. They’re the ones that lie down together and keep warm. And then the three-fold cord is having a child. And that’s not easily broken. Now, I don’t think that’s the point at all. I think we’re still talking about the principle of verse 9, that two are better than one. We’re talking about friendship. And a threefold cord is not easily broken. It’s dealing with the stress on that rope. And many, many times, that’s what the friend does. He ministers to us in a way that we could not, in terms of bearing it alone, we could have not endured. Michael Eaton, in his great commentary on Ecclesiastes, makes a great statement at the end of this verse. He says, in some realms, progress may be measured by increasing independence. But in this realm, spiritual stature or maturity is measured by growing interdependence. Now I wonder if we understand that. If we are growing in the Lord, if our heart is really understanding not only our Lord’s heart, but His teaching to us as to what we’re to do to other people, do we understand the interdependence of the body of Christ that we desperately need one another? That is taught, as you know, over and over again in the New Testament. Two are better than selfish pursuits, obviously, in terms of success and support and strength in your life. But let’s look at the last paragraph. It’s also true that friendship is better than mere popularity. And don’t mix the two. Sometimes a person is popular and there are a lot of people around them, but that doesn’t mean that they have real friends. Look at verse 13 again. I saw all the living who walk under the sun. They were with the youth, the second one. who stands in his place. There was no end of all the people over whom he was made king, yet those who come afterward will not rejoice in him. Surely this also is vanity and grasping for the wind. Now, why is friendship better than mere popularity? I think, first of all, you recognize that in the common experiences of political leaders. Solomon was a political leader. He knew this problem. And he said, Better is a poor and wise youth than an old and foolish king who won’t be admonished anymore. The Bible speaks about friendship admonishing us. Open rebuke. Better than love that is concealed. Proverbs 27.5. But Solomon… He’s not paying attention to it. Sometimes age causes us no longer to see our need of the friend. We get to the point that we’re so old and so wise and so experienced, no one can tell us anything anymore. One writer says, it happens in middle age. I don’t know why, it just happens. Somehow we get to the point, oh, I have arrived. I now know all I need to know. And so we can’t ever be admonished. So often people, when they get old, they wind up with very few friends. And if they really haven’t understood what God says about ministry in the body of Christ, they are lonely, they don’t know what to do. And at a time when they really need it. Solomon knew what that was all about. An old and foolish king. He wrote… Interesting verses about this, speaking about what happens to old people who do not see their need of friends. It’s interesting, in Psalm 119, David said in verse 100, I understand more than the ancients, the elderly, because I keep your precepts. It’s possible for a young person to embarrass an old person because they keep the word of the Lord. And if you don’t grow old in the Lord, it’s going to be a sad day in your upper years. Job said that sometimes God takes away the discernment of the elders because they don’t walk with God anymore. There are dangers in getting old, and Solomon saw it. An old and foolish king who can’t be admonished anymore. No one can encourage him or counsel him. He walks a lonely road, and he doesn’t want any help, but he doesn’t want any advice for whatever reason. Don’t ever misunderstand popularity which Solomon had for many of the years of his life for true friendship. Most writers say that what Solomon is telling us here is out of his own heart, that when he got old and wrote Ecclesiastes, he was writing alone. A man who was lonely and who had looked at all the popularity of the past and there was nothing there. There was no one to comfort the soul at a time when he really needed it. Thus he writes, two are better than one. It’s not only demonstrated in an attitude of an old and foolish king, it’s also demonstrated in the acceptance of people. Just like all of us know in political elections, it’s so easy to forget the guy that was in power and to want to change and to have somebody else in power. And look at what Solomon says. He says this poor and wise youth came out of prison and he became king. He was born poor, but look what happened. He said, then I examined all the people. They were with him. But there was no end of all the people over whom he was made king. Look at all of his popularity. Yet verse 16 says, those who come afterward will not rejoice in him. Passing popularity, temporary, transitory, it doesn’t last. Friendship is so much better. So much better. Charles Bridges wrote that the love of change is a dominant principle of selfishness, insensible to present blessings and craving for some imaginary good. The love of change. Wanting somebody else. Solomon’s teaching there’s danger in numbers. I’d like you to turn back to Proverbs 18. Proverbs 18 and look at verse 24. It’s very important to understand that friendship is something more than mere popularity. The crowds shouted, Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord, Hosanna to Jesus, on Sunday. But later that week, they were shouting, Crucify him, crucifying. The crowd is fickle. The crowd changes quickly. The people down at work… If you don’t develop real friendship, hey, they’re not friends like you think. The people at school who hang around with you because you’re popular. If it’s not based on spiritual principles of friendship, hey, it’s not what you need. And those aren’t real friends in a crisis you’ll find out. This past week I was dealing with a young man who has a very serious problem in his life. Very serious. And his friends encourage him in the problem that he needs to get victory over. And his one concern was, what about my friends? The truth is that real friends don’t continue to waste a life away. Real friends don’t continue to keep putting you down and defeating you and discouraging you. Real friends are those who want to help you. not hinder you. They want to build you up, not tear you down. But as he looked at it, those were all the friends he had. He didn’t have any friends who truly cared about him and what he was going through. But he thought that the friends who were leading him astray were the friends of his life. They aren’t friends. But his popularity as he grew up brought these friends to him, but they were not real friends. Boy, what a principle this is. We read so many times in God’s Word about this, but one that I really like is this Proverbs 18.24. Now, depending on your translation, if you have a New American Standard or New International, you ought to compare it with the King James. There’s a very interesting problem here. King James says, A man who has friends must make himself friendly. But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. But if you’ve got the New American Standard, it speaks about coming to ruin if you have many friends. Now, wait a minute. Is it a man who has friends makes himself friendly? Or is it saying, having too many friends, you come to ruin. But in contrast to that, there’s a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Is this an admonition, a proverb from God against having too many friends? Or is it telling us how to have lots of friends? First of all, as I examined that Hebrew text over and over again, there are really only three words in the first phrase. One is the word friends, which appears in both texts. One is the word many. And one is the word ruin or destruction. It seems to me on this account that the New American Standard and the New International and other texts have tried to really grasp the meaning of those Hebrew words. Many friends ruin. But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. You see, sometimes we try to scatter our shots with too many people. And they’re superficial friendships. It’s like the problems of popularity. Oh, I got lots of friends. Really? The truth of the matter, the older we get, the more we center in on those few friends who are deep and intimate with us, who minister to us in times of need, whom God has brought our hearts together. Oh, I think we ought to share with as many people as we possibly can. But the Bible’s teaching there is a danger in a multitude of friends that drain the heart and drain off the energy and often do not have time to develop anything more meaningful than superficial greetings. I think we need to watch it. A man with many friends comes to ruin. But the last statement is the encouraging statement. There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Obviously, that refers to our Lord Jesus Christ, for he is that. But also there are people who are friends who stick closer than a brother. That principle stands, and it’s true. And the more you know about this spiritually, the more you understand that. The ministry to the heart of a dear, spirit-filled friend can mean more than every relative you ever had in our life, in your life. The Bible says that better is a friend who is near than a relative who is far away. And that is a true statement. And we learn that sometimes when we come to Christ, but our whole relative situation is not in the Lord. There are true friends who will minister to you. But the friend that is the friend of all friends is our Lord Jesus Christ himself. Interesting, back in Ecclesiastes chapter 4, Solomon’s concluding remark about this, about friendship being more than mere popularity, about two being better than one. Look at his final conclusion. We’ve seen it frequently in the book. The end of verse 16. Surely this also is vanity, emptiness. and grasping for the wind. And I watch people trying to have friends using popularity. I watch people who try to walk it alone. These things, Solomon says, are emptiness, meaningless, grasping for the wind. There’s nothing there. I doubt seriously that we can be friends to one another and love each other the way God wants us to without learning about the friendship of our Lord. He is the friend that sticks closer than a brother.
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Well, that’s Bible teacher David Hawking, and this is Hope for today. David will be back in a few moments, but first, Matt’s here, and we have something I think you’re really going to love. Matt?
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Jim, this note from the foreword of my dad’s book, Is Life Worth Living?, really captures the sad condition of our world today. It states, Contemporary culture has lost its way. We have rejected or at least neglected the moral and spiritual values of the Bible. And in our secularism, we have replaced God with ourselves and seem to believe that something is right or wrong depending upon how the majority of people feel about it. Nothing could be further from the truth. And following this path does not bring us into fulfillment or a sense of well-being in the end.
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Solomon discovered this, Matt, in stark and vivid terms. He had more of what the world offers than he could even keep track of. And he was surrounded with wealth, pleasures, influence, power. And it all led to his powerful conclusion. Life without God, without God on the throne of your heart, is sheer vanity.
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Yeah, and in today’s world, mankind’s pursuits leading to vanity are viral everywhere we look.
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Yeah, so how do we avoid that vanity, Matt? How do we stay strong, committed, faithful, and enthusiastic in our walk with God?
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Well, Solomon has Holy Spirit-inspired insights for us in Ecclesiastes. That’s why we’re studying through Ecclesiastes right now.
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And why we’re offering you a special power package this month is the Is Life Worth Living Pack, which features David’s book study of Ecclesiastes titled Is Life Worth Living? Plus every audio message in our current radio series. Yeah, the complete package, just $40. The Is Life Worth Living Pack will bless and strengthen you. And your purchase will also help the ministry of Hope for Today. And please continue praying for Hope for Today. Amen, Matt. Prayers are so encouraging to the Hope for Today team. And friends, if you’d like a copy of this great study package, the Is Life Worth Living Ecclesiastes package featuring David’s book, Is Life Worth Living, plus the complete audio for our current radio series, visit The whole package, just $40. And you can reach out now. And by the way, be sure to pick up the study notes for Ecclesiastes. These are David’s original sermon notes he used to preach the messages. And that package, all the sermon notes for the complete series, just $10. Call us at 800-75-BIBLE. That’s in the U.S. 888-75-BIBLE in Canada. Or order online at davidhocking.org. And just before David returns… Let’s be real for a moment. The month is slipping away fast. Can you believe it? The first month of 2026 is just about done, and what happens right now matters. This ministry runs on prayer, obedience, and the faithful support of people who believe God’s Word must keep going out loud and clear. With support, Hope for Today stays on the air, strong, and online as well. You can give online at davidhawking.org or call us at 800-75-BIBLE. Again, that’s in the U.S. or 888-75-BIBLE in Canada. You can also send a donation by mail in the U.S. Write to Hope for Today, Box 3927, Tustin, California, 927-7000. In Canada, write to Hope for Today, Box 15011, RPO 7 Oaks, Abbotsford, BC, V2S 8P1.
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And here’s David. Father, you know our need of friendship, and you have so many principles in your word about our ministry one to another. to bear one another’s burdens, to comfort one another, encourage, speak the truth to each other, to stop lying to one another. You tell us to comfort and console when there are problems like the death of a loved one, and to use God’s Word in doing that. You tell us to encourage somebody who’s fallen, who’s overtaken in a fault, and restore them, bearing their burdens. God, there’s so many instructions in your word about this. And I ask you, Lord, to do a real work in our hearts, even as we relate to our friends, that we would be the friend that you want us to be in time of need. And God, I know that much of that pours out of our relationship with your son, Jesus Christ, a friend of all friends. We remember that Jesus told his disciples that I call you no more servants. I call you my friends. And you are my friends if you do what I’ve commanded you. God, I pray that we’ll understand that our obedience to Christ, responding to what he wants us to do, is developing a personal friendship with him of saying, Lord, I love you so much, I’m going to do what you say. And help us to understand, Father, you said if we love you that way, then we will love the children of God. Amen. God, help us to accept it, to receive him as our Lord and Savior. We pray for Jesus’ sake. Amen.
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Tomorrow we open up Ecclesiastes chapter 5 with a message called, What Happened to Integrity? It’s a good question, isn’t it? Solomon looks at empty words, broken promises, and why God takes what we say to Him far more seriously than we do. Well, don’t miss it next time. That’s right here on Hope for Today. Hope for Today.
