Join us in this episode as we delve into the biblical understanding of anger and its potentially destructive nature. From the chronicles of Cain to scripture-laden guidance, discover why it’s crucial to handle anger with a grace that reflects God’s teachings. Learn the distinction between momentary anger and deep-seated resentment and how unforeseen consequences can arise if not addressed promptly.
Welcome to the In Touch Podcast with Charles Stanley for Tuesday, January 27th. Uncontrolled, fiery emotions can be devastating. Learn to understand them and find relief in the danger of anger on today’s podcast.
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We know that all the way back in the beginning of the Scriptures, in the first family in the Bible, what happened? Cain became angry and God said to him, you know, what are you angry about? And so we see the result of uncontrolled anger in the very first family. It caused the death of his brother. uncontrolled anger is a very dangerous form of anger what did he say he said that all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away deal with it along with all malice and be kind to one another tender-hearted forgiving each other just as God in Christ Jesus has forgiven you now God gives us lots of warnings. Let me just take you through a few verses in the Proverbs. I’ll take you through a minute, just a few, just to let you know that there are over 300 passages of Scripture in the Bible about anger. And I just want to begin with one here in Proverbs chapter 14. And I want you to notice the same word in some of these verses, and I want you to tell me what it is, all right? Proverbs 14, verse 29. Listen to this. He who is slow to anger… has great understanding. But he who is quick-tempered exalts folly, foolishness, that is, actions and conduct that are unwise. That’s what folly is. All right, turn, if you will, to the 15th chapter and look, if you will, in the 18th verse. A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger pacifies contention. That is, you know, if he’s slow to anger, somehow you’ll be able to deal with that. 16th chapter and the 32nd verse. He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who captures a city. Chapter 19 and verse 19. Now watch this one. He says, a man of great anger shall bear the penalty for his anger. For if you rescue him, you’ll only have to do it again. And what does he say? He says, listen, you can help people. in all kinds of situations, if their problem is anger and they don’t deal with it, he said, you’ll have to do it again because it requires a change of attitude, not a change of circumstance, not a change of location, not a change of dress, not a change of address, but a change of attitude. He says, you’ll just have to go right back and do it again. Now, what word have you heard in most of these verses? Be what? Slow to anger. Don’t react. Don’t listen. Don’t jump. Don’t let something tick you off. Don’t live with an anger level that is so strong. Look if you’re in the 22nd chapter for a moment. 22nd chapter, very important chapter. Listen to this. 22nd chapter, verse 24. Do not associate with a man given to anger. or go with a hot-tempered man, lest you learn his ways and find a snare for yourself.” He says, don’t become bosom friends of people who are angry. He says, because what will happen, his ways will slide into your ways. You’ll pick up on the same attitude. You may pick up on the same words. His influence or her influence may influence your thinking. He says, what will happen? He says, you learn their ways and find a snare for yourself. You’ll find yourself snared, caught, trapped by the same thing. Let’s go from Proverbs to the next book, which is Ecclesiastes. And look, if you will, in the seventh chapter. Listen to what he says. Now, this tells us what we are. When we have lingering anger, here’s how God defines us. Verse 9 of chapter 7 of Ecclesiastes. That’s Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, next book. Here’s what he says. Do not be eager in your heart to be angry. For anger resides in the bosom of what? Of a fool. Here’s what he says. If you and I allow anger to linger, we are fools to do that. Why? Because of its destructive power to us as well as to other people that we may express it upon. Then go all the way over to the book of James in the New Testament. Hebrews, James. And look, if you will, in this first chapter. First chapter of James, 19th and 20th verses. Listen to what he says. He says, That is, if I’m quick to hear, if I first of all made you on listening carefully to what’s happening, slow to speak… having heard first, then I will be slow to anger for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. That is, I cannot be right with God and live in lingering anger. Does it mean I can be right with God and have moments of anger? Yes. What am I supposed to do? I’m to deal with them when? I’m to deal with them before the sun sets. I should deal with it right then. Anger in itself is not a sin. Rage and underlying sin that goes on and on and on over a period of time, that is a sin. Momentary hurts and pains, we have to deal with it. He says, be angry and sin not. Check yourself. He said, be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Now, that one little sentence right there ought to be a good word for all of us. He says, quick to hear, listen carefully. Now, what do they really say? What do they really mean? What does this mean? How am I to interpret this? And then speak, and then he says, slow to anger, even after I’ve evaluated it all. Now, So what we have to ask is, this being true, how are you and I to deal with this anger that we have? How are we to handle it? Well, most people handle it by, we said, repressing it, suppressing it, by letting it linger in their life. by explosions, or they will deal with it in the proper fashion. So what I’d like to do is to think in terms about how are we to deal with this anger. So I want you to listen carefully now, because no matter how angry you are, whether you’re angry at yourself or at God or at someone or some circumstance, you see, The first thing you have to do to deal with anger is to own it. Yes, I am angry. Now, there are a lot of people who will go through their life and they will never be willing to admit that. Don’t tell me I’m angry because I’m not angry. And this is really what happens sometimes. When you say to somebody, well, I think I am not angry. Well, if you’re not, why do you express it even to defend yourself? Because you are. So, first of all, you own it. Yes, I am angered. I’m angered about this. I’m angry about that. I’ve been angered about this over here. I own it, first of all. Maybe something back on your past, years and years ago, something that you thought someone did to you. They may not have even done it. Something you thought they said when it was somebody else. It’s amazing how people project on people things that absolutely never happened. So first of all, we own it. Secondly, we identify what it is. You see, if you don’t identify it, you’ll misdirect it. And if you misdirect it, you get hurt and other people get hurt and innocent people get hurt. We’ve seen how devastating that can be when anger that lingered back there from a father through all these years began to express itself and that in the most devastating, tragic fashion. Misdirected anger, expressing it in the wrong fashion to the wrong people. So I would say to you, my friend, be certain that you identify. Ask yourself the question, why am I angry? Why am I really angry? That’s why he says slow to anger. Ask yourself the question, why am I angry? Now, what’s the real source? When did this start? Have I been angry a long time? Who am I really angry at? What’s causing me to act this way? Because you see, it always has a source. But if I’m quick to respond and quick to be easily ignited, I will never deal with a source and I will just keep on hurting people and keep on dividing people and keep on separating people no matter what. And one of the most exciting things to me, and I don’t get into the counseling because I don’t have time to do that, but I can tell you one of the most exciting things to me is to sit down with somebody who is angry or whatever the problem and take that first little, just that little tip end of the iceberg And say, now look, let’s find out how big this is. Let’s find out where this goes. And you know what? If somebody will be open and honest with you, even if they won’t, you can find out what the real source of their anger or bitterness or hostility is. Because it’s there. The Spirit of God will show you. Another thing I would simply say is not only to identify it and to own it, what the source of it is, but deal with it quickly. That’s what he says. He says in this particular passage, he says, be angry and yet do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger. Do not give the devil an opportunity. Why did he say don’t give the devil an opportunity? Because the devil, listen, if it lingers. Here’s what the devil’s doing all the time. You are justified in your anger. Listen, they deserve it. God understands. He knows all about it. This is what they… That’s not right. You know what happens? Satan will take your lingering anger. He will build you the most awesome defense. And you can stand looking at anybody in the face and you say, I’ll tell you why I’m angry. He did this or she did that or they did this to me and on and on and on you go and you can defend yourself. And what you have to ask is, who was your defending attorney? Satan. Doesn’t work. You see, defending it doesn’t work. A fourth thing, and probably the most difficult thing, is this. I have to forgive whoever hurt me, no matter what. Now, you say, well, you know what? I said, all this, I’m going to listen. You may be tempted to turn off your radio, but if you do, it’ll be to your disadvantage. Because forgiveness is absolutely the most important aspect of dealing with anger. Anger and unforgiveness are traveling companions. They just match together. I have anger towards you. Because of what you’ve done, I cannot forgive you. Oh, I can forgive you, but I can’t forget. That’s not forgiveness. I can forgive you, but… When you put a butt behind it, you haven’t forgiven anybody. Forgiveness is absolutely essential. Listen to what he says. He says, put away. Put away all these things. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you along with all malice unless you have been wrong. That’s not what it says. Unless they deserve it. No. He says, put it away. And then not only put it away, he says, and be kind to one another. Tender hearted. forgiving one another, even just like God has forgiven you. Now let’s ask ourselves the question, how has he forgiven us? When he went to the cross, he paid our sin debt in full, past, present, future. He knew that you and I were going to sin against him. And listen, his blood has taken care of that. That does not mean I’m not to confess it, does not mean I’m not to repent of it. I am indeed. That is absolutely essential to my fellowship with him. So therefore, here’s what I have to ask. Do I have any justification whatsoever for being unforgiving toward anyone no matter what they’ve done to me? How can I be unforgiving toward someone when, now watch this, when God has already forgiven me? And secondly, If they’re another Christian, if that’s another Christian, he’s already forgiven them. If he has forgiven them, how can I not forgive them? It absolutely set me free. How can I hold something against someone when God doesn’t? If someone is not a Christian, vengeance is mine, says the Lord. I will repay, says the Lord. You know what? Why should I be angry and let this poison seep into my life and destroy me when God says, leave them to me? I’ll take care of them if it’s an unsaved person, if it’s somebody who’s doing wicked and they’re ungodly. God says, I’ll handle it. Don’t you try to handle it. Let me handle that. Don’t let sin creep into your life and linger and destroy and poison your whole system, cheating you out of the understanding of love and the expressions of contentment and joy and peace and happiness in your life. Don’t allow yourself to be cheated out of all that because of what they… I will deal with them. You see, the truth is you and I can’t justify an unforgiving spirit. And therefore, if I’m going to be forgiving, I’ve got to deal with my anger. You cannot be angry and resentful and hostile and bitter and same time be forgiving. They just don’t work. So if I’m going to be forgiving, I’ve got to deal with my anger. I’ve got to acknowledge what it is. What is this source? You say, well, I’ve acknowledged what it is. I’ve acknowledged the source. And they are the source. And they are the reason. They are the cause. All this hurt, all this pain, all this suffering, all this loss, it’s their fault. And you know what? You and God can both say right. But what is your responsibility? One thing. Forgiveness. You have to lay it down. You have to say, Lord, thank you for your forgiveness toward me. Thank you that you loved me enough that you forgave me of all my sins. And God, you know I’m going to be, I’m weak and I’m frail, I’m going to sin again, and your forgiveness is there. How can I hold an unforgiving spirit towards someone else, no matter what they’ve done? When my Heavenly Father’s forgiveness is abundant, overflowing, adequate, sufficient, saving, and eternal. Cannot justify it. If you’re going to deal with anger, you’ve got to be forgiving. Another thing I would simply say is this, and that is, learn to identify, watch this now, learn to identify those things that frequently tick you off, cause you to be angry. It may be something that happens real often. It may be something that happens once a month. It may be something that happens on your job very often. You sort of know it’s coming. Or, It’s just one of those areas of your life. That’s one area. Become sensitive to it. Remember what he said? Quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. So what do we do? We ask the Holy Spirit. You see, here’s one of our assets. We have the Holy Spirit on the inside of us. He says the fruit of the Spirit is self-control. We have the power on the inside of us, in the person of the Holy Spirit, to enable you and me, no matter what we face, to respond in a godly fashion. I may hurt, I may feel the pain, I may get angry for the moment, but to recognize, Father, enable me to respond to this in the proper fashion. Don’t let me respond, God, in an ungodly fashion. We have Him to enable us, to strengthen us, to help us through these difficult times, no matter what may be going on, no matter what we may feel. Now, if I develop that kind of alertness that what’s going on then I’m going to be able to handle those things that would cause me to be angry. Now, let me ask you a question. You’ve never trusted Jesus as your Savior. You may be angry at God, angry at the church, angry at some pastor, angry at some other Christian, your employer, your friends, your enemies, whoever it might be. Well, let me ask you a question. Think about this for a moment. Let’s suppose that you’re angry at somebody who doesn’t even know that you’re angry toward them. They’ve never done anything. You just think they have. Do you see how foolish it is for you to be hurting and the suffering and the poison of anger and bitterness to be flowing through your whole system, affecting your whole body physiologically as well as emotionally, mentally, spiritually? They don’t even know it. They’re totally immune to the whole idea. And here you are suffering over something that’s a misunderstanding. It’s not worth it. It’s not worth it when you can lay it down. He says, put it aside. If anger could not be put aside, the apostle Paul would never have said, lay it down, put it aside. What does he mean? Face it, identify it, bring it before God, confess it, repent of it before him, forgive the person that wronged you. If it’s a circumstance that you can’t put a person’s name on, then tell God you acknowledge that He’s in control, that He allowed that for some reason in your life, and whatever it is, you accept His reason, though you may never understand. You just want to be right with Him. And you know what’ll happen? You’ll be free. You’ll sense a joy and a peace and a happiness and a tranquility and a contentment in your life that you can’t explain. And you know what happens? It’ll make it very difficult for somebody to make you angry. And listen carefully. That is not to say that there will not be tragedies that are so awesome in our thinking that clouds our mind for a season of time until we can begin to think properly. But I do believe that no matter how deep it may be and how hurt and painful it may be, the capacity, to get our focus upon our Lord and not upon somebody else. Listen, it’s not only possible, it is the way God intends for us to deal with anger. I plead with you in Jesus’ name, do not let it linger any longer. Don’t let it seethe. And just slip out and passively, aggressively, continually express it upon people that you may get by with it as far as they’re concerned, but not with God. And most of all, not with your own body and your own life. God offers the gift of peace, contentment, and joy, but only to those who are willing to come to him and ask for it and accept it. And Father, how grateful we are for your wonderful love for us. Deliver every single one of us from any anger, bitterness, hostility, resentment. Give us the courage to face whatever circumstance or whoever to ask to make things right in order that your Holy Spirit can rule and reign in our hearts and the wonderful joy and peace and contentment and happiness that you have for us we can enjoy every day. I pray the Holy Spirit will speak to someone who is unsaved and help them to understand. Until they’re willing to deal with their sin problem, nothing else is going to work out right. Give us the courage to do just what you said. Before the sun sets today, let there be peace where there has been pain. In Jesus’ name, amen.
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Thank you for listening to part two of The Danger of Anger. For more inspirational messages like this one, visit our 24-7 online station. And if you’d like to know more about Charles Stanley or InTouch Ministries, stop by InTouch.org. This podcast is a presentation of InTouch Ministries, Atlanta, Georgia.
