Grace Fox – A Trustworthy Friend / AMY SIMPSON – MENTAL HEALTH

SPEAKER 02 : 0:00

Welcome to The Good News with Angie Austin. Now, with The Good News, here’s Angie.

SPEAKER 05 : 0:09

Hello there, Angie Austin and Grace Fox. And we are talking here on The Good News about her book, Finding Hope in Crisis. And today we are focusing on the devotion titled, A Trustworthy Friend. Oh, I like that title. Welcome back, Grace Fox.

SPEAKER 03 : 0:23

Thank you so much, Angie. It’s good to be back.

SPEAKER 05 : 0:27

You know, I can tell you, through my many years now of interviewing you, I think that you are a really great friend, not just to your friends, like in the marina where you’ve lived on your sailboat with your husband for many years, and you entertain people and have them over for coffee and give them a sense of community, but also to your grandkids and your kids and how much you help your family out and then your ministry. So you are a good friend to many. And I wanted to, just before we got into this particular devotion, share You’re going through a huge life change right now where you’re going to be moving off of the sailboat, you told me a few weeks ago, and I haven’t talked to you since that time. And then you’re moving back into a condo that you’ve rented out for many years. And remodeling a property is always more of an undertaking than you think it will be, isn’t it?

SPEAKER 03 : 1:13

No kidding, because actually today was the day we were supposed to move in. And then one more thing that came up that had to be resolved. And so the next day that we have available to move is the 21st. So although the work will be done in a few days, it’ll be good to go, but we’re not going to be around to move in. So we just have to wait for that day to come. But we’re looking forward to it. It’s a new season. Good things happen. Yes.

SPEAKER 05 : 1:36

New season. And I love that part of the reason you’re doing it is because when you have all these kids and grandkids come to visit, that the boat doesn’t really provide a lot of space for entertaining. So now you’ll have the condo with more room for your relatives. But keep everybody, of course, the kids and grandkids want you to keep the boat because that’s also a fun getaway for everyone as well.

SPEAKER 03 : 1:56

That’s right. So my husband, the sailor man, he would like to keep the boat for another two years or so. We’ll see if we can use it more recreationally. But just in the last few days, made plans. For this summer to have the daughter with the three little ones come on board, they asked, can we do a trip with you for like three days? That would be about all we can do with the three little ones on the boat. And we said, yeah, sure. But for us to meet up with them at the place where we need to meet them will take us about five days to get there on the boat. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we’re going to do that. And it’s so much fun because… We have some friends living way out in Manitoba who never have a chance to go on a boat like this. And so we’ve invited them to fly out here, join us on the boat for those five days. we will sail up there to the rendezvous point with our, you know, to meet our daughter and her husband and their kids. And then our couple friend from Manitoba will hop on a plane and fly home. So they won’t be all on the boat at the same time, not enough space for that. But that way we can accommodate, you know, two sets of vacationers, you know, who want to be on the boat with us. And I think that will be a ton of fun. So that’ll be July.

SPEAKER 05 : 3:11

That’s another cool thing. I think you do that. My parents didn’t really do, and it’s interesting that you do so much of this, and many of the people, successful people that I interview do, especially Christians, keep friendships up over many years. I was thinking about my mom, and I’m going to be out of town over the weekend, summer for an extended period of time, like a month in Europe. And I was thinking, what if something happened to my mom? And then I realized, well, we won’t have a funeral. And my mom doesn’t have any friends. And we will do something with my brother and myself and then and my family, my kids and my husband. So that would be like our, you know, get together would just be me and my brother, and then my family. And I thought to myself, Oh, my goodness, like mom doesn’t have She doesn’t make any phone calls with friends. She hasn’t kept up with any friends that my dad was the same. He just needed my stepmom. And he had lots of acquaintances through his work at the university and his teaching of Tai Chi and his work as a professor. But he didn’t keep any, you know, friendships going during the years, whereas my stepmom now who is alone. And living in a town quite some quite a ways from me, I don’t get to see her very often. She has a huge circle of friends. And then you will tell me about going all over the world and all of these friendships. And we’ve talked about the Harvard Happiness Study and the greatest and the best indicator of happiness is connections, friendships, family. And I thought, wow, it’s it’s just neat to see. How many, like these friends, you’re always telling me, oh, and this friend we have here, and then, oh, we have lifelong friends here. And I think that’s really neat that you do that. That’s something that I aspire to do as well in my life.

SPEAKER 03 : 4:47

Yeah, we really have to be intentional about friendships because life can be so busy. And sometimes we just get so caught up in our own little world that we forget that there’s a world out there, too, of people who would be… It’s fabulous to have relationships with, but we have to make time. And maybe it’s once a month, get together for coffee. Or maybe it’s a long-distance friendship where the best you can do is FaceTime once a month. We have young friends. They’re the age of our kids, but we’ve known them. He worked as a translator for us in some of the camps that we’ve done. So we’ve known this couple from before they were married. They were still just in their early 20s and dating when we first got to know them. and they live in england now a polish couple living in england but we’ve been to visit them when we had to go through that airport you know on another trip we on the way home we got off in london and we went and stayed with them for a few days and had a marvelous time and so like once a year or a couple times a year we do a whatsapp call with them and we just did recently but you have to schedule that time. Sometimes they’re both working, we’re busy. And so it’s easy to go for a long time without touching base unless you are intentional. But it’s nice to have those kinds of friendships that you can just pick up where you left off.

SPEAKER 05 : 6:07

Oh, isn’t it? It is. I totally agree with you on that. And I was thinking about the effort, you know, because for me and for you, too, in many cases, it’s not just – I’ve got a friend in San Diego, and I have a special ticket where I can get last-minute tickets for taxes, so it’s $16, so I could go to – Pretty much anywhere in the U.S. each way, $16. So I’m like, OK, well, I just need to. But then you’ve got to rent the car. And sometimes you have to get a hotel. Then you have to make the arrangements to get to the airport. Then you have to make the arrangements to get from the airport. And then if it’s a big family gathering, you’ve got to get tickets for, you know, like the family reunions I have. You’ve got to get tickets for the whole family or like this trip to Europe. I’m going with my former co-anchor from Los Angeles. And She and I just got back from Key West and Los Angeles, and we’re planning this. It’s months of planning. And so, yes, not all of them take that much of an effort, but you mentioned the phone call. My stepmom, with her family, she does FaceTime, big family FaceTime calls, and sometimes she’ll lead them in Tai Chi because she’s a Tai Chi instructor. There’ll be people from all over the world really now. They’re all originally from Iran and they’ll do a FaceTime call. And so those FaceTime calls, you can, when I met people on this cruise we recently took, my kids said, well, you’re going from your kids for seven months. Like, what do you do? And he goes, oh, I talk to him every night on FaceTime. Yes, it’s not the same, but it’s still super special. And it’s better than a text. And it’s better than a phone call. You actually have a FaceTime call and you’re telling jokes and interacting like you’re sitting down for coffee.

SPEAKER 03 : 7:35

Yeah, we’ve done that with our kids long distance when we haven’t been able to be with them for Christmas, for instance. We’ll do something like that. There’s even games that we have played together online. Like you can download apps. So if you each download this certain app, then you can play it together even though you’re distance apart. Oh, I want to know that.

SPEAKER 05 : 7:58

If you remember that, send that to me later.

SPEAKER 03 : 8:00

I’m curious about that.

SPEAKER 05 : 8:01

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I’d like to know that. Does that be fun with my kids and grandma and grandpa? Like they would get a kick out of it. I know there’s like words with friends or something, but I think some of, you know, an easier one might be good for the kids and grandparents. Oh, I love that. All right. Well, we’re talking, the reason we’re on this whole friend chat right now is because in Grace’s book, Finding Hope in Crisis, we’re talking about her devotion titled A Trustworthy Friend. So what are you teaching us in this devotion, Grace?

SPEAKER 03 : 8:28

Yeah, well, I started with a key verse from Matthew 11, 28. It says, Then Jesus said, Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. And I’m just thinking that is, to me, the most beautiful invitation. And what will our RSVP be to that invitation? And here’s this friend saying, Come, come to me. He’s not going to chase after us. He’s not going to hound us. He leaves that option to us. But the invitation is there. Come to me if you’re tired and I’ll give you rest. And so I told the story of being in Eastern Europe at one point and going to board a train. I was with a Polish friend and a little man came up and he said, uh motion so he wanted to take my suitcase from me and carry it and my instinct was like oh i don’t know you so don’t trust him but the polish friend just gave me a little nod like it’s okay okay and so i handed him my suitcase and this little man he just climbed the steps onto the train set it down and then he opened his palm for payment And I remember, you know, putting the coins in his hand and that was fine. But I just thought of how I trusted a stranger to carry my bag for me and not just take off with it. But how much more should I trust Jesus who offers to carry my burdens? And, you know, he really is the best friend. Like he’s saying, you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to carry it yourself. Let me have it. Why don’t I always jump to it? What is it that sometimes makes me think I can do it better or I don’t want to give it to him? So that’s my issue. I need to deal with that because Offer is there. He’s a trustworthy friend. He just wants to help. ease my load by carrying that burden for me and and what is isn’t that beautiful it’s just so beautiful I just need to learn to say you got it okay just give it up give it up and let him have it because he’s offering and you and I so often talk about how difficult that is to do and I know that if you’re in your daily quiet time and maybe like my aunt she does daily quiet time and she sings and she’s in her bible and she takes notes and then she has specific things that

SPEAKER 05 : 10:48

You know, she likes to study. And I feel like the more you’re in the Word, the more likely you are to trust in the Lord because you’re more familiar with Him, because you’re building that relationship with Him. And then I think, you know, some of us Christians that aren’t as devoted, like I actually do get time every day talking about faith and talking with people of faith because I’m blessed that this is what I do. I talk to people for a living. You know, I talk. And but I listen. And so I feel like I have kind of like built in church kind of in my job where I talk to people of faith. But as far as like you and many of my other friends that get up, one of my friends gets up before the sun’s up. And I think you do, too. And you have a special area, I believe, where you like to spend quiet time and. This, that and the other. And I feel like many of my friends are more disciplined than I am. And it’s easier for them to trust the Lord because they are better at having quiet time and establishing a relationship where I do it in a communal manner, where in speaking with you and your work and your ministry, I feel fed in a way. And I feel like I learn things from everyone I interview.

SPEAKER 03 : 11:50

Mm hmm. Well, one of the things, yeah, it is different. One of the things that I’ve done to really learn to understand what he’s like, because I truly believe the more we know him, the better we are to trust him. It only makes sense.

SPEAKER 1 : 12:04

100%. 100%.

SPEAKER 03 : 12:06

So I realized that in the word of God, God has made his character known to us through his biblical name, especially in the Old Testament. And so that’s why I’ve written three books now on the names of God. The third one will come out this summer, Names of God Growing Strong. So when we examine those names and we begin to understand what is the original name, Hebrew meaning of these words, it’s not as hard as it sounds, but then to see how biblical characters experienced God by those names. Then I realized, well, I’ve experienced God by those names. I didn’t even know it was that name at the time, but now I get it. And, you know, done interviews with other women who have experienced God by those names in their lives. It’s understanding who he is that allows us to trust him more, just like we trust people more as we get to know them. And we realize their intent toward us is good. We can trust them. They’re kind. They’re generous. They’re not talking about us behind our back. You know, those kinds of people, we trust them and we can trust Jesus.

SPEAKER 05 : 13:09

I so appreciate you, Grace Fox. Give us your website, please.

SPEAKER 03 : 13:14

Gracefox.com.

SPEAKER 05 : 13:17

All right. We will talk to you next week. Good luck with that move-in.

SPEAKER 03 : 13:20

Thank you.

SPEAKER 01 : 13:25

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SPEAKER 04 : 14:19

Colorado Springs is listening to the Mighty 670 KLT.

SPEAKER 05 : 14:28

Hey there, friend. Angie Alston here with the good news. Really happy to welcome back Amy Simpson, author of Mental Illness, What to Know and How to Help. Welcome back, Amy. Thank you so much. I appreciate the chance to talk with you again. such an important topic and just both of us working to take the stigma off of mental illness so people can treat it like other illnesses and not be embarrassed to say they’re suffering from something involving mental illness. Kind of give everyone just a brief overview of the book if they didn’t hear you on the show last time.

SPEAKER 04 : 15:00

Sure. This is a short book. It’s an easy read actually. Um, and so it’s simple to pick up and use right away. And, um, designed to just be a tool that people can use when they’re in the situation of really knowing someone who is affected by mental illness or maybe trying to navigate this situation with a family member and understanding what they need to know about mental illness and how they can help. So it’s a very quick kind of basic resource that helps you understand some basics and then, okay, where can I go from there and how can I actually step in and be a part of what this what someone who’s experiencing a mental health crisis needs.

SPEAKER 05 : 15:41

Since we have so many people of faith listening to the program, I think this is such an important book, but an important question. Why do you think that so many Christians believe that you shouldn’t suffer from anxiety or depression or believe that others shouldn’t, like if their faith was right? I remember someone saying something to the effect of, to me, well, if they get their walk with God right or if they get right with the Lord, they won’t need to be on antidepressants. And so, like, can you talk a little bit about that topic?

SPEAKER 04 : 16:14

Yeah, it’s a great question. I think it’s interesting that we have this misconception because, you know, we don’t tend to think this way about any other form of illness as Christians. And even though it’s sometimes in the past or in different cultures, you know, we might have had situations where people would think certain diseases, certain medical issues were caused by spiritual problems, you know, directly, but we tend to not think that way about anything except mental illness. And I think there is some, I partly just some maybe leftover thinking from what the way people thought about mental illness in the past. And, and not because not, not as a Christian necessarily way of thinking, but just sort of a superstitious way of thinking because mental illness is a feels mysterious to us. It’s not something that we can easily see. And let me, I can see that there’s something wrong in your brain, you know, and I can see the bruise or the, you know, the problem like I can with a broken limb or a bruise on your body, you know, that tends to be visible. Mental illness really is not physically visible. So I think that’s one aspect of it. It feels really mysterious and kind of hidden because It sort of is. It’s it’s in our brain. Yeah. You know, it’s in parts of our body that we can’t see. But I think also there’s a confusion here between around how people are actually made. You know that we are really complex beings and there are spiritual there’s. Our spiritual lives are central and core to everything else, but we’re also physical beings, and we’re also emotional beings. And God has created us in his image, so we are very complex creations. And it’s not so simple as saying, this part of your life is affected, and so you just fix it, right? Or that the spiritual aspects of our lives kind of fix everything else or have such a strong impact on everything else. It’s not that direct. While I will acknowledge that the health of us spiritually is tremendously important to every aspect of our lives, including our physical health, including our habits, all of that is tremendously important and does impact our mental health. Our spiritual health or our spiritual well-being is not the thing, the lever that we pull that controls everything else. We have to attend to our needs around the other ways that we’re made to. And we can be harmed and injured and, you know, not healthy in other parts of our being besides just the things that we can see and just our, you know, our spiritual. So because we can’t see it does not automatically make it a spiritual issue. But I think that’s often what we boil it down to.

SPEAKER 05 : 19:04

Yeah, I like the way you explain it, too. It’s just not as tangible the way you can grab a leg and say, oh, look, it’s, you know, it’s broken here. And so it’s like not tangible. So it’s harder to really grasp it. And I think, too, I can’t even imagine coming up to someone and saying, oh, my goodness, I heard that you have cancer. I hope you get right with the Lord and you get rid of that soon.

SPEAKER 04 : 19:23

That’s right. Exactly. And if you just had more faith or you spent more time in prayer, you know, that would probably just go away.

SPEAKER 05 : 19:30

Yeah, and I’m sure they’re not trying to be offensive, but I find it very offensive. Like there’s something wrong with you, and that’s why you’re suffering from menial illness, because you’re just – you’re not working hard enough on your walk with the Lord, like you said, praying enough, et cetera. So what do you – What kinds of like personal challenges or questions about God did you have, you know, regarding and if you want to give a little recap about your mom’s own struggles? Because, you know, growing up around mental illness like you and I both did, I think it does make you question your faith. Like, why is God doing this to my family, my mom, my brother, my whatever? And so let’s talk a little bit about that. You know, your own situation with your mom and how did that make you question your faith or faith in general?

SPEAKER 04 : 20:15

Yeah. So my mom has schizophrenia. She was as far as I know, she was not diagnosed until I was a teenager, although it’s possible that she was diagnosed earlier than that. And I just don’t. Just don’t have the story. But she was definitely experiencing the symptoms of the illness long before that. She got married when she was 19 years old when my dad and her got married, which is, you know, kind of that classic, right in that classic age when schizophrenia symptoms typically start. So she was, you know, in her late teens, early 20s, and she was, when my parents got married, she was showing lots of symptoms of schizophrenia, but he didn’t recognize or understand what was happening. And she was able to function well enough that it was sort of not openly, not diagnosed as far as I know, and not openly recognized for a long time. But certainly affected my family in a tremendous way, even from before I was born. But yeah, when I was a teenager, my mom became so when I was 14 became so profoundly ill from her schizophrenia that she really lost her ability to function. And then at that point, you know, there was really no choice but for her to receive treatment and to receive a diagnosis. But it took a long time to understand what she was walking through. And I didn’t know we didn’t receive the official diagnosis for family for about 30 years after that. Wow. She would not consent to us talking with her doctors and wouldn’t share her medical information. She was embarrassed. Yeah, it’s very common. And because of the way our medical system is set up, people who have the illness have control over the information that’s shared. So we didn’t know… Or we didn’t receive confirmation. We knew, you know, because of what we had seen that all symptoms pointed to a diagnosis of a psychotic disorder, probably schizophrenia. But so walking through that struggle, especially as a teenager and seeing, you know, how my parents were really had kind of, you know, fallen apart, you Um, my parents remain married. They, they, they’re still married today. My family stayed together, but, um, in a sense, we just, we all kind of were on our own. And, um, that was obviously there was, that was a challenging experience for me. There are many, um, difficult experiences and traumas related to all the stories that I could share. Um, my mom has been homeless. She’s been in danger. She has been, um, in prison. She’s served time in jail and in prison. She’s, you know, been on the news, you know, just lots of things that we’ve experienced. And through all of that, I did ask those questions that you mentioned, questions like, why? Why would God allow a Christian to suffer this way? Why would God allow my family or my Christian family to suffer this way? My dad was a pastor for 10 years when I was growing up. Before this point, after my mom became fully incapacitated, he really was not able to serve as a pastor of a church. But before that, my parents were very faithful. They were… In ministry, you know, just sort of all of the things or a lot of the things that you’re tempted to believe mean that God will treat you better than other people, you know, sort of to quote. It’s not about the way God treats us, but, you know, that’s the way we tend to think, I think. you know, that somehow God’s going to make sure that, that really bad things don’t happen to us because we’re, we’re doing so much for him and we’re so, you know, we’re faithful and, and we, and we love him and we tell other people about him and, you know, all of that. And, you know, I really had to wrestle through my theology around that and come to understand that that’s not the way it works. But, but I, it was a long road and a difficult road for me to get there. And I had many questions for God. I was, angry with him and, you know, went to the church and got mixed results, mostly, you know, kind of unhelpful responses when I did seek help with these questions. So yeah, it’s not easy to go through the faith crisis that can come along with a mental health crisis, not only for the person with the, with the illness, but also for those who love that person. And how is she doing now? My mom is actually doing relatively well right now. She’s, she’s in her eighties and, and most people with schizophrenia don’t necessarily live that long because there are so many risks that come with, you know, many lifestyle risks and other risks that having that diagnosis. But for, for, for people who do get to an advanced age with schizophrenia, often it, it settles down a bit. And I would say that’s true for my mom. She’s she’s living pretty well with it right now. And, and she’s, pretty, in a pretty stable place. She’s also, um, in assisted living, which is helpful because it, it sets some boundaries around her life and what she has to navigate with her illness. So, um, you know, she’s impaired. She’s not, um, she will never be fully, you know, at the level of health that we would consider to be normal, but she’s, um, she’s doing okay. And she’s following the Lord and loves her Bible and spends time in it. And, um, and stays with her medication, which is a huge deal.

SPEAKER 05 : 25:49

Yeah. I think that is helpful to be in a setting where they take it. My two brothers that suffer from mental illness, one’s in a facility now where he takes it, but just like you said, with the extra risks, I think I mentioned you last time I talked to my brother that was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, manic depression, he was murdered. So it just, it’s that lifestyle and the medication you say in the book that, that treatment does not equate a cure. And so I think that’s where my brothers have run into such, um, such troubles because they’ll stop taking their medication or in Bryce’s case did. So, you know, he obviously doesn’t take any more because he was killed. Um, but, um, you know, with my little brother, he, you know, is in a facility where they give him his medication, but boy, let me tell you something. When I get a call from him, you know, I never know. He never has a cell phone. I don’t know where he’s living. I don’t know if he’ll be homeless. Um, I can’t reach him. I get my call once or twice a year, maybe on like Mother’s Day or my birthday or Christmas or something. And I can tell immediately if he’s on his medication immediately. And if he’s over medicated, you know, because that also is an issue, you know, because they have no affect and they talk very monotone. And the kids are always like, what’s wrong with your brother? Like when he calls, he sounds so weird. But other times, you know, he doesn’t. And again, like you said, that treatment is not a cure. Amy, I love having you on. I want to have you on again. Where can people find you and your book Mental Illness? What to know and how to help Amy Simpson?

SPEAKER 04 : 27:19

Yeah, this book is really it’s published by Aspire Press, which is part of Rose Publishing, which is part of Tyndale House Publishers. So you can find it, you know, by looking for Aspire Press titles or Rose Publishing and or just going to Tim down house publishers. But it’s really also available anywhere else that people are used to getting their Christian books, you know, at those Christian bookstores or online where they’re, where they’re looking for those books, they can find it. So yeah, mental illness, what to know and how to help. It’s a short, like I said, it’s a short read. It’s, um just over 100 pages long so it’s really a quick one and it’s actually something that you can easily tuck in your bag or purse and carry around with you too if you want to have one handy to hand to somebody who might who might somebody else who might need it as well um and then i’m you know i’m on um x i’m on linkedin instagram pinterest if people want to find me there but um yeah they can find this book really wherever they would typically buy their books

SPEAKER 05 : 28:18

Excellent. Well, thank you, Amy. Thanks for joining us again.

SPEAKER 04 : 28:20

Thank you so much.

SPEAKER 02 : 28:21

I appreciate it. Thank you for listening to The Good News with Angie Austin on AM670 KLTT.