In this episode, we delve into the intricacies of maintaining a resilient marriage with Ricardo Flores, a seasoned director of Marriage Ministries. Ricardo elucidates how understanding biblical principles, such as agape love, and applying them through his CARE model can save and strengthen relationships. From personal testimonies to the importance of emotional stability during marital challenges, this conversation is rich with practical advice for couples seeking to fortify their commitments and build lasting, Christ-centered partnerships. Learn where to find his impactful book and how it can serve as a valuable resource for faith-based couples.
00:00:00 Introduction to Ricardo Flores and Storm-Proof Marriage
Well, hey, it’s Mike Treen with Crawford Media Group. Today we’re joined by Ricardo Flores. Ricardo is the Director of Marriage Ministries. And Ricardo, tell us a little bit about your background there at the church, and we’re going to get right into our topic today.
SPEAKER 02 :
Hello, Mike. It’s a pleasure to be here with you speaking about storm-proof marriage. I’ve been working for more than five years at Somos Grace as the director of the marriage ministry, through which we’ve seen change and transformation in couples. And I’m excited to talk about how we can have a storm-proof marriage.
SPEAKER 01 :
Ricardo, tell us. Of course, there are no storms in marriages, and most of us They’ve been married a while, realized, oh, my goodness, nobody told us it was going to be that way. Yet you found successful ways to help couples work through those. I guess probably one of the first questions is why the book, why the training and everything that you’re doing? What started you on this path?
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, it all goes back to my personal experience and my relationship with my wife. We’ve been married for 37 years. God bless. But, you know, we went through some storms prior to coming to Christ and right after coming to Christ. I came to Christ first and then she did. But in that process, we experienced some storms in our marriage. And the reason was I figured out, I found out through prayer and close relationship with Christ, I was trying to kind of force my wife to come into Christianity, and it just didn’t seem to work that way. And basically through prayer and reflection through God’s Word, I was able to learn that God, you know, Jesus told me, you know, through the Bible, listen, she needs to see transformation in you. When you… change from the inside out. She’s going to feel attracted to the gospel. And that’s exactly what happened. And that got me excited. You know, if I was able to bring transformation to my marriage, you know, not me, but Christ was able to bring transformation to my marriage. I wanted all the people to have the same blessing.
SPEAKER 01 :
Tell us, you know, when did you start realizing, boy, this is not just a smooth, easy path and that you needed to Have God’s direction in your marriage. You know, I know you’re a believer, right? So you knew Christ at that point. But where was it you realized, wow, I don’t have the answers here?
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, yeah, because, you know, we learn from Scripture and 1 Corinthians 13, God is love. And I remember reading 1 Corinthians 13 about God is, you know, love is patient, love is kind, love is all-forgiving. I said, that’s so hard. And that’s when I realized I can’t do this on my own. There’s no way I can love my way with that sacrificial love that, you know, God is pointing me out in 1 Corinthians 13, which is called agape love, sacrificial love. Then that’s when I realized if I’m not connected with Christ, I mean, everything’s going to be just like trying to do it on my own power, my own strength, and I’m going to feel miserable. And that’s what happened. Really, that’s what happened. I was failing miserably.
SPEAKER 01 :
So a little bit of trial and error, right? It’s like, yes, that didn’t work. So we’re speaking with Ricardo Flores and Ricardo is the director of marriage ministries at Somos Grace Church. It’s in Laredo, Texas. And so, Pastor, your book’s called Storm Proof. Not pastor, but director. A Storm-Proof Marriage, Why Listening and Following Jesus’ Teaching Matter in the Eye of the Storm. And you talk about the care model. Tell us what that is. What does that mean?
SPEAKER 02 :
All right. The care model are the principles that I teach through the book, Jesus’ principles to have a storm-proof marriage. So basically what these are, Those are the conduits of God’s grace. In other words, just think about it. The whole book talks about, I take you to the process of building a house as a metaphor of your marriage, okay? And think about the pillars. Can you have walls without pillars? Absolutely not. Can you have a roof without beams? Absolutely not. Okay, so in the same way, in John chapter 15, Jesus says, I am the vine, you are the branches. Without me, you cannot do anything. In other words, Jesus is the conduit of his grace to the branches of the nutrients that we need to produce fruit, love, peace, understanding, and so on. Well, in this example of the beams and the pillars are the conduits connected to Jesus. So without those, you’re going to build your house without beams, without pillars? It’s going to fall down when you have a storm hitting the house, your marriage.
SPEAKER 01 :
So one of those beams, give us an example. Would that be… The person’s walked, say the husband, saying, all right, I’ve got to walk closer to Jesus. Or do you look at it in a different way?
SPEAKER 02 :
Yes, you look at it in a different way. Exactly. When you’re walking close to Jesus, you’re going to understand that one of your roles as a husband is to provide coverage. What is it? Roof does, provides coverage, security for the house. In the same way, when Jesus says, you know, you’re meant to love your wife as I love the church. That’s providing coverage. That’s providing security. And that’s what women need. One of the needs of women are feeling affection, security, and a close relationship. And that’s what I try to teach to those pillars, to those beings, to be exact. In the same way, we are different from women, correct? and the woman uh the bible says you know just as we are meant to love our wives as christ love the church women are supposed to honor and respect their husbands so i teach those principles woman had to respect and honor the husband and i reached to the beams had to love and show affection as Christ loved the church. That’s the whole purpose.
SPEAKER 01 :
So Ricardo, this isn’t just a book for the guys. This is for the wives and the husbands to help bring them closer together, especially if there’s a storm, if there’s something really heavy happened in their marriage.
SPEAKER 02 :
Exactly. And that’s why I dedicate part of the chapters for husbands, even though I recommend for husbands and wives to read it together. and there’s at the end of this chapter there’s a section for questions and answers where they’re meant to get together and get feedback to understand each other when we come to marriage just think about it mike i mean we think we know our uh our fiancés and now to become our wives but tomorrow is sweet right we come to realize that we don’t right right not until you get married you realize oh
SPEAKER 01 :
Okay, I didn’t see that before, but okay, it’s cool.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yes, we are very different. And what I want to take espouses through this book is to understand each other, understand we’re different, and what does a man need from God’s perspective? What does a woman need from God’s perspective? And as we supply those needs through God’s grace, through being connected with Christ, then we can have a stone-proof marriage.
SPEAKER 01 :
So, Ricardo, what do you say to the couple that says, man, it’s broken, and I don’t know if we can get it back. I just don’t know if we can rekindle our marriage and get those pillars established.
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, I’m glad you asked that question, and I’ve got a comment here. from one of the couples that just read the book and provided our commentary. And it says, it saved our relationship, not exaggerating. This book came just at the right time. We were praying together again and communicating in ways we never did before. So yes, they were broken. They were going through struggles. They thought, you know, we’re headed for divorce. And they said, Well, this book, help us to save marriage Christ to the book, help us save our marriage. That’s awesome. Yes. So it doesn’t matter where we are. If we come back and put that foundation, we can have a strong relationship again.
SPEAKER 01 :
So storm proof marriage. How do people get the book Ricardo? Where do they go?
SPEAKER 02 :
All right, there’s a couple ways you can go, but basically you can do it on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or you can do it through my webpage, spmarriage.org, spmarriage.org. You can get it there. And something that I want to point out, Mike, is that one of the goals that I have as a minister is um is to get the word out that this book is could be an asset for marriage ministry at the church i want the leaders to get to know this book and read it and find out that it can be used in a small uh a small setting with different with you know a few couples like you know groups of five or six um and where couples can get together and you know read the read the chapter and then come next week and discuss this chapter and discuss the questions on the book so that’s the whole purpose that you know i come to realize one thing like a lot of people are some of them might be readers but some of them are not but But I figure out in those five, six years I’ve been doing this in Somos that if they’re in a program together, they’re kind of, you know, okay, I had to do it because there’s going to be other people there.
SPEAKER 01 :
Accountability, right? Accountability, yes. Just to say, okay, I’m in this. I have to do the work and the homework and participate. I do.
SPEAKER 02 :
Exactly. They get committed to each other, and that’s when they start really growing. because it helps them understand each other that they’re very different, and they have different needs.
SPEAKER 01 :
Well, a storm-proof marriage, the whole listening and following Jesus’ teaching, why that matters, especially in the eye of a storm, but also, too, when your marriage is going well, doing that work and still making sure you’re doing those things. That book is by Ricardo Flores. Ricardo is the Marriage Ministry Director at Selma’s Grace Church in Laredo. We got connected through some friends of ours, so we’re so glad we did. Ricardo, one more time, how do people get the book, and how do they connect with you if they have a question?
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah, they have a question, they can go to my webpage, spmarriage.org. And there they can order the books for the church online. or for themselves, or they can, if they have a question, and they can send me a text or email to the webpage, they can do that. Yes, they can connect with me.
SPEAKER 01 :
Perfect. And that’s spasandpaulmarriage.org, right?
SPEAKER 02 :
That is correct. I just want to end with something because you mentioned it twice. And it is why listening and following Jesus’ teachings matter in the eye of the storm. And I want to close with this because when we go into a storm, if we’re not connected with Jesus, you don’t have a strong foundation, what’s going to happen, we’re going to base our decisions based on emotion. You know, emotions are going to tell us, well, He doesn’t love you anymore. He doesn’t love you anymore. I don’t feel it, you know, and or other anger because it’s something, I don’t know, something rough happened between the two and you’re not going to make the right decision. That’s why it matters in the eye of the storm to be connected with Jesus because then you’re not going to make your decision based on emotion, but based on God’s word.
SPEAKER 01 :
Perfectly said, Ricardo. I don’t, as believers, you and I, I don’t know how you would do it and be in the storm of a marriage, those stormy times, but also even the good times without Christ. So I just, you know, that’s how we have to pray for others and people we know that are married and having difficulties. It’s sp, P as in Paul, spmarriage.org, spmarriage.org and Ricardo Flores. Ricardo, thanks for the time that you gave us today. We’re really grateful for that.
SPEAKER 02 :
Thank you, Mike. It was a pleasure talking to you. And I hope this interview helps other couples, you know, marriages to be grounded in Christ.
