Liz talks with Dr. Johnny Parker, bestselling author, leadership consultant, executive coach, and member of American Association of Christian Counselors about his new book, “Front Stage Back Stage: External Success Requires Internal Health.” What truly drives and sustains our purpose? How do we create stronger, more effective leaders? How can individuals maximize their life’s work while preserving well-being? True success begins when we align our outer success with a deep, inner foundation rooted in the nourishing love, joy, and vulnerability that comes from intimacy with Jesus and following His leadership model. AACC.net. Frontstagebackstage.com.
This is Liz Franzel with Crawford Media Group, and today our guest is Dr. Johnny Parker, board member of the American Association of Christian Counselors, and today we’re going to be talking about his new book titled Front Stage, Backstage, External Success Requires Internal Health. Johnny is also a seasoned executive performance coach, pastoral counselor, leadership consultant, and speaker to renowned organizations such as the NFL and the U.S. military. Welcome to our program, Dr. Parker.
SPEAKER 02 :
Thank you, Liz. Glad to be with you.
SPEAKER 01 :
Dr. Parker, tell us a little bit about AACC yourself and the role that you play there before we talk about your book.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah, AACC is the largest faith-based ministry organization that serves people in the world, mental health challenges, serves the church. And they also have ICCA, International Coaching Christian Association. And so they are the largest in serving in that space.
SPEAKER 01 :
And then you are a board member there, so are you part of what they do as far as are you coaching them? Do you have a branch where you’re able to do your coaching through them?
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah, I do. I provide a lot of videos to help prepare coaches, especially in the executive leadership space. And so my work with them has primarily been helping give leadership, helping to be that thought leader and expert in the arena of executive coaching and on the International Coaching Christian Association arm of what AACC does. So they’re both married together, and so I help to do that, and I speak at their conferences. They have a national conference, a mega world conference, And those conferences average thousands of people from all over the world.
SPEAKER 01 :
So you wrote a book called Front Stage, Back Stage. What do you mean by the title, External Success Requires Internal Health?
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, everyone’s life, Liz, is always telling a story. So we live on the front stage, as Shakespeare says, the world is the stage, and we live, we have our families, we have our careers, we have our businesses, we have ministries, we have organizations. That’s the external part, and those parts are important, churches, but the real work, is what powers the good work on the front stage, and that’s the backstage. That’s where the real story is being told. So that’s where I focus on, and I come into organizations helping them get clarity around who they are in their backstage. As Jesus says in Mark 8, 36, a prophet man, a woman, a leader, a coach, an executive, a pastor, to gain an amazing front stage but lose their soul in the backstage.
SPEAKER 01 :
So would you say that the backstage happens in childhood because of wrong leadership in company?
SPEAKER 02 :
The backstage happens because it’s the place, it’s a metaphor, obviously, and it’s the place of the heart and soul. And over a thousand times in the Bible, God refers to the heart and soul. So the backstage is where The person’s real life, real story gets written and emerges. Like oftentimes when I do my workshops, I ask people to draw a picture of a tree. I give them a minute. And often when they draw the tree, how many people draw them with roots, lids? Very few. They draw the front, they draw a tree with birds and oranges and apples. So they have all this fruit, literal fruit on the tree, but they don’t draw the roots because they say they don’t see them. But we all know in order for a tree to grow, to flourish, and for a fruit to really happen, we must go to the root of the backstage.
SPEAKER 01 :
So true. And then, you know, Psalm 23, you know, he lies us in green, walks us through quiet waters, lies us down in green pastures. He restores our soul. So I used to do inner healing work and that was a huge part of it is going back to dealing with soul wounds. And soul wounds, they can hide for a very long time, just like those tree roots you were talking about. And so you can’t hide it forever. Pretty soon they’re coming out in the physical, whether it be emotional. Mostly it’s emotional, but sometimes it’ll even manifest in the physical. So as far as when you’re coaching, what are you telling people? Let’s talk about individuals because I know you deal with a lot of organizations, big organizations. But because of our listeners probably are more likely individual, what would you tell individuals as far as like how to get their backstage healthy?
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah, we must first be really, really honest, transparent, and vulnerable with self. I’ve got to first look at me. I say all the time, healthy me, strong we. And so, for example, in the scriptures, David speaks to himself, his soul. He says, soul, why are you disturbed within me, hoping God? This is Psalm 42, 5. So I have to have transparency, vulnerability with self. Then I have to have transparency and vulnerability with God. Again, David says, pour out a prayer where God is telling David, encourage people to pour out their heart, their backstage before me at all times. And then, so we got to have transparency with self, transparency vulnerability with God, and a transparency of vulnerability with safe people. That’s where it gets really, really hard. And even that was my story. I was good on the front stage. I had snap back or pop. I did a lot of great things on the front stage, wrote a bestselling book and marriage 25 years ago. I’m speaking internationally. I’m on CNN. I’m on Fox. But I began to suffer with panic attacks and depression because I wasn’t good about transparency and vulnerability with emotionally safe people on my backstage. And so those are three things that I really emphasize with people. transparency, vulnerability with self, with God, and emotionally safe people. We must be willing to give an access pass to people who’ve earned the right to be in my backstage. I knew better. I just didn’t do better with that because of my own insecurities.
SPEAKER 01 :
That was one of my questions actually was to ask you, what about toxic people? What do you say to those that, you know, might have some toxic people in their lives?
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, obviously, those are not people who’ve earned the right to be in your backstage, so you do not want to grant them an access pass. You have to have people, like, for example, in my life today, I share with my parents, I share with my wife. I have four men every Wednesday at 4 o’clock. We ask the question, what’s the most important matter going on in your world that you need to be talking about? I didn’t for years. I did not do that. for years and so so with toxic people and you know what i find is 90 by 95 percent of our relationships are going to be front stage only about five percent earn the right to be in the backstage and jesus shows that jesus had the 12 but peter james and john were the ones who were privy to things that the other nine did not um that he did not share with So there’s something about that. We all need people, and studies show that we need emotionally safe people to be well. And Harvard studies show that to really live well, we need to have those people that we give an access pass to the backstage. But to your point, everyone does not get an access pass, especially toxic people because they’re not safe.
SPEAKER 01 :
Right. And that’s I’m glad you pointed out Jesus’s circles because that is, you know, he’s our example. And it’s so true. And I think Christians especially, you know, they’re taught love everybody. If you’re not loving and you don’t include everybody, then you’re not being a good Christian. You know what I mean? So I think that’s so important that you said that. And it is key to be very selective. Right. So my next question would be, is it self-talk or God talk? So what do you say about, you know, there’s a lot of things out there, talking up yourself, but there’s a lot to do, has to do. You’re bringing up a lot of scripture and Bible. What do you say to the masses on that one?
SPEAKER 02 :
I think it’s important that we do have identity talk. And my identity, to be well again, authentic identity is found, I believe, in the relationship with Jesus Christ. And so I need to have what I call in the book the Fab Five, Liz. So the Fab Five is, who am I? That’s my identity. For example, every day of my life, I affirm that in Jesus, I am the light of the world. In Jesus, I am the salt of the earth. In Jesus, I’m crowned with glory and honor. In Jesus, I’m no longer a slave to fear. I am a child of God, and every daughter, every woman listening, they’re a daughter of God. Every man is a son of God, a beloved son, not an orphan. So I have to sit with who am I, my identity. described by jesus and then the second question in tab five is what do i want we’re made for impact we’re made to let our light so shine before men and do good works and the third thing why do i want it that’s intent what’s the motivation of my heart is it love am i showing up to the world on the front stage for love or from love then i find a fourth question that’s important is this Who am I becoming? And that’s integrity. That none of us bump into better on the front stage or want the wellness. And so better and wellness happens intentionally. And then the fifth question is how do I want people to experience me on the front stage? So what we want is this. We want to do, we call it the do good work. We understand that. But the essence of what I’m saying in the book is this. What’s powering that good work? Is it fear? Is it shame? Is it anxiety? Which was what it was for me for years, and I find this true for many people. But what I believe Jesus is saying to us is this. Let love, joy, and vulnerability sustain, and let that power up the backstage to sustain the front stage works.
SPEAKER 01 :
And in all of that, going back to the self-talk or God-talk, are you saying, like, look at yourself in the mirror and say, this is who I am? Or not even necessarily in the mirror, but throughout the day, just kind of say, I am whatever.
SPEAKER 02 :
Absolutely. Because we don’t bump into that. We don’t wander into that. And so, again, we want to be intentional about throughout the day at 2.13 in the afternoon to affirm that. I’m a beloved son. I’m a beloved daughter. I’m crowned with glory and honor at 5.15 in the afternoon to take a deep breath and affirm. I call it spa. I need to have time to slow, to pause, and to affirm. And so that’s really important in terms of the self-talk or the story that we tell ourselves that the self-talk be rooted in who Jesus says we are.
SPEAKER 01 :
So good. We’re talking with Dr. Johnny Parker. Johnny is a seasoned executive coach, pastoral counselor, leadership consultant, and a speaker to renowned organizations such as the NFL and the U.S. military. Dr. Parker, where would our listeners go to learn more about AACC or get your book?
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, certainly they can go to aacc.net. and they’ll get everything, all the resources that AACC has to offer. And then to get the book, they want to go to frontstagebackstage.com. Go to frontstagebackstage.com. And, Liz, when people go to that website, frontstagebackstage, there is an amazing assessment that my 26-year-old son created. It takes three to five minutes to do, and it’s going to give you real feedback. Are you living primarily energy? and driven by the front stage and losing your soul on the backstage or winning in a healthy way in the backstage. So that assessment, people really want to go to frontstagebackstage.com and take that assessment. It takes only about three to five minutes, and it’s going to give them some incredible information about themselves.
SPEAKER 01 :
I encourage every one of our listeners to go out and get Dr. Parker’s book titled Front Stage Backstage, External Success Requires Internal Health. Dr. Parker, thank you so much for joining us today.
