Ep. 1631 – The Good News with Angie Austin – Dr. Cheryl Lentz / Nicole Hockley – New “Teddy Bear”

SPEAKER 02 : 0:00

Welcome to The Good News with Angie Austin. Now, with The Good News, here’s Angie.

SPEAKER 05 : 0:09

Hey there, friend. Angie Austin and Dr. Cheryl Lentz with The Good News. Dr. Cheryl Lentz, the academic entrepreneur. Hey, friend. How are you?

SPEAKER 06 : 0:18

Hi there. Good, good, good. Loving that spring is coming. I’m looking out my window and the plants are starting to see daylight. I like it.

SPEAKER 05 : 0:26

Oh, I love it. I love it. I love it. Okay, so I have these 40 questions that I worked on last week, and they’re just kind of life questions, but I thought they were super fun, and I’m really into our friend Jim Stovall’s golden list, and I’ve been doing it more regularly, the 10 things that you’re grateful for every day, and that really helps you appreciate life, because every time I’m on his list, he lets me know, and probably once a year, I make his list, and he said I was right below a crystal, which is really solid territory, he said, so… Yeah, I know. I love it. Okay. So I thought this was, I’m going to make this into a two part. So first, the first part of the question is, what do you want to remember forever? And it shows a sunset. And I think about one New Year’s Eve sitting with friends on a beach in California in Marina del Rey, right by Venice Beach, looking at a sunset thinking, I’ll remember this moment forever. And I’m sure there are other things. So while you’re answering, I’m going to think, what do you want to remember forever?

SPEAKER 06 : 1:27

Wow. I think I want to remember when my Siberian Husky, George, picked me for the first time. It was the most magical moment because he stood on his back legs. He put one of his paws on either side of my shoulders. And looked me right in the eye as if to say, yep, you’ll do. You’re my new mom. And as if that was just the decision that needed to be made. And he made it. And we took him home. And unfortunately, he died about six years later. He died young. But it was the most magical thing I’ve ever seen to connect to nature with the fact that I was being evaluated and found that I was good.

SPEAKER 05 : 2:04

Wow, that is so I love that. I love that. I mean, I think there’s like several like moments, you know, you remember, I remember once, shortly after my brother died, and it was like, there was a bad I mean, he was murdered. And there was just a bad experience that happened after that. And I remember just being in my condo in Marina Del Rey, it was right on the oceanfront, which that that wasn’t bad news. And I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I And no one was on the beach because it was a little bit stormy, but there was this like ray of light that was shining on this one lone guy walking on the beach. And my brother had done that painting of, you know, when Jesus talks about how, you know, you see two sets of footprints, but then you only see one.

SPEAKER 06 : 2:46

Oh, the footprints in the sand.

SPEAKER 05 : 2:47

Yes. And that he’s carrying you through the difficult, you know, part of your journey. And that’s why I only see one set of prints. And so he looked like that from a distance. You know, it looked like the one man walking in the sand. And my brother had done this painting. And after he was murdered, I did get some of his paintings. And that was one that I did that I received.

SPEAKER 04 : 3:05

I got two.

SPEAKER 05 : 3:07

Yeah, I got the chills because no one’s out there. It’s starting to rain already. The wind and the sand are blowing, but there is this stream of sunlight on this man that looked like the Jesus painting my brother had done. And I just felt a sense of peace, like that he was okay, that he was in heaven, like that moment, that picture, that visual, like I can really see in my mind. And so and that’s the whole feeling of like when you really know God is real, when you have that peace that surpasses all understanding. So I that’s that’s a cool one for me, I think, to remember for sure. OK, OK. And I’m going to change this. What do you want to be remembered for?

SPEAKER 06 : 3:45

Ah, that one’s easy because this is the legacy exercise you and I have talked about, you know, in terms of what you know, when you write your obituary, what are they going to say about you kind of a thing? I’d like to be remembered as the writer. I mean, the ability to be able to take the academic and have made a mark in the world that advanced society in some way, right? Somebody reads something, gets inspired and does something amazing. You know, that’s what I’d like to have my writing accomplished someday.

SPEAKER 05 : 4:11

You know, I was watching – there’s a lot of these interviews on Instagram, and that’s beautiful, by the way, what you just said. A lot of these videos on Instagram where they’re asking male athletes, like college athletes, or they were asking the Nuggets, like, who’s the most important person in your life? Or, you know, what do you want to – It was just amazing to me how much people love their mothers. Many people really love their moms. And they were talking about their moms or how often do you call your mom. Every day, I’m not ashamed. I call my mom every day or whatever. And just the love that many people have for their mothers. So I hope I’m remembered by my kids as being a good mom and that they know that I love them. But secondly, I think I… you know my big thing on forgiveness how i really feel like i’m a forgiveness ambassador and that i really want people to know that uh i i cared about and i could forgive but i also wanted others prompted others to forgive that’s very sweet in there that’s the contributing to the soul of the world i mean that’s beautiful Okay. What do you appreciate most about your current situation? What do you appreciate most about your current situation?

SPEAKER 06 : 5:29

That’s easy. I’m at the end of the life with my Siberian Husky and every day I get with her as a gift. And so we spend as much time as we can together. And today we were at the vet getting her a pain shot and She was so animated and having such a good day and just all kinds of kisses and hugs. And I’m like, that’s what I want to remember is the time that I made that magic happen for as long as we can.

SPEAKER 05 : 5:51

Oh, that’s awesome. I like that, you know, working from home and only working part time that I do get to spend a lot of time with my kids and I don’t miss any sporting event unless they’re at exactly the same time in different areas. I’m there for everyone. Any school event, any academic event, any sporting event, like I can do everything. I mean, we literally live like, you know, half a mile from the school. Like I can see it from our hill.

SPEAKER 06 : 6:17

Oh, that’s wonderful. That connection is really important in that foundation you’re building. Well done.

SPEAKER 05 : 6:22

Yeah, love that. Okay, what do you always look forward to? What do you always look forward to? Oh, we’re doing a family cruise next week. I love family vacations.

SPEAKER 06 : 6:34

Oh, nice. Good for you. I look forward to when I go to church, and this is going to be a little self-serving, but the church is because I love the pipe organ. And last Sunday in particular, I go and it’s great that church is there, but I will tell you, I go mostly for the music. And he was absolutely in rare form on Sunday. And it just lifts my spirits and makes me smile to have that incredible instrument. played so well by such a maestro that it was just, uh, I was joyful.

SPEAKER 05 : 7:05

Do you say anything to him when he does, when he plays like that?

SPEAKER 06 : 7:07

You know, I am one of the few that does stay after church when he does a little mini concert, you know, he’ll finish the last hymn in church and then we’ll play something after. And sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn’t, but I’m one of the few that I’m not in church praying. Quite frankly, I’m, In church, listening to that majestic instrument that he’s playing and hopefully that he feels appreciated. I often applaud when I leave. And I’ve talked and met him on a couple of occasions, but just that talent in his hands are just amazing.

SPEAKER 05 : 7:35

Oh, that’s why. Is it a Catholic church, by the way?

SPEAKER 04 : 7:37

It is. It is. St.

SPEAKER 06 : 7:39

Raphael’s.

SPEAKER 05 : 7:40

I figured that that would be an area where you would still be able to get an organ played like that, you know, because of the expense of the organ.

SPEAKER 06 : 7:48

It’s a mini cathedral, you know, but I know pipe organs are going the way of the dodo in favor of, innovation and less expensive options that supposedly sound that way. And I’m like, yeah, no, there’s no substitute for the real thing.

SPEAKER 05 : 8:00

Wow. What’s it? Yeah. So I say, yeah, for me, a lot of the family vacations are, um, this is an interesting one. What the world needs most right now, what the world needs most right now.

SPEAKER 06 : 8:15

That to me is easy kindness.

SPEAKER 05 : 8:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER 06 : 8:18

So many people are so angry about so much. that if we just dialed it back a little bit and smiled and understood that not everybody’s having an easy time with this, and wouldn’t it be great to be able to just smile and be a little bit more understanding and a little bit more patient, whether it’s driving, whether it’s the grocery store. I had three people hold the door for me the other day, and it was just at the Culver’s restaurant. And it was just so sweet that they went out of their way and people were trying just to be nice. And I’m like, that’s the way it should be.

SPEAKER 05 : 8:50

Yes. Yeah, I mean, you’re right. That isn’t as common as it used to be. I mean, it is. Wow. Okay. All right. What do you enjoy? Give me three things you really enjoy doing. I always think of when I think of kayaking and things like outdoorsy things, I think of you. That was my first one.

SPEAKER 06 : 9:13

I got to be on the water kayaking absolutely anything that has to do with the water excuse me with the water could be a ferry ride could be a boat ride could be just sitting by the water water has such a calming effect with me anything with live music and live musicians I’m going to a band Friday night and I’m always uplifted by the energy of not just a recording not just the radio but actually that energy in person when you have live musicians sharing their gift with the world And I guess the third one would be spending time with my little girl. Oh, your doggy. Yeah, exactly. It’s just that connection with, again, she’s a part of nature and she’s my little girl. It’s just magic when you connect because she loves me unconditionally, and she’s probably the only one in my world that will just, no matter what it is, mom can do no wrong. I kind of like that.

SPEAKER 05 : 10:04

Well, I really like that, too. I really look forward to family gym night. I look forward to hanging out in the backyard with all my pets. I even bring the cats out because they’ll go in when I tell them to go in, so it’s the two cats and the three dogs. You know, going to my kids’ tournaments, that’s always really fun because we usually turn it into some kind of family vacation. We’re doing Vegas and Salt Lake and Orlando.

SPEAKER 06 : 10:30

Wow, that’s crisscrossing the country.

SPEAKER 05 : 10:32

Yeah, and I did Anaheim with my son, so that one was fun, too. I mean, it was just he and I that time, so that was really fun that we got to, you know, spend time together. He stayed with the team, but I still got to spend a lot of time with him. And then, let’s see. Just time together as a family, that’s some of my favorite, like watching a movie together. We used to do family game night. Now that they’re a little older, we don’t do that as much as we used to, but since we do family gym night, I think that is right up there. Okay, happiness is a blank. Happiness is a blank.

SPEAKER 06 : 11:11

Happiness is time with my inner circle of friends, whomever they are, whenever they are. It’s a people thing. You just got to connect with others.

SPEAKER 05 : 11:19

Yeah, I would say that Harvard Happiness Project, it’s gone on for decades. They found that the largest indicator, most powerful indicator of happiness is connections, friendships, people, family. And so in the last year, I’ve taken it very seriously. And I’ve seen three of my best friends from high school, my cousins, all of my sister cousins, the ones that are like… you know, cousins that are more like sisters to me. I’ve seen all of them, and we’ll do get-togethers with this group of cousins. There’s like five of us.

SPEAKER 04 : 11:52

Oh, nice.

SPEAKER 05 : 11:53

Yeah, and our spouses or, you know, whomever, kids might come along, too, because they’re close to my… I have the youngest kids, so… Yeah, so I like that. I enjoy that. Okay, what’s something…

SPEAKER 06 : 12:05

positive and again if you’re listening you know join in what you know think about some of these things for yourself because it might brighten your day what’s something positive you try to keep in mind when negativity surrounds you oh what’s something positive I always value music and knowing that I can change my course just by changing my attitude so it’s always a if something’s not going right and it’s negative I’m always looking to music as the solution to lighten my soul

SPEAKER 04 : 12:35

I like that. What are you grateful for? What are you grateful for?

SPEAKER 06 : 12:42

Oh, goodness. I’m grateful for where I am. I know some people have done some, you know, I’ve been struggling with isolation and COVID and connection. And I know I’m grateful to be here. when I wasn’t sure that I still would be when I was back in high school. I never thought I’d make it past high school. So every day for me is a gift that I’m still here.

SPEAKER 04 : 13:05

Oh, high school was hard for you?

SPEAKER 06 : 13:07

No, it was I was really ill.

SPEAKER 04 : 13:10

Oh, I was going in there.

SPEAKER 06 : 13:11

And so the point was that they weren’t sure exactly some of those challenges because I went to the Mayo Clinic quite a bit. And they were just thinking I was I’ve been told three times in my life I was checking out. And so I had not had high hopes that I would live a long life. And so to me, it was like anything past high school was a gift.

SPEAKER 05 : 13:29

I love that. Oh, I forgot. What does the world mean more of? I think faith, like my Christian faith, our Christian faith does definitely, you know, give peace. All right. Dr. Cheryl Lentz dot com. Always fun friend to have you on the program. Thank you. Thank you. Have a good one.

SPEAKER 01 : 13:49

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SPEAKER 03 : 14:42

Arvada is listening to the Mighty 670 KLT Denver.

SPEAKER 05 : 14:51

Hello there, friend. Angie Austin here. You know, with three teens in high school in Colorado, I think a lot about school safety and wondering what can be done. I spend maybe too much time thinking about it, but every time I get an alert, I imagine the worst. I mean, I’m in the news business, for goodness sakes. So I have to admit that our school district is pretty good when it comes to mental health and keeping track of the kids. They started something new this year that’s pretty cool. And, you know, there are some signs that we should look for when it comes to school violence. And joining us to talk about school safety is Nicole Hockley. Nicole is co-founder and co-CEO of Sandy Hook Promise. Nicole lost her youngest son, Dylan, in his first grade classroom during the Sandy Hook Elementary School tragedy. And she works every day to protect children and help us recognize the signs of potential school violence. Thank you so much for joining us, Nicole.

SPEAKER 03 : 15:38

Angie, I appreciate it.

SPEAKER 05 : 15:39

You know, one time they called my house and said, your daughter’s not in school. And I know they think that I was cuckoo, but I said, OK, I work in the news business and this is what I do. I cover the worst days of people’s lives. And so I need you to go into her classroom and assure me she’s there. You can’t just leave a message that says, your daughter didn’t report to school today when I know she’s there. And something had happened in Colorado where a young girl had gone to school and they called the mother and said, hey, your daughter’s not here, but she worked overnights and didn’t get the message. And then her daughter ended up not being found. She was murdered. And so I lost a brother already. And so I cannot tell you how these calls… because of you know covering you know your families like yours how they send me like i know people think i’m kind of cuckoo but i made them go into her room with the phone and tell me she was there so um i have such a heart for you and and and i’ve worked so closely with people whose hearts have been broken and lives messed up that i really am so appreciative of you even taking the time to join us to talk about something that’s so difficult to discuss

SPEAKER 03 : 16:48

No, I appreciate that, Angie. And, you know, you’re not alone. And I know you have so much more exposure because of your role. But, I mean, nearly 40% of parents think about this possibility of a school shooting at school their kids go to every day. I mean, this is a really pervasive anxiety that’s affecting far too many of us. And this is why we need to take action to stop it.

SPEAKER 05 : 17:09

Well, tell us about the inspiration behind the – I’ve seen the PSA. It’s beautiful. The teddy bear in Sandy Hook Promises’ new PSA. Can you talk about that?

SPEAKER 03 : 17:19

Yes, thank you. So after the shooting at Sandy Hook School in December 2012, there were over 60,000 teddy bears that were sent to Newtown from people across the country that wanted to show their love and support, but also to show that they recognized the innocence and the childhood that was lost that day. So this year’s PSA from Sandy Hook Promise really centers around that notion that kids deserve to be kids, And teddy bears belong in children’s arms. They don’t deserve to be put at shrines and memorials in the aftermath of school shootings because we know school shootings are preventable. So we want parents and adults to watch this PSA, to realize that this is not the experience that they want for kids, and go to our website, SandyHookPromise.org, and learn how they can have a role in preventing school shootings and violence by learning warning signs, by talking to their kids, by bringing our programs to their schools and districts. and knowing that this is all about helping people and that gun violence and school shootings are absolutely preventable with something as simple as recognizing warning signs.

SPEAKER 05 : 18:23

Nick, can we talk about those warning signs? I know I mentioned at my children’s school they instituted something new this year, and I received this release in the email, and it said, you know, are you okay with your child going through this mental health screening? And so every kid was going to be screened unless we refused to have that offered them. Not only do they have counselors, but they have professional counseling that’s offered there, like, you know, through my insurance company, where right on site the kids can get counseling right at school, in between classes, et cetera. But at least with the screening, they have a better idea of, like, where kids stand in terms of depression. And what are some of the warning signs that we should be aware of when it comes to school violence or potential school violence?

SPEAKER 03 : 19:02

I mean, and just to say, that is great that your school is able to offer that. There’s so many schools that don’t have that access to counseling. services and mental health screening is so important to recognize when an individual might be at risk. The warning signs that we can teach our kids are also how to recognize these warning signs in someone else. This could be subtle signs such as suddenly withdrawing from friends and families and activities or experiencing chronic loneliness or social isolation, which can be a precursor to self-harm or violence. Expressing persistent thoughts of harming yourself or someone else Or they can be super overt threats. We get a lot of school shooter, would-be school shooters, who actually post on social media or tell other people, I am planning to do this at school. I mean, four out of five school shooters tell at least one other person of their plan before they take action. So bragging about access to weapons or guns, obsessively focused on obsession with other mass shooters or other school shooters, these are all warning signs that someone could be in crisis, that someone could be at risk of hurting themselves or someone else. and means you have to ask immediately, take it seriously, and say something so that an intervention can be made.

SPEAKER 05 : 20:12

And, you know, kids sometimes are so fearful of saying something. I’m glad that some of these schools have, you know, found a way to let the kids keep their anonymity and turn, you know, a concern in. They have something in our school district called Safe to Tell where even a parent, like I called in the other day when this kid was like a wacko in the classroom, in the parking lot just completely unsafe almost getting in a few accidents so no one knows it’s you and any kid can call in and say they’re concerned about another kid and then they’re not fearful of getting you know some kind of retribution from students that found out that they narked on them because you know how that they they’re not allowed to do that yeah we do a lot of role playing in our training of say something in the anonymous reporting system because

SPEAKER 03 : 20:53

This is saying something. We want to ensure kids know that this isn’t about snitching or knocking or getting someone else in trouble. This is saying something to get someone’s help. So that nuance is incredibly important. But having an anonymous reporting system like Sandy Hook Promises or like Safe to Tell or like many other states that we support or states that have their own programs, these are super important ways for kids to feel safe, that they can report concerns, and tips or threats and know that someone is going to take that seriously and do something about it.

SPEAKER 05 : 21:25

And, you know, Nicole, we talk about, you know, our own anxiety and fears, but these kids, too, are really fearful. When we do have lockdowns, I get texts, you know, from the kids inside the school. They’re terrified as well.

SPEAKER 03 : 21:37

Yeah, they are. I mean, since Sandy Hook, we’ve seen not only an escalation in school shootings, but also in things like active shooter drills where we’re basically training kids for what to do in the event that a school shooter comes to their school. So this is not normal for kids. And we have traumatized an entire generation to be in fear. And that will continue for quite some time. So we’ll really focus now on how do we continue to teach kids the warning signs, give them back control and feeling safe within their schools, homes, and communities by learning warning signs and taking action to prevent violence. Because we don’t want to be practicing for when violence happens, we want to be practicing to prevent it. And that’s what we do at Sandy Hook Promise. We’ve had tremendous success with this, both in terms of the number of kids that we’ve trained across the country, currently around 31 million, but also in terms of the interventions we’ve made, several thousand mental health interventions, over 700 confirmed lives saved from suicide. And just in this last month, we stopped our 18th planned school shooting a test as a direct result of the training that we did in schools. So this program and these warning signs and recognizing and taking action absolutely works.

SPEAKER 05 : 22:53

And, you know, Nicole, after losing your son, obviously you have a mission now and you’ve saved so many other children’s lives. And I’m sure that has been satisfying that you have been able to make a difference with your group. What’s your hope and your vision for the future?

SPEAKER 03 : 23:11

Well, we’re not going to stop until school shootings are a thing of our past and no longer a part of our present. I do this to honor my son that died. I do it to protect the future for my son that survived. I do this for your children, for everyone else’s children and grandchildren, because that’s what they deserve. So our vision, our hope, and the reality that we intend to deliver is a world where our kids are safe from school shootings and other forms of violence in their schools, homes, and communities. And it’s possible because we can all take part in making that happen.

SPEAKER 05 : 23:45

Have other parents whose children went to Sandy Hook also gotten involved with you?

SPEAKER 03 : 23:50

Yes. So Mark Barden, whose son Daniel was killed in first grade as well. He is my co-CEO and other co-founder. Bill Sherlock, whose wife Mary was a school psychologist and one of the first adults killed is on our board. And we have others that support us as well. And many of the other families have done their own other ways of honoring the person that they lost. But this is important to Mark and myself and Bill and our growing organization. We have over 140 employees across the United States solely focused on bringing these programs and sensible policy solutions to everyone across the country so that we can prevent these acts from happening. Our goal is to ideally put ourselves out of business. I love that. We’re going to keep doing that until school shootings stop for sure.

SPEAKER 05 : 24:42

Okay. When you talk about the training, you know, for the kids, et cetera, how do we get more information and find out if, you know, if we can get our kids a training or get any of this into our own schools?

SPEAKER 03 : 24:52

Absolutely. And thank you for asking that. It’s such an easy thing to do. You just go to SandyHookPromise.org. You can learn about the warning signs and have resources and materials on how to have these conversations with your children, but also how to bring our free training programs to your school and community so that they can be trained across the entire district. You can also go to SandyHookPromise.org forward slash teddy bear to watch our latest PSA and share it out because it is powerful stuff, as you said, and hopefully inspires a lot of people to take action.

SPEAKER 05 : 25:23

Well, thank you, Nicole, for all you’re doing to help others. And what a way to honor your son, Dylan. And just thank you for helping us with our kids as well.

SPEAKER 03 : 25:30

Thank you, Angie. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER 05 : 25:32

You bet. Well, you know, I really do appreciate Nicole joining us. And, you know, when you’ve lost a son in a tragedy like that, to then devote your life to, in his honor, to make a difference, to train other kids and to look for warning signs and to work with schools on safety and mental health. As I mentioned, our school instituted that mental health program, and I think it’s been so helpful. And I know in two cases, each of my girls had noticed something going on with a friend and knew some specifics and decided to go ahead and use that line to help them. And in one case, I really think it was a life-saving call. It really did make a difference in the girl’s life to have You know, others come around her and that intervention, I think, really helped her get the help that she needed. So I think it’s really great for all of us to have our eyes open. And even if you make a call and it ends up not being an issue that, you know, was worthy of a call. If you don’t know, I think it’s better to call the safe to tell line in our case. You know, that’s what ours is called. you know, to make sure these kids get the help they need when it comes to warning signs, mental health, you know, and I can’t believe how many shootings that they’ve stopped just because of that program, you know, or school violence, I guess they call it. Okay, so I wanted to just share one good news story with you, and it involves a school, per se, a bus driver in Kentucky, Louisville. We’re getting ready to go there in a few months for a big tournament program. I love the South. And this little boy Levi was crying when Larry Farish Jr., the bus driver, stopped at his stop. And normally he has a huge smile on his face. But this day, Levi was crying and had his hood over his head, covering his face. And he said, hey, buddy, what’s wrong? Turned out that it’s pajama day. It was pajama day at Englehardt Elementary School. But Levi didn’t have any pajamas. So he was going to miss out on all the pajama day fun. And so he told this bus driver his predicament and then he went to the back of the bus and kind of hid away by himself. He was really sad to not have any pajamas on pajama day. And so the bus driver, Larry, said, you know, I’ve got to fix this. So he went to the Family Dollar store and got two pairs of pajamas and then showed up at school. And when Levi saw him, he was so surprised. He said, he said, I were you were hurting this morning. You were crying. So I got you these pajamas. And a little boy, Levi, was so excited. You could see his face just lit up and he hugged him and he said now he was doing a happy cry. And so it’s they’re so cute. It’s like all star football pajamas, you know, that he’s wearing with a huge smile on his face. And the school put it up on their Facebook page. And then, of course, it got shared from there. Just a little sweet gesture that just said that boy will never forget the kindness of Larry, the bus driver. All right, you’re listening to The Good News with Angie Austin. Some heavy topics today, but thank you so much for making a difference and for caring and for listening to The Good News.

SPEAKER 02 : 28:23

Thank you for listening to The Good News with Angie Austin on AM670 KLTT.