The Widow Chose Red: A Journey of Love, Faith, and Survival

SPEAKER 01 : 0:00

Welcome to The Good News with Angie Austin. Now, with The Good News, here’s Angie.

SPEAKER 05 : 0:08

Hey there, friend. Angie Austin here with The Good News, speaking with Rachel Kirschneider, The Widow Chose Red, My Journey with Jesus, John, and ALS. Her sons were 10 and 14 when her husband, John, husband of 21 years, was diagnosed with ALS. He was in his late 40s, and her faith really got her through this. And, you know, there’s something really interesting in your book that I thought you should share in addition to your faith. I know you didn’t tell your boys right away about the diagnosis that your husband had this fatal illness. And at 10 and 14, I can understand that. How long did you wait and why did you wait?

SPEAKER 03 : 0:46

We chose to wait about a year, Angie, because John was not, to the naked eye, John was not that symptomatic. You had to look really closely to see that. His foot was dropped and his gait was off. So the boys, you know, they didn’t really see anything. About a year later, and we needed time to fortify ourselves. There’s so much shock there. Imagine if you were given the diagnosis you’ve got two to five years to live. What would you do? How does that even compute? You have a disease of which there is no cure. There’s no option. There’s no treatment. There’s nothing. You just really manage the progression and wait to die. We needed, John and I, John and I needed some time to figure out how to process this and kind of get our heads around it. We only told our immediate family, which, you know, lived, mine was in Australia, his was in California. So, because we knew too, Angie, you know, good news travels fast, bad news travels faster. And we knew the minute that we told those boys that, You know, they’d be telling their friends, my dad’s been diagnosed with this thing, ALS. And we knew that the tsunami would start. So we had to make sure that we could fortify ourselves. And so it was interesting. About a year later, John was getting more symptomatic. They could tell something was wrong with dad. And we sat them down. And there were three questions that my youngest son, Jake, asked. And the first one was, dad, are you going to be in a wheelchair? And he answered yes. And then, Dad, are you going to get out of the wheelchair? And John said, probably not. And then Jake asked, are you going to get better? And it was at that moment that my husband just fell apart. And I said, you know what? You know what, boys? We serve a great God, and he can make Daddy better. And we are going to pray every night that he does. But in the meantime, our job is to take care of Daddy. as best as we can. And that was all we said, Angie. We did not, you know, daddy’s going to die and da-da-da-da-da. No. We didn’t lie to them, but we didn’t throw up on them either with all of this other information. Now, also remember, too, at this time, the Internet didn’t exist. Social media didn’t exist like it does now. So the boys, they didn’t have access to all of that, which was a blessing, an absolute blessing. But sure enough, within 15 minutes, I got a text. Rachel, Sam says, John told him, John’s got, are you sure about this? And I said, yes. And I got, you know, the OMG back. And then, you know, and then it was like wildfire, right?

SPEAKER 01 : 3:41

Right.

SPEAKER 03 : 3:42

So we found ourselves actually trying to comfort some of our friends because, you know, because it is a shock. We’d had a little more time, but it was still a difficult thing to do, no doubt.

SPEAKER 05 : 3:57

Now, so you had moved 15 times in seven years with your husband of 21 years. You were in Minnesota at the time, and obviously you hadn’t lived in places very long if you moved that many times for his job. You’re with all these wonderful Minnesota nice people, and you end up staying there even though you hadn’t been that entrenched in the community, and they just completely embraced you. You know, in terms of your relationship with your sons and their faith, talk a little bit about how they handled this diagnosis. And then I really want to get into, you know, the title of the book to the widow chose red. So let’s start with the boys, their faith and their journey, because I’m sure that was extremely painful for you.

SPEAKER 03 : 4:38

It was it was difficult. And and I think the hardest thing for us as parents, right, is when we don’t have the answers. They’re asking questions. Why does this happen? Why is daddy sick? Did God make daddy sick? You know, these are the kinds of things that you just kind of go, okay, let’s sit down and talk about that. And also framing it in a way when you’re 10 and 14, there are different places in what they can comprehend as well. And so, you know, but we were very faith-based, very faith-based family. You know, the boy’s went through confirmation. We had been in church all of their lives. But it’s also about bringing home a concept that may be somewhat abstract and making it real, right? And so I think they were able to watch their dad and I have our own conversations in prayer time with Jesus and pour out our hearts. And, you know, we model that for our kids. They see what we do. They pick up on every little thing. And, you know, even now, you know, even now my boys are like, Mom, you are like completely sold out for Jesus. Do you think you want to be an influencer? I said, yes, I want to influence people for Jesus. That’s what I want to do. And, you know, but they have both gone through their own struggles as they’ve grown up, and they’ve dealt with their grief very differently now. And even today, though, I can see in their struggles and how they’ve handled it, their own reliance on their belief and knowing that He never leaves us. He never leaves us. We may feel alone. We may feel isolated. We may have questions, but He is always there with us no matter what. And even though we may not get the outcome that we want… when we want it. You know, I remember a pastor telling me, Rachel, you have to be prepared. John may not get healed on this side. It may happen on the other side. And, you know, I very clearly said, well, you know, miracles still happen every day, and I’m trusting that. And I did for a very, very long time, Andy. But I’ve never once, you know, I’ve never once been mad at God. Like, why did you do this to me? My question, why not? You know, I mean, why not? So Obviously, I’ve waited a while to share this story because I had to go and raise my boys after John died. And being a single mom with two young boys, that’ll be the second book. But I chose to wear red because red is the color of love. It’s the color of passion. And it is also the color of fire, which is represented in the flame of the Holy Spirit. And one of my goals is to remind each and every one of us about the supernatural power that has been gifted inside of each one of us, which is the power of the Holy Spirit. which I believe so many of us forget that we have and that we can call upon when we are in those moments of crisis and have no idea what to pray for, what to ask for, how to do it. That’s when we can say, okay, Holy Spirit, you take over. Please intercede for me.

SPEAKER 05 : 8:01

You know, I just… A lot of it I can’t even wrap my head around, so I can see why you waited to write it, but I can see why you wrote The Widow Chose Red, My Journey with Jesus, John and ALS, because you told me that the Lord was so real to you and such. I don’t even know how people get through things like this without their faith.

SPEAKER 03 : 8:23

Exactly. Exactly. I wonder the same thing myself. And here’s the thing too, Angie, because even as believers, we struggle. We struggle.

SPEAKER 01 : 8:32

We do.

SPEAKER 03 : 8:33

And God never promised us an easy time of it. I mean, all I have to do is remember what Jesus went through on that cross for our behalf. Who are we to think that we’re going to get through this world unscathed? Really? You know, but it’s all about how do we then, what do we do? What do we do with this? And how do we embrace it? Which sounds really weird, but it’s true. Because, you know, I don’t believe that God made John sick. But I do believe that he allows us to be tested. Look at Job. Look how Job was tested. Look what was taken and done to him. And yet, he remained faithful. He remained faithful to his God and still managed to give him all the glory. So I really want to encourage and inspire anyone who is finding themselves in a hard place. And we may not just get one. We may have to do this a couple of times. But what I know is that when you are faced with something this difficult and when you get to the end of the rope and think, I can’t hang on anymore, that’s when you cling to him and say, okay. I am surrendering it to you completely and totally. I have nowhere else to go. I don’t know how to do this. You are going to have to step in and be with me and show me how.

SPEAKER 05 : 10:00

You know, on the cover of the book, you’re wearing red and you’re with your sons in their suits. Is that actually the day of the funeral? Is that the photo that you took that day?

SPEAKER 03 : 10:10

Absolutely. Absolutely. My sister took that photo on the spur of the moment. We were walking outside of the front door. I’ve had people ask me if that’s been photoshopped. No. Did I drop the two boys in? No. And both of the boys are actually wearing one of their father’s ties. So they may look a little large, but yes, that was the actual photo right before we were headed to the church that day.

SPEAKER 05 : 10:33

And you’re smiling. The boys aren’t smiling, but you’re smiling and you’re wearing red. What did that celebration of life look like to you rather than like a traditional funeral and you wearing red for love and red for the Holy Spirit?

SPEAKER 03 : 10:48

You know, first of all, because they were the ages that they were, we had 600 people there and a lot of kids, a lot of kids. The boys, Jake’s football team, they were all in their jerseys. John’s lacrosse team, they were all in it. There was such solidarity with the community and all of these kids. So it was kid-friendly. I’d had parents go, is there going to be a body lane? I said no. John was cremated, photos, flowers. And the boys actually were part of the service. They recited a beautiful poem called The Dash. We had wristbands made with John’s name on it that said, live your dash. So everyone was able to wear those. And then the boys wanted to have the reception. We had one right after the service. They wanted to serve pizza. So we had pizza because that’s what the boys wanted. And then later that evening, we had a more formal, well, a celebration of life party for John. That was more like what their dad would want it. But anyway, But it was a beautiful, and I will tell you, there are QR codes in the book where you can actually log into and watch the boys recite that poem. I had the presence of mind enough, Angie, to hire a videographer to be there to record it, because I knew I wouldn’t remember it right, and I wanted these boys to be able to hear the stories about their father, not only at the Celebration of Life services, but also at the party afterwards so they can hear people to this day talk about their father. Yes. Yes. And so we also had Pastor Greg, who baptized both of the boys, he was able to fly in from Chicago and be a part of of this service as well. He’s a big part of our story. I think your readers will find it interesting how we met him as a young married couple. We reconnected with him. We started out in King of Prussia, Pennsylvania. We reconnected in Chicago, and then he actually You know, it was part of a service for John’s younger brother who had passed 10 years earlier and then came back and did John’s service as well.

SPEAKER 05 : 13:03

Well, I want to have you back on the show because there’s so much more to your story. The Widow Chose Red, My Journey with Jesus, John and ALS, Rachel Kirsch Schneider. Do you have a website that you can give us?

SPEAKER 03 : 13:15

I do. It is spiritedprosperity.com. You can also go to thewidowchosered.com and order the book directly there. It is on Amazon, too, and proceeds from the sale of the book will benefit the Live Like Lou Foundation.

SPEAKER 05 : 13:33

Oh, thank you, Rachel. We’ll talk to you hopefully next week.

SPEAKER 03 : 13:37

Thank you, Angie. Take care. Godspeed. Godspeed.

SPEAKER 02 : 13:45

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SPEAKER 01 : 14:39

Elizabeth is dialed in to the mighty 670.

SPEAKER 05 : 14:48

Hey there, it’s Angie Austin and Jim Stovall with The Good News, and today we’re talking about his Winner’s Wisdom column, Going Back to the Well. And Jim, I have to tell you, my mom’s going back to your well because she’s reading another one of your new books that I just received, and it’s a compilation of your columns.

SPEAKER 04 : 15:04

Well, fantastic. Yeah, I’m not even keeping up with that like I should because I wrote six books last year, and they’re all kind of coming out a little at a time, so… I’m glad to know that. But this column came initially from my friend and colleague, B.B. King, one of the great blues musicians of all time. And when my Ultimate Gift book was turned into a movie, they let me work on the music. I mean, somebody in… 20th Century Fox said, let the blind guy do the music. So, you know, I got Bob Dylan and B.B. King and Willie Nelson, Patsy Cline, Aaron Copland, put together just a really cool soundtrack. Well, but what I didn’t understand is that when they first put together a movie, they do a rough track. And it’s just something so that people can watch. And you cannot watch a movie without music. It’s just horrible.

SPEAKER 05 : 16:04

That’s so true. Yeah.

SPEAKER 04 : 16:06

Yeah, so they just pulled music and put it in there. Well, they put this B.B. King song, A Thrill Is Gone, in there, and it was great. Well, then I found out where they were going to put something else in, and I called and said, look, man, I cannot see that scene without that. We’ve got to have that. And they said, Jim, that’s very, very expensive. Finally, the producer called me and said, said, when’s your birthday? And I told him, he said, I’m giving you B.B. King for your birthday. And if you watch The Ultimate Gift now off of Netflix or wherever you get films, right there’s a great scene with B.B. King doing that. Well, I got to meet him, and then I went to New York for his 80th birthday. And, you know, and it was amazing because just to see all the people that were fans of this guy. And then he had a guy, Hubert, who had been his – a band director for many, many years, handled the horns and the orchestra and everything. And, you know, I stayed in touch with Hubert after that, and I said, you know, how’s the old band doing? Because B.B. King died at age 89 getting ready to do another show. He did 200 shows that year. And I said, how’s the old guy holding up? And he said, you know, he struggles a little here and there. And he said, I always keep my eye over my shoulder on him, make sure he’s okay. But he said that every three or four nights or once a week, it’ll happen. We’ll be playing somewhere and the old man will just come out and the guitar is screaming and he’s just an old himself. And everything’s amazing. And I’ll look over my shoulder, and one of the young guys will be there. Eric Clapton will be there. Or, you know, or Carlos Santana sitting there on the front row watching him. And the old man just puts on a show then. And, you know, it was fun. But when I asked B.B. King who really… you know, inspired you. And he said, oh, all the young guys and everybody else inspires me. But he said, there are times you just got to go back to the well. And I said, what do you mean? And he said, well, everybody that does what I do, we were all inspired by a guy. They’re recorded in the early 1930s, Robert Johnson. And he said, so we all go back to that at some point and do that. And I thought, what an amazing thing, because we have a tendency in our information age to build on things, to build on things, to build on things. And maybe you’re reading, you know, biblical commentary. Maybe you’re listening to someone’s idea of the news. But every once in a while, man, if you don’t want to get tripped up, You’ve got to go back to the original and see what somebody said. And, Ange, you know, you’ve been in news. Today, so many things you’ll say, someone will be reporting that someone else is reporting what a guy said. And then, you know, they check with each other and, oh, yeah, we have three sources on this, but they’re all quoting the same thing, and you don’t really know what you got. So every once in a while… It’s good, whether you’re getting inspired or informed, to go all the way back to the well and get some pure information.

SPEAKER 05 : 19:02

You know, when you talk about going back to the well, for instance, the work of John Steinbeck that you mentioned in your article, what is it that some of these people have that is so inspirational? Because you said you’re keenly aware that only a handful of writers have ever risen to the level of Steinbeck, and same with B.B. King, right, in his genre. Yeah. And you see how they inspired others. So tell me what they have that’s so special, or in particular John Steinbeck or somebody of that stature or status.

SPEAKER 04 : 19:35

Well, the sixth book I wrote last year was sort of a sequel to a Steinbeck book he wrote 60-something years ago. And Because of that, I read everything he had written and a lot of his compiled letters. I had read what Ernest Hemingway and F. Scott Fitzgerald had said about him. Of course, he won the Pulitzer Prize, and in the ultimate, he won the Nobel Prize for Literature. You know, when you look at the people that he inspired, and then I go back and read his stuff, it’s what I would imagine it would look like if you were an aspiring sculptor to look at Michelangelo’s David. I mean, Steinbeck’s prose is just immaculate. He is just so, so, so good. And… uh you know and you know when hemingway admires him and fitzgerald and and uh carl sandberg and some of the most amazing writers of the 20th century you know you gotta you gotta look at this guy what is it about that but he also you know he was read by very common people a lot of people had to read his grapes of wrath when they were in high school or east of eden or of mice and men and uh They still hold up. They’re amazingly well-written, and they’re just good stories. And so that’s what intrigued me so much, and I learned so much about the craft of writing from guys like him. And you just, you know, every once in a while, you can read all the modern guys and everything else, and then you just, you know, I’m going back to Ernest Hemingway or Scott Fitzgerald, or in this case, John Steinbeck.

SPEAKER 05 : 21:13

You’ve been in TV for more than 30 years, and you talk about your TV, your writing, your movies. You’re dipping into so many wells here. What do you want your readers to take away from going back to the well?

SPEAKER 04 : 21:31

One of the things I learned from TV, and you remember this back in the day, before everything was digital, it was analog. And every time you made an edit, you lost a generation. And you’re making a copy of a copy of a copy. And even with that broadcast tape, you know, you could get down four or five generations. But then, if you’re going to mess with this anymore, you better go back to the master and lay down a new track. It’s kind of that thing. But… You know, I think it’s good to keep in touch with the cutting edge stuff. But from time to time, you need to go back and see what inspired everybody. And that’s, you know, what I really want people to understand, you know, in my field of personal development. You go back and you read Napoleon Hill because virtually everyone since his time has. Almost 100 years ago, almost everybody quotes him. He influenced everybody, so it’s good to go back and see what made the difference. I think that’s an important thing to realize.

SPEAKER 05 : 22:32

I love that example because I forgot that every time you would do an edit with the old stuff that you’d lose a little bit of quality. All right. Since we did miss one week, Time Machine. That’s your next column, the most recent one. So tell us what you’re teaching us in the column Time Machine.

SPEAKER 04 : 22:51

Well, I think here in Western civilization and here in America, we have a tendency to to be really scattered all the time. We’re distracted, we’re scattered, and some of the Asian philosophies and some of those people, they’re more focused than we are because some of them don’t have as many distractions as we have, or whatever the case may be. But success comes when you have a compelling… driving force and you get total focus on it and so many people today they’re distracted with whatever’s on their phone at any given moment but then when they get down to do something they’re feeling you know they’re worried about well i i didn’t handle that very good yesterday or last year i’m guilty about this i should have done that instead of this or they’re worried about something in the future that may or may not ever happen you know hey i haven’t got my taxes done yet i got to do that i got to pick up junior from the uh for the wrestling and I got to go here. And I, And they’re never really totally focused in the moment. And if you’re going to succeed at the highest possible level, you’ve got to bring all your energy to that thing you’re doing right now. And I always go back to my late great friend and mentor, Coach John Wooden. He said, before you do anything, great or small, no matter what, phone call, meeting, undertake any task before you start, ask yourself one simple question. What would I do right now if I were amazing? And And boy, that idea really brings to bear the idea that I need to be in the moment. I need to be totally focused on this conversation I’m having right now with Angie Austin. Doesn’t matter what happened last hour. Doesn’t matter what I’m going to do after this interview. What matters right now is bringing the best I got to this project right now. And if you can do that with everything you do, you’re going to be an amazing success.

SPEAKER 05 : 24:48

What would I do right now if I were really amazing? I think it’s over a decade now that you and I have been radio friends. And finally, I think I’m going to meet you in person in May. But of that over a decade, you’ve told me that at least five times. You’ve used that example. What would I do right now or what would I do next if I were truly amazing? And I’ve thought about that many times over the years because it can really make a difference in your next move, your next interaction, your next experience. interaction at work, your next project you’re working on, your next move while you’re on vacation with a group of friends, meeting new people, experiencing new things. You could not only have a positive influence on your own life, but you can really have a positive influence on others around you. And I think we can think about examples of people that positively influence us and negatively influence us or have very little or no influence on us that are just kind of a wet noodle, you know, just kind of like, like, you know, interacting with like a grapefruit, nothing special, not great, you know, not bad, just kind of meh. So if you put that in your mind, what would I do next if I were truly amazing? It can really make a huge difference in the quality of your life and those around you.

SPEAKER 04 : 26:06

Yeah, you know, we’ve all been at a party or at a business function where you’re meeting and greeting different people, and we’ve all met that wet noodle guy that you were mentioning that, you know, frankly, he’s not paying any attention to me at all. He’s looking around the room to see, now, where’s the important guy I can meet? But I’ve had the opportunity to interact with several presidents, and, you know, they have – and great politicians, great business people – they have the ability to meet – Hundreds and hundreds of people in a line. And for that six seconds, they make everybody feel like you’re the most important person in the world. And I saw them do that. And when I do book signings now or after an arena event when I meet and greet people, I stay totally in the moment. Because for this man or woman or this young person right here, This is the one moment I’m going to have. I’ll probably never see them again. They’ll probably never see me again. And, you know, if I’m distracted or I’m not paying attention or I’m yelling at somebody else or whatever, I mean, you totally ruin their motive. That six seconds is their moment. You know, I remember one of the things that when I studied Harry Truman and I wrote a novel, including him as kind of a character in the novel, and I went back and reread some of his stuff. And when you’re the president, you have a guy that schedules every moment of every day. And he’d gotten behind because the ambassador from somewhere went long, and the scheduler said, we’re going to scrap the Eagle Scouts from Iowa and tell them we can’t do that, and then we’ll move on to the meeting with the Supreme Court aide. And the president said, no, absolutely wrong. We’re meeting with the Eagle Scouts from Iowa, and we’re going to get the photo, and I’m going to shake their hands, because these young people will tell their grandchildren that about this 10 minutes they spent with the president. And if we don’t have 10 minutes for that, we don’t deserve the right to do anything else here. Tell the Supreme Court guy to hold on and we’ll be there. But, you know, he understood the power of the moment and staying in the moment. And that’s what really matters.

SPEAKER 05 : 28:12

You know, I get so much out of talking to you. Jim Stovall dot com. We’re out of time. Thank you, my friend.

SPEAKER 01 : 28:19

Thank you for listening to the good news with Angie Austin on AM 670 KLTT.