Teaching Wisdom and Reverence: A Parenting Journey

SPEAKER 01 : 0:01

Welcome to The Good News with Angie Austin. Now, with The Good News, here’s Angie.

SPEAKER 05 : 0:09

Hello there, friend. Angie Austin and Grace Fox with The Good News today. We often talk about one of her books, Finding Hope in Crisis, Devotion for Calm and Chaos. And how many books do you have now out, Grace, or coming out soon?

SPEAKER 04 : 0:24

Yeah, when the new one comes out July 7th, that will be number 16. That one’s called Names of God Growing Strong.

SPEAKER 05 : 0:33

I love it. Well, I wanted to talk about something different today because we’ve gotten to know each other fairly well over the last few years, and I hear a lot about your kids and your grandkids and your ministry work, your husband’s work as well, and then your writing as And I family is so important to you and you have such great kids and grandkids. And, you know, I just wanted to know more about how you and your husband raised them, because I’m always interested. So I think each family has kind of like a family creed, like the things they stand for. My husband always talks to my kid about grit and hard work and investing and education. I talk to them about things like treating others as you’d like to be treated and trying to be patient with people and realizing that there are a lot of people out there that are a lot different than we are. That doesn’t make them any better or any worse, but we have to be accepting of others and open-minded to others. And those are some of the things off the top of my head that, you know, come off and integrity that come off as, you know, what we’ve wanted to teach our kids. And I was curious because you have such a wonderful family life with your children and grandchildren. What you and your husband wanted your kids to learn in life as you were raising them and is now as you’re influencing your grandchildren as well.

SPEAKER 04 : 1:48

Yeah, that’s a really good question, Angie. So thanks for asking that. We had several things that we really wanted our kids to learn. One that came back to me that I think I prayed the most when they were small and growing up at home was that they would fear the Lord. And that doesn’t mean they’re scared of him, you know, thinking he’s the guy that’s up there looking to watch everything they do so that he can catch them doing wrong. But it means to reverence him, to give him the reverence that he’s due. Respect even. Yeah, it is. That’s exactly what it is. To fear him is to respect him because of who he is. And it’s a healthy thing. It’s not a, oh no, like Adam and Eve ran from God because they were afraid of him after they sinned in the Garden of Eden. It’s not that. It’s a reverential awe, if you want to even put it that way, of him. And scripture says that that is the beginning of wisdom. So to me as a mom with three little ones, I kept thinking if my kids can grow up fearing the Lord in that healthy way, then they will be wise. And if they’re wise, that means they’re going to make wise choices. So when they’re faced with temptation, they will choose faith. The wise thing to do when they’re faced with tough friendships at school. Yes. A bully, maybe they’re going to choose the wise thing to do. And the older they get, the more those decisions become difficult. Life-changing, life-altering, you know. It’s one thing to choose what you’re going to wear to school, but it’s another thing to choose who you’re going to marry or what career you’re going to pursue or where you’re going to go to university or whatever. But that was fear the Lord, you know, because that’s the beginning of wisdom. And then I remember, I don’t remember the verse, the reference right now, but I do remember coming across a verse in Scripture that talked about the secret of the Lord is for those who fear him. And when I read that, it just confirmed in my heart, I want that for my kids more than anything else because the secret of the Lord, what is that? Except intimacy, because you’re not going to confide in somebody and have that kind of a relationship with somebody that you don’t trust or that you don’t know.

SPEAKER 05 : 4:16

Right, right.

SPEAKER 04 : 4:17

That implies intimacy. And if they can be intimate

SPEAKER 05 : 4:24

walk with him and oh my goodness the blessings that would come their way promised in scripture would just be mind-boggling and that that was the number one thing that I would pray for my kids you know my kids are all Christian and my husband’s not as active you know as the rest of us are but it’s interesting to me that they they’re all Christians and did you lose me

SPEAKER 04 : 4:53

Can you hear that?

SPEAKER 05 : 4:54

No, I can’t hear anything. No, no, no problem. Good, good.

SPEAKER 04 : 4:57

That was my alarm.

SPEAKER 05 : 4:59

Oh, yeah, no, no, no, no problem. So they’re all Christians, and they talk to their dad a lot about their faith and about science and this, that, and the other. Their dad loves science and the universe. And what’s interesting is I’m not the more overpowering personality. He’s Italian, likes to debate, likes to argue, likes to present his points, likes to be right. And I have no problem if someone thinks they’re right and that I’m not or like letting them feel like, okay, all right, I got you on that. I understand how you feel that way. But when it comes to my faith, I’m pretty unwavering. And so I just love it that all the kids are Christian. One of my daughters is going to her Christian camp again this summer up in Canada, interestingly enough. And yeah, Malibu. I was like Malibu. And then she said in Canada. I think that’s what she told me the location is. Yeah.

SPEAKER 04 : 5:49

Yeah, I know where that is.

SPEAKER 05 : 5:51

Oh, she’s beyond excited. She said that that camp is the best week of her life, and they don’t use their phones, and they don’t miss it, and they are involved in all kinds of Christian activities, and it’s the best week of her life. She loves it. And then my other daughter is going to a Christian college for a volleyball scholarship, and so that’s really important to her. And then my son in college goes to Young Life up at his university, and And so all of them actively on their own independently of me are pursuing their own faith. And, you know, and their dad’s just not as active and all that. So it’s been interesting. I’ve had that influence on them quietly. And then they all lean in my direction with their politics, which I can already tell. I mean, they’re between, you know, one’s almost a senior in high school and then the other two are in college. So I pretty much, you know, know where they stand. But they don’t really talk about it a lot with their dad because their dad’s very opinionated about politics and talks about it a lot. And I told him, I’m like, it’s not really a good idea to argue or debate anything with your dad when it comes to politics. So just let that one go, you know. And so, yeah, I’ve had a lot more quiet influence, I would say, on the kids and their faith because that definitely, I guess I would say I was the spiritual leader. Maybe he was the leader in many, many other things, but in that arena, it was me.

SPEAKER 04 : 7:13

Mm-hmm. Yeah. There are things like that, too, that I think we have to teach our kids to respect. I mean, you’re teaching your kids to respect somebody else’s opinion even though it doesn’t match theirs, which is so important. Otherwise, you end up with division in families and work relationships and whatever. But, yeah. Something else that I… Yeah, go ahead. No, no. I was going to say another… some of the verses I used to pray God’s word for my kids and I still do. But, um, for instance, some of the ones that I prayed most when I was, when I was still at home and they were still at home and little were out of the Proverbs and Proverbs chapter two and chapter three. I just grabbed my Bible as we were talking here and I flipped open. Um, chapter three, verse one says, my child, never forget the things I have taught you. Store my commands in your heart. Um, for they will give you a long and satisfying life. Never let loyalty and kindness get away from you. Wear them like a necklace. Write them deep within your heart. Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will gain a good reputation. So those verses, I used to pray for my kids when they were small, that they would bind kindness and loyalty around their neck like a necklace. In other words, like a favorite necklace. I wear a little necklace that came from my mom. It’s just a little droplet, you know, a little fake pearl on the center of this thing. But I wear it all the time. I don’t take it off at night even. I just wear it all the time. Unless I put a different kind of necklace on for a different outfit, then I’ll take it off. But when I come back home after that speaking event, you know, I’ll put this one back on. And that’s the kind of thing like, wow, God, you know, teach my kids to wear kindness at all times. Like, don’t take it off. Always demonstrate kindness to other people. And it talks about that. Then you’ll find favor with both God and them. And gain a good reputation.

SPEAKER 05 : 9:13

Yeah. Give us those two verses again. I like to write it down.

SPEAKER 04 : 9:16

That’s a Proverbs chapter three and it’s actually versus you can say one to four.

SPEAKER 05 : 9:23

Okay. I love it. I just think that, you know, for the kids to remember to be kind. And I’m pretty impressed the majority of the time. One of my kids is a little too involved in, like, drama. You know, it’s funny. She called me every day, and she goes, you know, we have this group of friends. And another group of friends told me, well, they were talking about your blah, blah, blah. And so I called one of the friends, and I said, were you guys talking about my blah, blah, blah? And she said, no, we weren’t. And she goes, well, I heard from so-and-so you were talking about my blah, blah, blah. And then she said, well, don’t tell the other girls. So then she gets a phone call. hi, it’s one of the other girls, and I just heard that you heard that we were talking about your blah, blah, blah, and we weren’t talking about your blah, blah, blah, and then she goes, oh, I told her not to tell you about the blah, blah, blah, and then the next one calls and says, hi, yeah, I heard that you said that we were talking about your blah, blah, blah, but we weren’t, and yeah, and we weren’t, and so then Faith called, pardon me, Hope, it was hope hope calls me and she goes well and they all called up and they all told each other and i told them not to tell each other something i called the first one i said i told you not to tell her that i called you to see if they were talking about blah blah blah and um i said hope You cannot trust teenage girls to keep a secret and not talk about the blah, blah, blah or whatever, right? You can trust your mom. That’s who you trust right now in your life. They’re 18. They’re freshmen. This is just a time in your life where maybe you just keep out of some of that drama. My husband and I in the news business, we would never share things at our place of work. So the news business, I mean, come on, everybody’s sharing news. They’re gossiping, right? I’m sure that’s at every office. So my husband and I would only talk about, like, our contracts, our grievances, our issues, anything to do with work, only with each other, because we worked at the same station. We wouldn’t talk with anybody else, because the minute you talk with your contract, what you were getting paid, when it was up, if you had a contract extension, anything. Like, someone wants your job, right? So why would you give them that information? So… I said it’s kind of the same thing. Like at this point, you know, like you just talk to your mom, and then later on you can expand your circle as you get a little bit older and you have trusted friends. But right now there aren’t that many. And the reason I say mom and not mom and dad is because we all know in the family that dad will say something in front of all the other kids. He doesn’t mean to, but he’ll be like, remember last week when you told me you fell in the mud and lost your expensive shoes, and I said I’d go ahead and pay for them again. Well, and then the other kids are like, what? You paid for another pair of shoes. She was careless. He doesn’t mean to give it away, but every time he’ll bring it up in front of the other kids, and I’ll say to him, like, privately, I’m like, you should not be talking about the kids in front of the other kids, especially if the third one’s gone, right? And he’s talking to two of them about the other one. I’m like, we do not do that.

SPEAKER 04 : 12:14

Mm-hmm. Yeah, and then we’ve got to teach our kids, too, about keeping our mouth shut or speaking when it’s appropriate.

SPEAKER 05 : 12:24

Yes, it’s so hard to sometimes keep your mouth shut when you just want to spout off, especially in anger. You know, that toothpaste trick. They use little kids that you can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube, so you squeeze it out and try to get it back in. And those are your words when you have anger. And we all can learn from that because it’s rare that I spout off when I’m angry, but it still happens.

SPEAKER 04 : 12:45

Well, I’m teaching our kids, too. The other analogy would be a feather pillow. If you were to slice a feather pillow open and just push, you know, do that with it in the air, feathers are going to go everywhere. You can’t pick up those feathers and stick them back in the pillow. I love that visual. Right?

SPEAKER 05 : 13:03

Yeah, I love that visual. That’s a good one, because I’m just imagining picking them up, and they’re blowing, and they’re sticking, and they’re going all over. Oh, speaking of which, I just want to throw this out there. Every year, we have a light by our front door, and speaking of feathers, and I’m too short to see on top of the light, but there’s a nest there every year, and the robin comes back, and she makes her nest and fixes it all up on top of the light, but there’s probably some warmth from it, too, but it’s literally at our front door, like, I’m inches from the eggs as I step out my front door. Anyway, my husband yesterday said there’s four Robin’s eggs in there. It’s so much fun to have them chirping, you know, right by the front door. I’m so excited.

SPEAKER 04 : 13:43

Speaking of that… Yeah, that’s really neat. That’s neat. Down at the marina, we used to have starlings. They had little nests that were built on. There were little teeny bird houses that somebody had put on the pilings. And so as the tide would come in and go out, sometimes it was like a 10-foot tide there, a difference from, you know, one tide to the next. So sometimes we’d step off the boat onto the dock, and the piling was way up there, and we could only see the bottom part of the birdhouse. But if there was a really high tide, then, you know, the dock would rise up the side of the piling. And sometimes we’d step off the dock and we could look right at the birdhouse and see if there was anything in there. But we would hear them chirping early in the morning. Four in the morning is when they start to chirp in the summertime. That’s really fun.

SPEAKER 05 : 14:34

I love the birds. All right. GraceFox.com. Thank you, friends. All right. Have a good day.

SPEAKER 02 : 14:44

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SPEAKER 04 : 15:37

Edgewater is tuned to the mighty 670 KLT.

SPEAKER 05 : 15:47

Hello, it’s Angie Austin here with the Good News, and I am joined by one of my new favorites, Rachel Kirschneider. Her book is The Widow Chose Red, My Journey with Jesus, John, and ALS. And we’re actually talking about something a little bit different this time. Rather than just the book, we’ve decided we’re going to talk about some life topics as well, as moms, and now Rachel’s a grandmother, and as, you know, Christians. And so, first of all, welcome back, Rachel.

SPEAKER 03 : 16:15

Thanks, Angie. Always good to be with you.

SPEAKER 05 : 16:18

Now, you raised the two boys by yourself after your husband, John, passed away from ALS, and then now your grandmother. But one thing you mentioned to me was how many times you moved while your husband, before he got sick with ALS, how many times you moved and went to new cities and states and all over the place, like France. like every year for years, and I thought, well, how on earth did you make friends and get your kids acclimated? Because I find, Rachel, that it’s more difficult at our age to make friends. You know, it was different when the kids were young. You had, you know, parent groups or mommy groups or ballet class or, you know, different sports teams, and you all congregated each week to bring the snack boxes and all the food. You know, your boys were in sports. To get older, you don’t have those outlets to make friends anymore, and you had to make new friends every year.

SPEAKER 03 : 17:10

Angie, you’re absolutely right. And I think, too, the other part of it is as we get older, and I know I’m a little ahead of you in the process, our friendship requirements change, right? What we want from friends, what we need from friends, what we’re looking for in a friend relationship changes because we’ve evolved along the way. And I think that, you know, we want to get to the heart of the matter sometimes. We really want to get to know somebody. And I think sometimes, as we all know, that can take some time, and yet sometimes We want to get there a little more quickly because it’s just one of the ways that we can connect on a deeper level. And I think our faith is one of the ways that we can do that by exploring that part of a person earlier. I know that it’s given me a way to have something to bond over and to talk about more quickly with some women than others.

SPEAKER 05 : 18:13

Now, it’s funny because I told you the minute that we started talking at our first interview, I’m like, oh, I know we’d be friends. Like, you’re automatically the kind of friend I would look for, like a Christian mom, similar values. You’ve got a great sense of humor. I love women from the South because you’re really friendly. And I told you the other day when you said, oh, another friend. So this asked me about the same thing about making friends. you know, when you’re older and how it’s more difficult. And I said that you had an advantage built in because you’re from the South. And I really mean that because there’s that built in like friendliness. There’s that Southern hospitality. There’s that warmth. You know, a lot of Southerners are Christians for that matter. And so there’s like this built in commonality that a lot of people in the South have. But even when they go to other parts of the country, I feel that they are warm and welcoming.

SPEAKER 03 : 19:02

You know, Angie, it’s great that you mentioned that because I’ve never really thought about it until you said that. And I think, yes, there’s a whole element of truth in that because I was brought up to just, you know, I talk about Jesus all the time. It’s a huge piece of how I was raised. But it’s interesting, too, because I have lived on the East Coast and I’ve lived on the West Coast and I’ve lived a lot of places in between. And what I have found is that people are somewhat surprised. I guess would be the right word, when I want to say grace in the middle of a crowded restaurant, when I want to bless the meal. They look at me like, you’re really going to do this? And I’ve been doing it my whole life. So it feels very comfortable to me. I’m like, well, of course. We’re going to take a minute and thank Jesus for our meal. And it didn’t occur to me until I got married and started moving all over the place that that doesn’t happen everywhere. It really doesn’t. But you make a very good point. And I think it’s just part of how I was raised that, you know, I always looked at marriage. Meeting people is an opportunity to make a new friend, to learn more about them, to just kind of, you know, get to know them in a very authentic way. And you’re right. That’s a southern – I mean, my parents have taken it to the extreme. They now live in Australia. How much more farther south can you get? Yes. But it’s the same – But you’re absolutely right, and I never really thought about it. And part of that, too, I think, Angie, is I’m just a little naive, right? I just thought everybody, like, did this. It never occurred to me that people didn’t do these things or talk about Jesus the way that I did when I was growing up.

SPEAKER 05 : 20:59

You know, and also the fact that, you know, in the South, you’re in the Bible Belt. And people who live down there, I’ve told them, okay, first of all, my daughter received seven scholarship offers for volleyball. And a lot of them were closer to us. And at first she’s like, well, you know, I want to go someplace closer, you know, to Denver. And I was really leaning already towards Tennessee because my daughter teaches Bible study there. at her high school she’s just now graduated but teaches bible study and the only people that go on the volleyball teams are the younger kids no one on her varsity team of 16 girls went to the bible study and so she was at least the only active like christian on the team or outspoken christian on the team and there might have been other christians but it wasn’t something that they were going to get up early and you know go to starbucks and get up at 6 a.m to go meet her there to do bible study but some of the younger kids did And I thought, what a refreshing experience it would be for her to be around an entire team of Christian girls because they vetted us before they even brought her out to try out for the team. And the assistant coach is a pastor, so he interviews you first. And then later on he said, Angie, you may have figured out that we’re really vetting. It’s a private Christian school. We’re vetting the girls before we bring them out to try out with the team to see if they’re Christian faith would mesh with our girls. And so once we passed the Christian test, we went out there and I could not believe it. I think I told you this. When we went to church with the team, we drove our own car and we arrived at the church first. It was about half an hour away. and uh they had planned a big lunch for all of us where all the community members you know in this like side barn thing had you know made um pulled pork and brownies and all these delicious things and then the church members and the pastor and the pastor’s mom and dad and the pastor’s sisters and brothers they’re all serving us right so we really got to chatting with them but when the girls got off the bus they were all in dresses with their bibles and a pen and i’m like it wasn’t a requirement that they wear a dress and bring their Bible and a pen. And then we did breakout sessions with older women from the church. So I thought, well, they’re not going to say a word. They’re going to be terrified to talk in front of these old ladies. Oh, no. Oh, no, they weren’t afraid at all. They were giving their opinions, speaking out about their faith. And there were widows in the group who were talking about how the church helped them, like, after their husband died and da-da-da-da. And I couldn’t – I was blown away. So Hope did not want to go to that school when we arrived. Three days later, when the coaches pulled her aside to talk to her at that church in a separate room – She said, Coach, I have to tell you, when I came here, I 100% did not want to be this far away from my mom, mostly me, my mom and dad. But I 100% this is my number one choice now. And I knew that she would be so thrilled with being in that Bible Belt environment and being around other Christians and having that because I love it. I gravitate towards it. I’ve lived a few times short stints in the South. And so I and I put I told my husband, I’m like, do not. And it was also the best scholarship. It was a full tuition scholarship, right? So I told my husband, though, I said, do not try to sway her because we do not want her to go here or feel like we’re pushing her here. So do not say a word about trying to sway her to go here because it has to be her decision. And I was so thrilled when she decided. And I knew that it was that environment of being in that Christian environment.

SPEAKER 03 : 24:33

Absolutely. And, Angie, that’s it. I mean, community and to be able to have that safety and to know that you can speak freely and that all of these gals are going to make this journey together and their faith is going to be fortified throughout it. And it doesn’t mean that they’re not going to encumber situations that are going to be difficult, but they are going to be able to be there for each other and strengthen their belief system and and be able to support one another as they go through this process. And look at how wonderful that this community has already modeled having these older women to be able to mentor these younger women. I think that that is such a key component for all of us. No matter what stage of life we are in, it’s to be able to find those other those other women who maybe are a little bit further ahead of us in the journey can speak from a different perspective and can also speak to how their faith journey has evolved and grown through their life journey. That’s wonderful, Angie.

SPEAKER 05 : 25:44

And I think I may have kind of answered my own question about forming friendships when you’re older. I have a ton of news friends in Los Angeles. I was actually supposed to be there right now. About 10 of them were having a pool party for me because one of my girlfriends had She’s redone her pool from way back when, when I lived there. She redid it, and she said, I’m going to have a party for you to christen my pool, so let’s invite your friends. And a lot of them have been in my wedding and blah, blah, blah. So I made friends with them over our business before I had kids when we would work together, right? Well, now, I guess the answer to my question about making friends at this age, you – you have a camaraderie in being sisters in Christ. So going to church, attending church events, finding like-minded women, joining the church walking group, whatever, those are easier ways, I think, to forge a friendship, to create bonds with women our age.

SPEAKER 03 : 26:38

I agree. I agree wholeheartedly. And realizing, too, that there will be You know, it’s a process, right? I mean, it’s going to take a minute or two to find those gals that you really want to go a little bit deeper with. But it’s a great starting place. And I know for me personally, that has been a way for me to find community in all of the relocations that I experienced before. You know, that community and women are great at getting together. And, you know, whether it’s Bible study or whether it’s, you know, a walk or a retreat, whatever it is. As you said, Angie, we make certain sets of friends in different periods of our life. They come to us in different ways and avenues. And so now because we, you know, the kids are in different places and our work life is different. We’re going to have to get, you know, we have to get a little more creative sometimes about how we go out and intentionally find those relationships.

SPEAKER 05 : 27:48

Yes, intentionally find them. And you know what? Also, I found, like listening right now, one of my best friends over the last 20-some-odd years, it’s funny because we’ve worked together now I think four times, but she runs the station in Colorado, Colorado’s Christian Station, that they produce my show every day. And so every day I send her my show along with my producer, Luke, and I think – fostering those friendships that are meaningful that you had when you’re younger. Now, since she and I became friends, I got married and had the three kids. She’s single. And so our lives changed somewhat, but she never stopped attempting to reach out to me. spend time with me make the effort to come to my house if I was too busy to meet her so I think making sure like look back like even today might be a good day look back on a friendship that meant something to you and that you’re thinking wow I really like that person but maybe our lives are going in different directions and I haven’t reached out to her in a while I still want that friendship and she was great so why why try to make a new friend which you could do that as well But let’s grab some of those old friends we really like that we’ve maybe lost touch with. And I’ve been doing that back in Los Angeles. And I even found my best friend from high school and got to see her. That Harvard happiness study that’s been going on for decades and decades says that the biggest indicator, the largest indicator of best indicator of happiness is connections, family, friendships. So that is so meaningful to me. All right, Rachel, of course, we ran out of time like we always do when we talk. Give us your website.

SPEAKER 03 : 29:26

My website is spiritedprosperity.com. I want to help women put the eye back in their spirit.

SPEAKER 05 : 29:32

Aw, thank you, friend.

SPEAKER 03 : 29:35

Angie, it’s been a blast. I can’t wait until we get to do it again.

SPEAKER 05 : 29:38

Me too.

SPEAKER 01 : 29:39

Thank you for listening to The Good News with Angie Austin on AM670 KLTT.