Rebecca St. James and Cubby Fink share their inspiring personal and spiritual voyage on Family Talk. Learn about Rebecca’s renowned musical career, Cubby’s adventurous mission trips, and how their paths converged through faith and love. This insightful conversation blends stories of overcoming adversity, the healing power of music, and the essence of true love found in divine timing. Don’t miss how their commitment and creativity shine through in their latest book.
Well, hello, everyone. I’m James Dobson, and you’re listening to Family Talk, a listener-supported ministry. In fact, thank you so much for being part of that support for James Dobson Family Institute.
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, welcome to Family Talk, the broadcast division of the Dr. James Dobson Family Institute. I’m Roger Marsh, your co-host for the day, and we have a couple of special guests in studio with us. As Christians, we have a unique story to tell of the faithfulness and grace of the Lord in our lives, how he moved and provided in unimaginable ways. Our guests today here on Family Talk have been on a unique journey, both individually and as a married couple, one that has taken them through mountaintops and low valleys with a little bit of music along the way. Our guests are Rebecca St. James and her husband, Cubby Fink. Now, you probably know Rebecca and are aware of her musical career that has literally spanned decades. She’s best known for her songs, Wait For Me. Breathe, and God of Wonders. And in addition, she’s also an author of a dozen books, and she’s also an accomplished actress. Cubby Fink is a founding member of the Grammy-nominated indie pop band called Foster the People. He’s also a successful film producer and director, and his most recent production endeavor is the phenomenal film called Unsung Hero, which features the family of his wife, Rebecca. We’ll talk about that a little bit later on. Cubby and Rebecca have written a memoir together called Lasting Ever, Faith, Music, Family, and Being Found by True Love, and we’ll be discussing that today as well. They have three children and make their home in Nashville, Tennessee. Rebecca St. James Cubby Fink, welcome to Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk. Dr. Dobson and his wife Shirley send you their warmest regards, and we understand that that warmth is well appreciated since Nashville is so cold right now.
SPEAKER 03 :
Oh, give them ours as well. Thank you, Roger. Thank you for that wonderful intro.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yes. You know, this is a great book. And some people heard me in the intro say the book is called Lasting Ever. And I thought, well, now maybe you might want to call it Happily Ever After. How did you come up with the title Lasting Ever?
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, I love that you’ve asked about that. And it is a little bit of a twist on Everlasting and Happily Ever After. And I think when we were talking about the book and kind of our story, we were just very cognizant of the fact that people long for Their dreams to come true in life. They long for the fairy tale. They long for this happily ever after. And then acknowledging that, you know, Scripture says that in this world you will have trouble. Like we are promised this. We’re not promised that things are going to be perfect. We’re not promised this exact thing. happily ever after that that we dream of but we are promised that he will never leave us and he will never forsake us and that he is good and he is faithful and he can take all the circumstances of our lives and bring beauty and goodness out of it and so we really want to write a book that um that talked about the joy and the wonder and the loveliness of marriage and walking with Jesus, and also talked about the challenges that God then redeems and brings good from and closer connection to Him and to each other in marriage and family life, and He can do that. And so it’s really a book of hope. That’s what we wanted to write. But the title teases all of that, and I love that you highlighted that.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah, Lasting Ever, Faith Music, Family and Being Found by True Love. And Cubby, in the book, I love the way it’s written because it’s your story. It’s her story. You weave them together. You guys are both really excellent writers. Was this a labor of love for you? I mean, because let’s be honest. Your music is coming first, so wouldn’t expect you to be great writers. But you’re really good writers, too. I mean, that’s just you. Renaissance couple. Oh, my goodness. What was it like for you, Cubby, saying, let’s put all this stuff together? She’s writing hers. I’m writing mine. How do we tell this story?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, I mean, it’s rare, if ever, that you’re forced to reflect on your own life to the degree that you have to to write a memoir. So the process was incredibly unique and far more therapeutic. Yeah. cathartic, redemptive healing. It was all of those things in ways that I wasn’t even anticipating and the ways that the Lord has already worked just through the process of writing and conversations that it’s led to. And just the healing that I’ve seen without even the book being out yet has just kind of been mind-boggling. But the actual writing process, yeah, labor of love would be a good way to put it, but really enjoyable. I mean, writing is something I’ve always enjoyed and have never really had dedicated time to devote to it. And every season of my life, probably just this undergirding desire of, I wish I had more time to just sit down and write. And a lot of it is just the discipline of doing it. So suddenly we were presented with this opportunity to write a book. And even the book process itself, I mean, we had toyed with the idea early in marriage of, you know, maybe at one point it might be fun to write a book. But I think in both of our minds, it’s like, well… It’s probably a little further down the track when we’re older and wiser and have more to say. But it was actually one of the producers of Unsung that approached us and just said, hey, guys, you have a story that I think can encourage a lot of people. And so that got the wheel spinning and we prayed about it and just felt like, yeah, maybe this is the time to do it. So in the midst of all the crazy in our lives, we were very intentional about carving out some time and just… putting some words on the page. And we worked with a couple of ghostwriters that helped us organize. I mean, we had probably 75, 80 hours of interviews that we sat down and recorded with them. And so just trying to organize that was quite a feat. I mean, it’s really like a puzzle of figuring out how the pieces fit together to paint some sort of picture that means something. But, yeah, I mean, it’s something that I really enjoyed and look forward to doing more in the future for sure.
SPEAKER 02 :
Rebecca, one of the things I noticed in reading this book was it felt, you mentioned, kind of cathartic to have this kind of experience. And I’m sure there are a lot of couples who are saying, well, we couldn’t sit down and write a book anymore. You know, about our marriage, but maybe it would be kind of healing. But talk about how this season in life for you, you know, wife, mom, you got three kids now. This is something you’d always wanted. And yet many of our listeners know you from the fact that you are musical. Covey mentioned Unsung, of course, the movie Unsung Hero about the Von Trapp, I mean, small bone family. Talk about how music just kind of, it started to happen for you. It was kind of an organic calling from God, natural and supernatural all at the same time.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, it really was. I moved to the US when I was 14 and the film documents that. And then my family lived by faith for that first couple of years of living here in the US, which really gave me a testimony at, you know, starting my first album at 15 and going full time at 16. People were questioning a little bit if I had something to say, but because I’ve You know, living by faith as a family and seeing God do miracles provisionally for our family when we first moved to the U.S., I did have a story and I had something to write about.
SPEAKER 02 :
And if I can interrupt just to add a little emphasis to what you were talking about, when you talk about living by faith, here’s this family with all these children and your dad didn’t have a job necessarily. I mean, things that were supposed to happen didn’t. And you really were praying every day, you know, that God would be needs. It was that deep.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, and it’s interesting because the beginning of Unsung Hero, it says, this is a true story. It doesn’t say this is based on a true story. And it’s because pretty much every detail is true. Some of it’s slightly exaggerated, but it’s so true. And so we were like sitting on the floor in this furniture-less rental house, praying for a car and money and food and everything that we needed. And my sister to be able to be born in a hospital because we didn’t have insurance and things like this. We saw these needs being met, you know, a homeschool family giving us our keys to their brand new van and groceries dropped on the doorstep and, you know, truckloads of furniture at our house and all these things. Checks come in the mail that would cover bills by dollars. And so it was amazing living through that. And it was amazing last year to see. have this movie come out and I’m seeing this girl who looks almost identical to me at that time in my life play me and see your story play out on the big screen. But seeing families too, being encouraged to trust God in prayer and to pray together and be very specific in prayer. And I’ve heard countless stories of people with tears in their eyes saying that that film was really a moment for their family of trusting God in a new way. And so I’m really thankful that we went through that time. And I’m thankful for how God then led me into music. And, you know, here in Nashville, just partnered us with the right people and the right record label and for such a time as this, you know, to share about his good news through music. So it was definitely a God thing on all those levels.
SPEAKER 02 :
And I love the fact that you still look back on that with fondness. I mean, it’s not a lot of hardship. I mean, you went through it, but it’s still, those are good memories.
SPEAKER 03 :
They are good memories. And I think a lot of that is really because of how my parents handled it. Like now being a parent of three children, I’m amazed at how they were able to carry such a traumatic experience of being on the other side of the world with no family or friends to fall back on and really trusting God to the level that… I don’t remember feeling like my parents are scared. I don’t remember feeling like they’re in crisis. I just remember that… We knew that we didn’t have much of anything and we knew that we needed to trust God. And then we knew He was coming through for us. And we knew that we needed to work too. We were cleaning houses and babysitting and raking lawns and pulling together as a family. But there was a peace. There was a peace on our home that really speaks to the trust that my parents had in God that really still witnesses to me today. Yeah.
SPEAKER 02 :
I love that. Rebecca St. James and her husband, Cubby Finker, the authors of the brand-new book called Lasting Ever, which is just now out. Rebecca had such an unusual, to most of us, upbringing. Cubby, the unusual part in your world starts with your name. Does your birth certificate actually say Cubby Finker? Give us the story of how Cubby came into existence. Go ahead.
SPEAKER 04 :
Sadly, no, but it probably should because the name originated at birth. I mean, a lot of people think it stems from Jacob, which is my real name, Jacob Cubby, but that’s actually more of a coincidence than a reality because the genesis of the name came from my father, who’s got a knack for giving people nicknames that stick. Most of my friends growing up, most of his friends in his world all have lovingly received a nickname from him. And sure enough, I… Was introduced to the world and came out with a full head of hair, and my dad thought I looked like a bear cub when I was born. Oh, man. So he started calling me Cub, which turned into Cubby, and it stuck. It did.
SPEAKER 02 :
It did. It’s wonderful. Now, this is going to sound superficial, but Rebecca, when you guys first met, were you thinking, okay, this guy’s great, but Cubby?
SPEAKER 03 :
No, I remember being on the car ride over with two of his closest friends and having not met him. And we were all going over to an event in LA that he was at. And they had literally not told me about him up until that point. And I think they were trying to be like, trying to not be like heavy handed about the fact that they thought this could be like a match made in heaven. And so they were trying to be real chill about it. But they said, yeah, you’re going to meet this one of our best friends. He’s like the best guy we know. And you know, and his name is Cubby Fink. And I literally remember thinking, I love that name. It’s so creative and so different and so unique. And I was intrigued, you know, even more just based on his name. So anyway, I love it.
SPEAKER 02 :
I think it’s great. Now, Rebecca’s had the journey from Australia to Nashville. Cubby, you had some international travel, too, that you talk about in the book Lasting Ever that really kind of there was a youth pastor who got you kind of on fire for the Lord. And then there was a trip outside the country that really kind of helped solidify some things for you. Talk about that mission trip. I mean, and what it was like to say, I’m going to go for a little while. And it turns out to be a lot longer than that.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, yeah. I mean, it’s quite a story that I dive in pretty deep on the details of the book. And that season of my life living overseas in South Africa on the mission field was so foundational to who I am today. So much of… Of the man I am is because of that season and what I saw God do and just the faith growing things that I walked through and just seeing miracles and revivals and all these things that were just undeniably orchestrated by the power of the Holy Spirit. So I walked away from that experience just radically changed, but also with such a beautiful foundation of faith. Yeah. And it was a trip that I got involved with. I was volunteering at the youth group that I grew up in at the time. It was about a year after high school. I was focusing on music. We were in a band looking to move to LA to chase that whole thing. And then God kind of interjected in himself by way of a guy that was sharing about this two-week outreach to South Africa, to the youth group. And After the service, I kind of just threw out a very passing comment with a lot of not much merit behind it, but basically was just like, yeah, I’d love to go to South Africa at some point. he latched onto that. And by the time I came back to church the next week, I had 10 or 15 people saying, hey, I hear you’re going to South Africa. That’s so exciting. I was like, oh, really? I didn’t know I was going to go. And this just continued to happen to the point where it’s like, okay, maybe God might be trying to nudge me in this direction. But it just felt weird because I had a heart for missions. I had a strong assumption that missions were in my future to some degree, but I always envisioned being in some remote jungle or some war-torn nation in the Middle East. And And South Africa always represented more of a surf trip to me than a mission trip. Right. And it just didn’t seem to line up. But I just kept kind of feeling this prompt that I needed to go and ended up agreeing to at least go to the training meetings with the team. And I show up and the team of 45 people are like, oh, Cubby, we’ve heard so much about you. We’re so excited you’re coming. Yeah. It just felt very weird. But at the end of the day, I didn’t have the $3,000 some odd dollars to go on this trip. It’s like, well, that’s kind of going to be my moment to bow out when the money’s due. And the day that the money’s due comes, I present myself and say, sorry, I don’t have the money. I can’t go. And the bookkeeper’s like, well, what do you mean? And she flips through the book and she says, no, your account is paid in full. We’ve already put a down payment on your plane ticket. Oh my gosh. So at that point, it’s like, okay, God, I guess I’m going. Still with just this internal struggle of like, I didn’t really, I didn’t feel called to this. I’d feel forced into it. This all feels very weird. But then the Monday before we left, we left on a Thursday. That Monday, we had our last training meeting session. And it was just a simple time of worship, a girl on an acoustic guitar. Somewhere in the midst of those few songs just felt… just completely sucked into the power of the Holy Spirit, heard what was as close to an audible voice of God that I’ve ever experienced. Basically hearing God say, Cubby, I want you to go on this trip and you’re staying for a lot longer than two weeks. And so suddenly I had just this overwhelming amount of peace about not only the two weeks that I was committing to on the front end, but just peace about staying indefinitely. And so I sat down after this worship session and I, Trying to, you know, now start rationally think about what I think I just heard. And then I’m realizing that I’ve just got, you know, four or five pretty big commitments that are tying me to the States at that moment. And just up and leaving would not be a wise move. So I was basically like, God, if that was you, you’re going to have to handle these things. And one by one, I just saw God miraculously free me and release me from these things that I thought were tying me to the States, which culminated in the lead singer of my band at the time, the singer that we just signed a contract and the singer that we were moving to LA. He said, buddy, we got to meet before you leave. So the morning that I was leaving, we sat down and got a burrito. And he’s like, this doesn’t make sense, but I sensed the Lord calling me to lay down the band right now. I was like, well, actually, that makes complete sense.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yes.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah. And I kind of filled them in what I, you know, on the journey that I was on, which ultimately just released me to go and sow into my time in South Africa. For two years. For two years.
SPEAKER 02 :
Wow.
SPEAKER 04 :
Into the two weeks.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER 03 :
Life changing.
SPEAKER 02 :
Huge career pivot. And, you know, but that’s another hallmark that both of you share, Cubby and Rebecca. I mean, Rebecca, you had a season where things weren’t quite adding up and God called you to San Diego, which is not exactly mission country. But I mean, it was just a… It was kind of a radical pivot. Talk about what that season was like for you and why you would say yes to that in the first place.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, I and my when I was probably about 30, 31, just since God moving me to California, there was some opportunities with acting that were on the table and that I was passionate about. And so I moved out there with a friend who was a worship leader. And it was really because of that. Yes. And because of that big change and moving away from all my family in Nashville and that I ended up moving to LA and then meeting Cubby. So sometimes these times in our lives where we’re like, I need a change. And at that point I was pretty burned out too. I was dealing with vocal stress and struggling to sing, struggling to not have a panic attack while I’m on stage and singing. There was just a lot of burnout there that was affecting me. And then even in conversation, struggling to talk sometimes. So I needed a change of scenery. I needed this new season. And so I go to California and then I look back now and I feel like if it really, if the pain hadn’t gotten that bad, you know, with my voice, with my burnout, I may not have moved to California, probably wouldn’t have never met Cubby. And this… beautiful change of entering into this season that I’d been long waiting for of marriage and family may never have happened. So I’m just thankful that, you know, sometimes we look at really hard experiences in life and we go, why, you know, why did that happen? Why was it so hard? And then you can look back and go, oh, God was moving me through the pain to this new, better season in my life. And I’m so thankful.
SPEAKER 02 :
And I’m sure that was a challenge for you. I don’t want to put words in your mouth, Rebecca. But, I mean, you at that point with your contemporary Christian music career doing well, sold a couple million records, you know, internationally known. And one of the things you were known for was being a musician and being kind of one of the spokespeople for the whole purity movement. I mean, in terms of, and I’m sure that was a heavy, I mean, I love the way you describe it in the book, you know, talking about, Hey, this is just, it’s what I believed in. Sure. This made sense to me. And then looking back on it, I think both of you guys were very transparent in saying, you know, maybe this might’ve led some people to think of God as a, you know, in my paraphrase, evil, mean rule keeper, you know, type of thing, but you stand by, you know, your decision to take that role. And yet I’m sure there were some tough days where you’re thinking, okay, God, I’m, I’m I’m doing this the right way and everybody’s watching me do it the right way. Where’s my guy?
SPEAKER 03 :
Yes.
SPEAKER 02 :
Oh, yeah. I mean, speak to every single woman who’s listening to us right now. And I’ve been waiting for that. Either I was married and it didn’t work or I’m in my 30s or 40s. I’m saying, hello, God, are you are you there? Do you still care? What were your prayers like during that time?
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, it was a really, really challenging season for me. You know, I was very, very public about waiting for my prince to come and had a song about it and books about it and, you know, like spoke about it in every show that I believe God’s way is the best. And that, you know, I was committed to waiting for my holy hunk wherever he was out there. But I think, you know, my song Wait For Me that I’d written, you know, for my future husband out there 10 years before I probably met him. Yeah. It got harder and harder to sing because, you know, the Bible says a hope deferred makes the heart sick. And I really look back and go, yeah, my heart was sick about the fact that these dreams had not come true and there wasn’t necessarily this guarantee that they would. And so I remember just living in L.A. and being single still and just saying, Lord, I know you’re good and I know you’re faithful and I know that you will be with me even forever. when things don’t pan out exactly how I want. And it just helped me to honor you and trust you, even if this dream doesn’t come true. So it was a laying down. It was a surrender. It was a, Lord, I want to. I want to just stay with this intimate relationship that you and I have, even if this dream doesn’t come true. And I do think that there was something about the surrender of that time And the kind of purity of my relationship with God of like just going, I trust you. I want to honor you through all seasons of life, even the hardest of things. And I lay down this dream that I think really did free up, you know, the season that was to come. And, you know, because we can make an idol of marriage. We can make an idol of anything. And I think He wanted me to come to it in this open-handed way. And so I’m thankful for that part of the process now. Yeah.
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, we have covered so much ground in this brand new book by Cubby Fink and Rebecca St. James called Lasting Ever. And we’ve just really scratched the surface. So we’re going to need another program. Cubby, Rebecca, can we keep you on board for another broadcast here?
SPEAKER 03 :
We would love that.
SPEAKER 02 :
We would love it. Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, today here on Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk, we’ve been featuring a conversation with Christian recording artists Rebecca St. James and Cubby Fink. Like finding a missing puzzle piece, their love story reminds us that even our toughest seasons can be part of God’s perfect plan to bring the right people into our lives at just the right time. Now, we hope you’ll make plans to join us again next time to hear part two of this conversation. And if you’re interested in learning more about Rebecca and Cubby’s brand new book, it’s called Lasting Ever, Faith, Music, Family, and Being Found by True Love. You’ll find a link on our website at drjamesdobson.org forward slash family talk. That’s where you’ll also find the audio for today’s program. And if you’ve been encouraged by what you’ve heard today, we encourage you to reach out and share this audio with others who might need to hear this message of hope. By the way, for more content from Dr. James Dobson and Family Talk, be sure to download the official James Dobson Family Institute app. It’s available for both Apple and Android. And don’t forget to sign up for our email list to receive free digital resources, including Dr. Dobson’s monthly newsletter. Go to drjamesdobson.org and scroll down to the newsletter sign up toward the bottom of the homepage. Here at Family Talk, our mission is to help strengthen families through biblical truth. Whether you’re facing challenges in your marriage or looking for parenting guidance or even seeking spiritual growth, we are here to walk alongside you with Christ-centered resources and support. But these daily broadcasts and all of our other many resources are only made possible through friends like you who believe in our mission to encourage and strengthen families. Your tax-deductible donation of any amount will help us continue to bring messages of biblical hope to those who need it most. Remember, you can make a secure donation online when you visit drjamesdobson.org. That’s drjamesdobson.org. You can also reach us by phone. when you call 877-732-6825. And if you’d like to send your donation through the U.S. mail, our ministry mailing address is Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk, P.O. Box 39000, Colorado Springs, Colorado, the zip code 80949. Once again, that’s Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk, or you can just address JDFI for short. PO Box 39000, Colorado Springs, Colorado, 80949. Well, I’m Roger Marsh inviting you to tune in again next time as we continue our conversation with Rebecca St. James and Cubby Fink about their remarkable journey of faith and love. Till then, for Dr. Dobson and all of us here at JDFI, thanks so much for listening to Family Talk, the voice you trust for the family you love. this has been a presentation of the dr james dobson family institute
SPEAKER 01 :
With today’s Dr. Dobson Minute, here’s Dr. James Dobson. Parents can begin introducing children to the wonderful world of music. Here are some ways of doing that. Record your child’s primitive songs, then listen to them together on playback. You might even want to form a small rhythm band consisting of neighborhood children or cousins within the family. Give one of them a triangle, another two sandpaper blocks, and another a bell. Then get yourself a set of earplugs and let them bang and scratch to their heart’s content. Then as the child gets a little older, attend band concerts and parades and recitals. And finally, begin giving formal music lessons when the child appears emotionally and physically ready to learn. Regardless of the timetable, be sure you introduce your children to this exciting world that they will enjoy for a lifetime. For more information, visit drdobsonminute.org.
