00:23:21 Conclusion: Biblical Principles of Friendship
SPEAKER 03 :
If a person cannot share his burden with another person, the chances is he’s not real confident of the love of that friend for him. When you fall, you need somebody who comes to you with gentleness, with meekness. According to the Bible, if the brother has fallen, then we are to restore them with a proper spirit of gentleness and meekness flavored by a careful calculation in my brain that I can also fall into the exact same problem that he has. It’s when we believe it can’t happen to us, that kind of spirit will not minister to the brother who has fallen and to lift up his spirits.
SPEAKER 02 :
Welcome to the Friday broadcast of Hope for Today, the Bible teaching ministry of David Hawking. Yesterday, Ecclesiastes called out the myth of self-sufficiency. Today, it pushes the point even further. You see, success doesn’t protect you. Independence doesn’t sustain you. And going it alone eventually costs you. Ecclesiastes 4 reminds us that strength is not found in isolation, but in relationship. And today, David continues his message called The Importance of Friendship from Ecclesiastes 4, 9-16, as God’s Word shows us why life works better when it’s shared. And just before our study time, a quick word for those of you who want more than a once-and-done listen. The Hope for Today website, davidhawking.org, is where this teaching continues. Full audio broadcasts in our radio section and video messages by David in the Media Center, and they’re available when you are. And if Hope for Today has become a part of your life, well, there’s a simple way to help keep it there. You can support Hope for Today with a one-time gift or by setting up regular monthly giving. You can make it automated if you like, and that provides consistency and stability for the broadcast. That support goes directly toward airtime, production costs, our internet outreach, keeping God’s Word front and center day after day. You can make a donation at davidhawking.org or calling us at 800-75-BIBLE, that’s in the U.S., or 888-75-BIBLE in Canada. And Bible is 24253. We’ll have our mailing addresses for you later in the program. Right now, turn to Ecclesiastes chapter 4, verses 9 through 16. Let’s get back into the passage for day two of David’s message, The Importance of Friendship.
SPEAKER 03 :
How tragic is the person who builds his whole life around himself and one day wakes up to find no one there to minister to him when he has a need. It’s important that we understand that Jesus is that friend. But I believe if you really understand his relationship to you, you’re also going to understand your relationship to other people. Let’s begin at verse 9 as we have some application here now concerning the importance of friendship. Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him, and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Better is a poor and wise youth than an old and foolish king who will be admonished no more. For he comes out of prison to be king, although he was born poor in his kingdom. I saw the living who walk under the sun. They were with the second youth who stands in his place. There was no end of all the people over whom he was made king, yet those who come afterward will not rejoice in him. Surely this also is vanity and grasping for the wind. Now there’s really two thoughts in those paragraphs, two thoughts that we can immediately identify with. One is that friendship is much better than selfish pursuits. Two are better than one. Friendship is much better than selfish pursuits. And then in the second paragraph… The simple point is that friendship is better than mere popularity. And when you grow up, especially as a young person, you begin to think that just to be popular and, quote, have friends, that that somehow is it. But you soon learn in life as you get older that real friendship is something more than mere popularity, which he illustrates by those who often face popularity, those in leadership. Jesus, of course, is that friend you need more than anyone else on this earth. The tragedy is that a lot of us, we don’t forgive ourselves and we don’t deal with our own problems to the point that we don’t come to the Savior even. We don’t even come to Him and ask for His help. Hebrews 4.16 says, Come boldly to the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. I was talking with a person who had experienced a deep problem in their own life just about two weeks ago. And we were talking about why we’re so reluctant to come to God and pray at a time when we need it so much. And it was interesting what he said. In his mind, God was kind of with the bat in the hand and was going to really give it to him. And he was holding back, literally coming to the Lord simply because he thought that, well, you know, what I’ve done is wrong and I deserve the judgment of God and God, you might as well hit me. You know, why should I talk to you? I know I deserve judgment. And people, when I look at the Bible, yes, God is a God of judgment. But when he invites us to come, it’s a throne of grace. That we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. There is no one who can pick up the fallen as Jesus. There is no one who can relieve the burden of our hearts like the Lord. And why is it that we don’t do the most obvious thing of all? And that’s to come to the Lord. Is it because we don’t really know who he is? We don’t know that he knows us backwards and forwards. There’s nothing you’ve done, said, or thought that he doesn’t know. And yet he loves you anyway. He’s a friend to sinners. You know, in the New Testament, there’s a classic example of the wrong attitude in being a friend. Our Lord Jesus was accused of being a friend of publicans and sinners of the street. Because he associated with them. The people who said that were Pharisees. Religious people who had strong standards. But they did not have a heart for people unlike themselves. I find that in order to really be a friend, I’ve got to somehow stop thinking that that other person has to be exactly what I want them to be. That they have to somehow measure up to the standard of what I say a friend should be. That is not being a friend. That’s a great desire to have one and have one on your standards and your expectations, but you can’t do that. We have to be a friend to people even though they don’t measure up to our standards of what we might like in a friend. When God’s compassion gets a hold of our hearts, when God really emphasizes to us the whole issue of mercy and grace and the ministry of the believer and helping other believers, I believe we set no such standards. If one member of the body is suffering, then all the members suffer with it. If one member rejoices, then we all rejoice with it. The attitudes of bearing one another’s burdens and so fulfilling the law of Christ are It seems to me, in some regards, it’s much more important to be a friend to people that you don’t readily identify with. It’s important to be a friend and a companion to somebody who may be very different from you, simply because we all need to understand the principle of bearing one another’s burdens. When he talks about friendship being better than selfish pursuit, it’s not only in terms of success. But it’s also in terms of support. Support that enables one to start over again. To pick him up, lift him up, and set him on his way. But there’s a second matter. In verse 11, he said again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one be warm alone? And of course the answer is to turn the thermostat up, right? well it’s not talking about that obviously in ancient times caravans of people who would be going through israel or other middle eastern countries at night because there were no places to stay for these caravans of people Bedouins still do the same thing today. They would often, in the fields where they might have been working, pile up the grain around in a large circle, and inside on that soft grain, with that outside grain stack as a barrier, they would all lay down there at night. And frequently, they’d all lay down together so they could keep warm, because the nights at certain times of the year, of course, are very cold in the Middle East. And when you see this picture… a people lying together to keep warm. Obviously, God isn’t just talking about that physical scene that was so common in ancient times and still exists among the Bedouins today. He’s talking about much more. There are spiritual principles here that are far deeper. When we talk about support, I believe we’re also talking about the warmth of encouragement that one gives when he gives to his friend to face the pressures of his environment. In the case of that old scene, the environment is the problem, the cold air. So we lie close together so we can keep warm in facing the cold. And that’s also true psychologically and spiritually. When we encourage each other, we’re facing together the pressures of an environment that may be causing a lot of cold. The elements of life around us may be causing a lot of problems to our hearts. Friends often relieve that. Friends often encourage that. I’d like you to take your Bibles and turn to 1 Thessalonians chapter 5. 1 Thessalonians chapter 5. I believe it’s critical when we talk about friendship to understand exactly what friends do to each other. They don’t simply attend events together. They don’t simply laugh together. They don’t simply spend time together, though those things are all important. But what Christian friends do for each other in warming the heart is very important to understand. And maybe it’ll explain why a lot of us see our friends as kind of superficial friends. Kind of just surface, plastic. They don’t really do anything for us. Maybe we’re not doing anything for anybody else either. 1 Thessalonians 5, 11 says, And this concerns friends who have lost loved ones. Can you think of any hour of need any greater than that? A recent study I saw of the most serious crisis that happened to human beings, out of the first ten of them, six of them related to the death of someone. number one of which was the death of a marital partner to whom you’ve been married for many years. And here’s a whole book that was written really basically to teach the second coming of Christ as a blessing and a hope and encouragement to people who have lost loved ones. 90,000 people are going to die today and leave loved ones. But you have a tendency to forget. Few weeks, few months go by after the funeral, and you forget that that person is still experiencing the pain and the agony of that experience. When I look at this, I see a whole book written to tell people, hey, comfort those who have lost loved ones. And how do they do it? With the good news that Jesus Christ is coming back and the dead are going to be resurrected. Praise the Lord. I look at the end of chapter 4, verse 18, and it says, “…therefore, comfort, encourage one another with these words.” Look at verse 11. Therefore comfort each other and edify or build up one another just as you also are doing. Now the word comfort or encourage literally means one called alongside of to help. True friendship is one who is alongside of. What a beautiful word to describe Solomon’s principle. If two lie down together, they can be warm in facing the elements in the cold weather. One called alongside of bringing the warmth of encouragement, building up, comforting that individual. That is essential to the concept of friendship. True spiritual friendship. Comforting one another with the words of Scripture and what God says. And encouraging our hearts. Turn over to Hebrews, please. Chapter 10. Hebrews chapter 10. It’s amazing how often God speaks of this matter. Of encouraging people. of building up, of comforting our friend. Hebrews chapter 10, verse 24 and 25. This is a part of the final exhortations of the book of Hebrews that deal with the person and work of Jesus Christ. It starts at verse 19 and continues through the end of chapter 13. Practical exhortations. You can see them there very clearly. Verse 22, let us draw near. Verse 23, let us hold fast. Now let’s look at verse 24. And let us consider one another… in order to stir up love and good works, how do you do that? By two ways. One, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together. Now let’s stop right there. The average interpretation of that is to attend church. Right? Actually, attending in a meeting where you sit and observe a speaker, and you never have any interrelationships with people, would not really fulfill the dimensions of this passage. Right? The Bible is teaching us to spend time with one another. Don’t forsake. Don’t try to isolate yourself. Don’t forsake the assembling of ourselves together as is the manner of some. But look at the second half of that. But exhorting, that’s the same word comfort or encourage. Encourage, exhort, comfort one another. And so much the more as you see the day approaching. Now if I understand the person and work of Jesus Christ in the book of Hebrews, what practical application should that have in my life? If I really understand what it says. then I will spend time with other Christians, encouraging and comforting them, and all the more when I see the day of the Lord’s return coming close. We need it. We need it. And we need one another. And I think sometimes when I look at the book of Hebrews, I feel that the major problem is the lack of relationship to Christ. The whole book of Hebrews talks about our relationship to Christ, and then proceeds to tell us about our relationships with each other. And could it be that the reason why we don’t have the meaningful friendships, if that truly exists, is because the relationship with Christ is somehow weakened? It’s not what it should be. We haven’t seen His heart, the friend of all friends, and thus we can’t minister to each other as friends. We have too many conditions, too many expectations, too many secular viewpoints of what that friendship should be, rather than looking at the Lord Himself and understanding what His heart would be to our friends. Let’s go back to Ecclesiastes 4 again. In terms of success, two are better than one. In terms of support, two are better than one. Not only to enable someone to start over again, but also to encourage one who faces the pressures of his environment. But there’s a third matter, and that’s a matter of strength. Strength. Look, please, at verse 12. Though one may be overpowered by another… two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken. What’s he talking about? Let’s take, first of all, that first phrase, one may be overpowered by another, but two can withstand him. In what sense? Are we talking about a physical fight? Possibly. When we need strength, we need strength to avoid possible defeat. But isn’t that defeat often in the realm of the verbal and the emotional and the criticism and the attack? The friend often is the strength we need, ministering to us what God really teaches in His Word, strengthening us with His principles at a time when it looks like you’re going to be overpowered or overwhelmed. The other day I called a pastor friend of mine, and as he answered the phone… There was defeat in his voice. Have you ever talked to somebody? You just know they’re down. And he is just absolutely wiped out. And he was telling me about all the things that had happened and all the things that were said to him. And he said, I just feel overwhelmed. And I said, has anybody told you today that they love you? Has anybody said that? He says, no, not even my wife. I left the house. He goes on and on. I mean, I couldn’t believe it. He’s blowing up on the phone over his wife, not telling him that he loved him in the morning. I said, hey, look, I love you, but more important, God loves you. I’m telling him on the phone that God loves him, and he just breaks down. You know, many, many times it seems to me we don’t pay attention to the principles of God’s Word, and we get ourselves in a lot of trouble. Friends are there for a reason. God wants the body to function together, to encourage, to build up each other. And often we forget it. But who knows what you do today? to somebody’s heart that might encourage them to go on another day. I think if we really knew what we all felt, we would be astonished at why we isolate ourselves from each other. But God knows. Praise His wonderful name. Our Lord knows, and you can cast your care upon Him, and He sustains you. But God also teaches in His Word that His people, His body, He who is the head of the church, are to minister one to another. We sometimes have to stop being dignified, straight, isolated, and we have to open up. We have to share. We have to say something. And it’s important. I remember a fellow I was talking to about the need of friends several years ago, and he was very disturbed about this. He said, look, Pastor, the reason I come to your church is because there’s a lot of people there and I can hide. He said, I don’t like it telling us on the pulpit that we ought to minister. That means I’ve got to talk to somebody, and I like being alone. It wasn’t more than a year later that that man had a very serious problem physically, and I’m telling you, did he ever learn his need of friendship. He thought it was great being alone, man. Run your own thing. I like being alone. I don’t like people. They bother me. But boy, when he had a need, the heart just cried out for friendship, but he never spent any time building them. So they weren’t there when he needed them. I think it’s time we really understand these principles. These principles from God’s Word are eternal. They are not just relegated to one cultural setting. They’re eternal. Two are better than one, period. That is the truth of God’s Word. We need friends.
SPEAKER 02 :
That’s Bible teacher and author David Hawking. And David will be back in just a moment or so to put the finishing touches on today’s lesson from God’s Word. Some additional teaching is just ahead, so stay right there. Just before that, David’s son Matt’s here, and together we’re going to share a wonderful home Bible study resource we’re featuring this month that’ll make our current study in Ecclesiastes come to life for you in a whole new way.
SPEAKER 01 :
Solomon was the third king under the United Monarchy of ancient Israel. He is called the wisest and wealthiest king among all of Israel’s kings and leaders. In Ecclesiastes, Solomon lays before the answer to one of life’s most important questions we can ask. Is life worth living? If you leave a personal relationship with a God who created you out of the answer… then the answer is clearly no. Yeah, it’s not worth the struggle, which inevitably comes to all of us. But if you see all of life as God intended and you are rightly related to him, then the answer is an absolute yes. Yes, amen. Well, David makes the biblical case for this inside his book, Is Life Worth Living? Is Life Worth Living is a powerful study guide for the book of Ecclesiastes and a perfect tool for getting the very most out of our current radio series. We’re combining the book.
SPEAKER 02 :
with a complete collection of all of the messages in the Ecclesiastes series. So the 172-page book by David titled, Is Life Worth Living?, plus all 18 messages in our Ecclesiastes radio series. And of course, each message covers about three days on radio.
SPEAKER 01 :
Yeah, the complete package is just $40 plus shipping. It’s a perfect way to save and share all that you’ll be learning in the series for years to come. And your purchase will also help the ministry of Hope for Today. That is Life Worth Living Ecclesiastes package. Again, just $40.
SPEAKER 02 :
Consider adding a donation with your order or becoming a regular monthly contributor as long as God directs and supplies. And please pray for Hope for Today. To get your copy of the Is Life Worth Living Ecclesiastes Package, call 800-75-BIBLE, that’s in the U.S., or 888-75-BIBLE in Canada, and BIBLE is 24253. You can also get this resource at DavidHawking.com. Again, it’s davidhawking.org. And remember this, every gift, every resource purchased, every prayer, it all fuels one thing. God’s Word moving out beyond these walls, over the air, online, into places we may never see or hear about until eternity. This is how Hope for Today stays in the fight. And if you want to be part of that, you can give online at davidhawking, that’s davidhawking.org, or call us at 800-75-BIBLE. That’s in the U.S., 888-75-BIBLE in Canada. If you prefer to write in the U.S., send your gift to Hope for Today, Box 3927, Tustin, California, 92781. In Canada, write to Hope for Today, Box 15011, RPO 7 Oaks, Abbotsford, B.C., V2S 8P1. And as promised, here’s David with his closing thoughts.
SPEAKER 03 :
While we’re continuing our discussion of friendship, and I hope it is a real powerful blessing to you, this last part of chapter 4 is just pointing out the tragedy of not having a friend, and the emptiness and meaningless delight that can come when you realize you have no friends. And the older we get, the more important it becomes to us. But I think we need to understand how to deal with that. First of all, what we’re trying to tell you here is that friendship is better than selfish pursuits. That is so important to understand. A lot of times we’re just building our own little kingdom of things, and we’ve ignored people. That’s a very dangerous tactic. And we’re also learning here in the last few verses of Ecclesiastes 4 that friendship is a lot better than popularity. People give you adulation, adoration maybe. They think you’re really special, but you have no real friends. I think we need to get back to the principles of friendship that are based in the Bible. If you don’t do that, you’re going to get confused, and you might be manipulated and deceived by what the world calls friendship, which often is just a means to acquire something for themselves. They’re a friend to you as long as they get something out of it. Well, we need better friends than that. I remember that our Lord Yeshua said to his disciples, I call you no more servants. I call you friends. What a beautiful thing. To be his friend, my, there’s nothing better. Do you really walk with the Lord? I hope so. And I hope that you have a personal relationship with a God who loved you and created you for himself. God bless you.
SPEAKER 02 :
Thank you, David. And if you’d like to know more about a real relationship with Jesus Christ, according to the Bible, we want to help you. We’d like to send you a free booklet by David called What is Christianity? Along with a free Bible study by mail. Again, these are free if you’re not yet a Christian, but you’re curious or if you’re new to the Christian faith. Call us at 1-800-75-BIBLE. That’s in the U.S. or 888-75-BIBLE in Canada. And Bible is 24253. Now, on the other hand, if you’re already a believer and you’ve drifted away from the Lord and you want to come back to Him, we have something for you as well. It’s a free download from our homepage of a booklet titled Revival Revival. Now, Revival Now is written by our good friend Richard A. Bennett. And again, you can get that on the homepage at davidhawking.org. But join us next time as we continue in Ecclesiastes here on Hope for Today.
