Lane Lawson Craft, author and devoted mother, joins Family Talk to discuss her unique and challenging experiences raising children who strayed from the path of faith. In a captivating interview, she offers deep insights into the power of unwavering prayer and the importance of setting healthy boundaries. Whether you’re a parent faced with similar struggles or simply seeking inspiration, Lane’s story is a testament to the enduring power of love and faith in overcoming life’s toughest battles.
Welcome everyone to Family Talk. It’s a ministry of the James Dobson Family Institute supported by listeners just like you. I’m Dr. James Dobson and I’m thrilled that you’ve joined us. Well, welcome to Family Talk, the broadcast division of the Dr. James Dobson Family Institute. I’m Roger Marsh. Thank you so much for joining us today. We are here on location at the National Religious Broadcasters Convention in Dallas, Texas this year. Now, I think many of us are familiar with the parable of the prodigal son, Luke chapter 15. Some of us know it much better than others. The younger son goes out on his own, seeks his own way, squanders his inheritance, and ends up feeding pigs in a pig pen. When he literally, I love how the scripture says, he came to his senses and then decided to return home. Then there’s a grand reunion of the son with his father who’d been waiting in great expectation for the son to come home, and they all lived happily ever after. Well, there are many parents who have clung to and are clinging to this passage. And they have a prodigal son, prodigal daughter, and they’re waiting in expectation for that son or daughter to return home. And sometimes it takes longer than you want it to. And sometimes it doesn’t happen when you want it to. And sometimes it doesn’t happen at all. Well, our guest on the program today experienced not one, not two, but three prodigal children who all went out on their own, but eventually returned to the Lord. And she’s written about that experience. Her name is Lane Lawson Craft. She’s an award-winning author, speaker, and podcast host, emerging from a near-collapsing marriage and a financial hardship because of this. Lane understands firsthand the transformative power of faith, and her real-life victories over spiritual warfare resonate with so many people. They turned her into a magnet for parents who are saying, you survived this, I want to survive it too. She’s been featured on The 700 Club, on CBN, Fox News, and much more. And she and her family live in the great sunshine state of Florida. Lane Lawson-Kraft, welcome to Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk.
SPEAKER 02 :
Thank you so much, Roger. What an honor.
SPEAKER 01 :
Can you give us, I’m sure you’ve had to tell this story many times before, but since you have not one, not two, but three prodigal stories, can you give us just an overview of what those experiences were like, just kind of in a nutshell, before we get into this new warfare parenting book that you have?
SPEAKER 02 :
Absolutely. I first and foremost want to say, Roger, I think the biggest thing I want any listener to take away is the shame. Because at the time that I had three prodigals, not one, not two, but three, I had a national magazine in every bookstore in America and Canada, all faith-based. It was Jesus from cover to cover. So I was brought from the secular world into being a messenger of hope for Jesus Christ. And I thought, okay, I’m doing everything God’s called me and purposed me to do. And at that same time, I had one child that loved drugs and alcohol. I had another child that loved the concerts and all the wild drugs that go with it. And then my daughter was 17 or 18 and really battled depression into such a way that she thought life would be better without her in it. So when I say the enemy was out to seek, kill, and destroy my three, he was. And he used all kinds of different darts for that.
SPEAKER 01 :
Especially that third point. I mean, we’ve all heard the story of the too much partying or, you know, gets the wrong boyfriend, girlfriend, and starts doing something crazy. But your daughter battling depression to the point where she was considering taking her own life, that’s a whole different type of prodigal in the sense that you know that if God is— Lord of the life and the relationship is solid there. You’re not sitting around saying, I don’t want to be here.
SPEAKER 02 :
That’s exactly right. And, you know, we are seeing an uptick of this in an awful way. Anxiety and depression for our children today. There’s no shame in that either. When I talk about a prodigal, I do mean a wayward or mentally ill or, you know, I really broaden that now because our children today, man, they are under attack.
SPEAKER 01 :
Yes. Yes, they certainly are. So let’s talk about now, you did write a book about your experience, and now you have a follow-up here, a daily battle plan, to fight for your child called Warfare Parenting, which I think is really intriguing. Obviously, we want the sugar-coated Hollywood version where they all come running home and there’s music playing and flowers and all that stuff. Obviously, real life doesn’t work like that. But how did you and your—what was the initial reaction with you and your husband when you’re looking around one day going, all three of our kids? What the heck? God’s blessing our ministries and our marriage and our life, but our kids are just way off the rails.
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, I think the big aha moment for me as a mom was when I realized, Roger, I wasn’t battling that teen or young adult. I was battling the enemy. That was a big aha because that shifted my perspective. Right. I mean, I wasn’t yelling and screaming going, you’ve broken curfew again. Yeah. You know, the police have called me again at 2 a.m., you know. So when I realized I was in a battle with the enemy himself for my children, that’s when I became a true warrior and warfare parenting.
SPEAKER 01 :
Love it. Love it. Well, that is encouraging to hear because you’ve kind of set the stage for, I mean, just about anyone who’s listening. There is a way to do battle with this, but don’t chase after them. Don’t major in the minors, I guess is what I heard you say.
SPEAKER 02 :
Right, right. And pick your battles.
SPEAKER 01 :
Yeah.
SPEAKER 02 :
Amen. You know, you can’t, you’ve got to figure out what is it that really needs my attention to war for.
SPEAKER 01 :
I love that. The fact that these kids were also raised in a faith-based home, I think is worth digging into a little bit. I think the fact that you were able to say, okay, we know what is ours. which battles are ours to fight and which ones aren’t ours. This is not from, you know, we’re not being punished. This is not some kind of retribution by God for some unconfessed sin. These are just kids who were raised with a biblical foundation and they’ve wandered from it.
SPEAKER 02 :
Absolutely. And mine even had a second advantage that many don’t. They saw the hand of God resurrect my dead marriage. Steve and I were married 17 years and God came in and took that dead marriage and turned it around and they got to witness that. So it’s not like they had not seen it in the home already. And we like to say that was the anchor for Steve and I when we had three prodigals. Knowing that God resurrected our marriage, that was the hope that He would turn each one of them around in His timing.
SPEAKER 01 :
There are a lot of traditional parenting methods that unfortunately don’t work in situations like yours. Talk about why a lot of the traditional approaches overlook certain things. You’re saying, wait, I tried to have a curfew, and like you said, and at 2 o’clock in the morning, the police is calling me. I don’t understand what’s wrong. But you had to learn.
SPEAKER 02 :
I did. And you first, again, got to remember the darkness these children are under. I think we forget that they are one click away from making the wrong choice, hooking up with the wrong person, sending the wrong picture or receiving that picture. I think where, you know, the most important part is I believe we can use outside sources, but I really do believe it takes an arsenal and a combination of it all. I don’t think one and done. Right. I also am not Pollyanna. In the Parents Battle Plan, I even have a whole chapter about when you lose a child or you don’t get your prodigal back. I call it when the miracle that you get is not what you expected. And I just talk about how it takes a miracle every day if you lose a child to this or one that never comes home.
SPEAKER 01 :
Yeah, I was going to say, and you’re talking about losing a child either because their life ends or because they just, they wandered so far away. And I can still remember being at my father’s closest friend in high school when he passed away. My dad was not able physically to be there. He was very ill. They were both in their 80s. And so I went to the funeral. And I wound up being a pallbearer and honoring this guy. I’d worked for him for a while. He was a wonderful man. He had two adopted children, and one of his adopted daughters was just so far off the rails. And she basically showed up at the funeral to see if there was any kind of inheritance for her to collect. It was just a pain. She sat in the car in the parking lot while we had the service, you know, that type of thing. And I thought to myself, that really had to be hard for them to see her not raised that way. But those are the decisions that she made. And that must be tough to know that it didn’t get reconciled for them.
SPEAKER 02 :
And Roger, you said something very powerful. We are not the summation of our children’s choices. Amen. I grew up kind of thinking that my children would be a reflection of who I am. And that’s not true because they’re children and they’re young adults. And listen, the prodigal adult children, the numbers are frightening of 50-year-olds that have walked away from faith or continue to abuse alcohol or whatever it may be. So, again, you are not… The summation of your child’s choices.
SPEAKER 01 :
Yeah, and that old expression that I love so much, when you’re born, you look like your parents, and when you die, you look like your choices. You mentioned adult prodigals as well as younger children who go through the prodigal season. They all have a little bit of rebellion, but prodigal is a whole different dimension. Is there some kind of commonality that you’ve seen here?
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, I think probably the complete redundancy for me in a personal way, making the same identical wrong choice over and over again. That’s when I knew we’re in war because, you know, these were good kids, really. Yeah. And I believe every believer, the heart of God is in them, and they don’t wish that for their child or their adult child. So I do believe it’s just having self-destructive choices over and over again would set apart maybe a prodigal from a rebellious, if that makes any sense.
SPEAKER 01 :
Absolutely. No, it makes perfect sense. Prayer, of course, often winds up being the last resort instead of the first line of defense. But it’s important to have prayer. I mean, and we have spiritual armor on when we’re fighting for our loved one. But how does your warfare parenting movement contribute to not just getting the kid back, but this is, like you said, this is a full transformation for the family.
SPEAKER 02 :
It is. It’s the heart of the battle. So for prayer for me was God gave me a vision in my mind and I started pleading the blood of Jesus, which we don’t talk a lot about anymore. But where do we get power? Authority is through the blood of Jesus. So I would literally paint… a cross, a blood-filled cross on the back of my children in my mind. And I’d say, Father, in the name of Jesus and the blood of Christ, I just ask that you protect Stephen because I learned that a male is 25 years old before that frontal lobe develops and gets that good decision-making. So first and foremost, I would say, God, just protect him, and then, Lord, give him your wisdom. And so through that, I would do for each child, Lawson and Kaylee, And guess what? I am here today to tell you, I believe that powerful prayer that I did all the time. And remember, my eldest was 15 years before God came in and delivered him.
SPEAKER 01 :
Wow. Wow. 15 years. I love the sequence there, too. And I think it’s important to underscore. You prayed for protection and for wisdom. And I think a lot of times as parents, we go right to wisdom. You know, they’re making dumb decisions, so God, please give them wisdom to make the right decision. Instead of saying, hey, wait a minute. I mean, the protection part has to be there first. If they’re in a destructive cycle and they’re sliding down that hill, protection is of the utmost, it’s the most basic.
SPEAKER 02 :
It was huge for us because I had two boys and they liked to flip cars.
SPEAKER 01 :
Of course they did.
SPEAKER 02 :
And get racing, speeding tickets. You know, how many can you get in a year? So I literally, I used to have a prayer, Roger. I would say, Father God, keep them alive till they’re 25.
SPEAKER 01 :
And as a former 25-year-old male, I completely vouch for that message there. Now, there’s the issue, though, of what are you doing in terms—you’re praying for your kids, obviously. You’re praying for protection. You’re praying for wisdom. But you’re also still trying to have relationship with these prodigals, and that is much easier said than done. What are some tips for having not only just keep the relationship going, but to make sure it’s spiritually purposeful? You don’t just want to say, hey, show up on Thanksgiving and whatever, and Whatever you’re doing that’s destructive, we don’t care as long as you keep calling us. You know, you want way more than that.
SPEAKER 02 :
Right. And I really, there are a couple of things that I know are pivotal. One is I would just look at my child or children at some seasons and go, this is a new day. What we’ve been doing is not working. There are new mercies every day. So will you help me, Steve and Lawson or Kaylee, come up with a new way to do us?
SPEAKER 01 :
Wow.
SPEAKER 02 :
You wouldn’t believe a breakthrough that would bring. Wow.
SPEAKER 01 :
How many parents would say, well, I could never do that. They’re making dumb decisions. I mean, you know, quite frankly, that would be my first reaction is to say, why should I ask them that? But you had to trust that that was what God wanted you to do.
SPEAKER 02 :
Absolutely. And I think it takes that level of compassion because you know that, you know, that’s your child. So, and then the second thing that I really think is pivotal is say, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Stephen, I keep yelling at you. I can remember him saying, Mom, you always act so disappointed in me. And I go, I’m not disappointed in you, Stephen. I’m disappointed in the choices you continue to make. So I would say, hey, look, I’m sorry. Did I yell too much this time? But, you know, Roger, when a kid keeps doing wrong, it’s not easy to keep your cool. Right. So I think I’m sorry is pivotal because I believe that also enables a new beginning. When you just say, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.
SPEAKER 01 :
Yeah, I think Gary Chapman had a book out years ago. He had the five love languages, but then he also did the five languages of apology. And when you say, I’m sorry, I’m thinking, well, there’s maybe a couple of different ways. Maybe saying I’m sorry isn’t the way that they hear it. Maybe it’s please forgive me. or trying to do something that shows that you want to do differently. But whatever it is, be intentional. You’re saying, Mom, Dad, if you’ve got that prodigal child, you take the initiative. Don’t just pray and wait for them to have an epiphany one day and come home for Christmas and say, You know what? You’re right. Fifteen years on your knees, and by golly, God finally broke through. It takes a lot of hard work.
SPEAKER 02 :
It does. And I think it also allows the children to see that you’re not perfect because we’re not perfect. Is there any perfect person? And there’s no perfect parent. We’re all going to make mistakes. And so when we say to our child, you know, number one, let’s do a new something because what we’re doing is not working. And let’s talk about it. Don’t just do it. Try to get them on your team. And then you say, I’m sorry if I’ve ever hurt you in the past. Maybe I blew my cool. Right then, you’ll see it in their eyes or go, wow, okay, maybe I can, you know, at least listen to them.
SPEAKER 01 :
Yeah. This is a great conversation because of how important it is. I mean, how many parents are wrestling with this? How many young people are struggling, as Lane Lawson Craft mentioned earlier? One of the principles that you recommend is to declare victory. You know, take the— And I appreciate the fact that you encourage parents to do that because I’m sure that most parents are thinking this is either black or white. It’s either up or down, yes or no. Either they are completely restored to wholeness and they’re at home and we’ve got a great relationship. And if I don’t have that, then it’s not working. Talk about why you say that declaring victory in the middle of the struggles can actually be a source of strength for parents.
SPEAKER 02 :
It really can. It can keep you encouraged. That’s a pivotal thing in the warfare parenting. I’m just going to tell you, Roger, I got very desperate at times. I mean, 15 years is a long time. You can imagine the offenses I had to endure. So I say take small victories. Just take the small victory. If you hear from them, say, thank you for calling me. I’ve been wondering about you. And I think, too, when we wait expectantly—I learned that the hard way—that’s faith in action. When you are waiting expectantly for God to move— then that allows God to move. Amen? So I just, it’s almost, it’s wonderful. But it’s also very hard. I love to call it, Roger, the mean time. You know, you offer a prayer to God, you bring this prodigal home, and then you’re waiting for the answer. And I call that the mean time because it’s mean. The enemy distracts you. He disappoints you. He really almost distracts turns up the warfare on your child. So I really have a heart. In the first book, I gave you applications, tools, everything you would need for the battle. But in the warfare parenting, it literally is a daily nugget for that parent that’s still warring for that child.
SPEAKER 01 :
I love that thought that you encourage us to look at this as an ongoing battle. Talk about the fact that there are, I’m sure there were times with your oldest, especially that long period of time where you were trying to have an open and honest conversation with him, and he said things purposely to hurt you or your husband? Just to say, you know, I had a miserable childhood. You know, things that weren’t true, or maybe there was a situation that was a little dicey growing up, and that led him to a certain way. How does a parent—I mean, the ones that pierce the armor of God— You know, at least where you could feel that heat coming up against your skin. What are some good ways for parents to react short of just slamming the phone down or banishing them from their family?
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, I can tell you from a mama, when I heard, I hate you. Wow. That would break my heart. I hate you. You don’t even know what I’m up against. And all I can say, when I started seeing… You know, I don’t know if it’s a phrase, but when people are the most unlovable are when they need us to love them the most. And when I change that lens and perspective, when he would say, you know, all three of them had their moments. You don’t understand. You’re the meanest mother. You know, I could go on and on. Because, I mean, again, 15 years, you can imagine what I would hear now. uh but when i started saying oh wow this is a cry for help when he tells me his mom that i know he loves that he hates me you know that again too i tell parents we can do this in another section but about boundaries you know when i started putting serious boundaries in place that’s when i really started getting that you know i hate you but do any of us change without a little pain exactly so you know you don’t want to enable them either if
SPEAKER 01 :
Yeah, well, boundaries are healthy. Talk about the reaction then when you hit that breakthrough moment. Maybe give an example with one of your kids. When the prodigal does return, and it’s not just false hope, it’s not just a, or as we say here in the South, I guess false fall, I’m sure parents go through a real emotional roller coaster when they’re dealing with that.
SPEAKER 02 :
They do, they do. And a scripture always comes to mind, a righteous man falls seven times, but he gets back up. If you don’t mind me sharing, for Stephen, my 15-year-old prodigal was high on cocaine, And he called an Uber. And the Uber driver came to pick him up, take him to his next party. And the Uber driver was from another country earning money. And he said, I feel like I’m supposed to pray for you, son. He was in ministry. So Stephen, of course, was familiar with prayer. And the man started praying. And Stephen said, the presence of God. He knew he was high, but the presence of God was so strong that he was pressed to the floorboard of this Uber car. Wow. And started wailing and crying. Now, listen, he was high on cocaine going to the next party. But God came down and touched him so powerfully, Roger. He was forever changed. That was the beginning of his deliverance.
SPEAKER 01 :
What was that like for you and your husband?
SPEAKER 02 :
I mean, getting chills every time I share that story. Because for me, I don’t know anybody else out there. I mean, that’s not how I prayed God to touch him. Literally, he was in the pit. of darkness when God came down. And it just showed me none of us have to clean up for God to just come down and save us and rescue us. Amen.
SPEAKER 01 :
Amen. What a blessing and what an encouragement. There are those who might be listening to this conversation right now and they’re saying, okay, I’m resonating with everything you’re saying and it sounds like it’s really wonderful, but my prodigal story didn’t have a happy ending. Right.
SPEAKER 02 :
And again, yes, because I just know that we have free will down here and choices and And my heart breaks. I actually just ministered to someone at y’all’s front desk that has lost a son to fentanyl poisoning. And I was able to minister and say, I just want you to know the miracle today is that you’re standing. And the miracle today is you’re still calling upon the Lord. So that’s what I say. Never give up hope. But if your child has passed and gone to heaven, just know that God will sustain you and he loves you. And Roger, you know, God was the first prodigal parent. What did he do? He had Adam and Eve. And what did he tell them? Don’t eat of that tree. What did they do? They ate the tree. And he came back. If you remember, he goes, what have you done? He was devastated.
SPEAKER 01 :
Yeah. I was going to say he’s devastated, even though he knew what they did. I mean, he’s God, he’s omniscient. He knew that they were capable of it, but it was like, oh man, day one and here you’re messing up.
SPEAKER 02 :
And so I do, I really do want to touch on that, though. Suicide is up 25%. Wow. Fentanyl poisonings are in the, I think someone told me recently, and you can check my facts, but more people have died with fentanyl poisoning than we lost in a 10-year Vietnam War. Wow. Come on now. That’s incredible. Incredible. So I know there’s someone listening today that has lost a loved one or a child. And I want you to know God loves you and loves that child. And he will never leave you or forsake you. And he has promised us that we will reunite in heaven.
SPEAKER 01 :
That’s wonderful. Well, Lane Losscraft has been my guest today here on Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk. We’ve been talking about her brand new book called Warfare Parenting, which is a daily battle plan to fight for your child. Lane, take us out with a word of encouragement for the parent right now or the parent who’s struggling with the—and we’re talking— prodigal kid we’re not talking about rebellious three four or five year old i mean that’s a whole different dimension of spiritual warfare but we’re talking about that kid maybe 13 14 15 who was walking the straight and narrow and all of a sudden they’re gone sideways or maybe the college student who seemed like they had it all together and the job got to be too much and next thing you know they’re not coming to family gatherings give that parent a good first step of encouragement
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, I just want to offer hope because no prodigal is too far gone. And my life has shown that. Our testimonies have shown that. Again, if you’re not praying for your prodigal, who is? So I encourage you today, get serious. And I don’t mean that it’s going to bring instant. I’m just saying that keeps you connected to God in such a way that it keeps you encouraged and hopeful and expectant that God is going to bring that prodigal home.
SPEAKER 01 :
Amen. Lane Lawson-Craft, thank you for the work that you’ve done in this area. Thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing your personal story. I know it’s going to encourage thousands of people. And we appreciate you being with us today on Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk.
SPEAKER 02 :
Thank you so much for allowing me to share this message of hope.
SPEAKER 01 :
Well, Lane Lawson Craft has reminded us that no prodigal is too far gone, and that echoes the heart of the father who never stops pursuing his children. That’s a truth that every parent needs to hold on to, especially during those long, difficult seasons. I’m Roger Marsh, and you’ve been listening to Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk, featuring an encouraging conversation I had with author Lane Lawson Craft about walking through the prodigal journey with faith and intentionality. If you missed any portion of today’s broadcast or perhaps you know a parent who has a prodigal child in their home, we encourage you to go to jdfi.net and you can hear this entire program again. Once you’re there, you’ll also find a link for Lane’s newest book. It’s called Warfare Parenting, a daily battle plan to fight for your child. You’ll find information about the book and the audio from this program at drjamesdobson.org or jdfi.net. That’s just an easier way of getting to the same place. Now, while we’ve been talking today about the challenges of raising children who have wandered from the faith, I want to share a resource that can help strengthen your marriage through every season of parenting. You know, when you have a prodigal adult child, that can really put a strain on your marriage. And strong marriages create the foundation that can help a family weather even the toughest storms like a prodigal child. That’s why we’ve created a helpful PDF guide. It’s called 10 Tips for a Long-Lasting Marriage. These principles are drawn from Dr. Dobson’s decades of research and counsel. And whether you are parents of young children or you’re empty nesters who are still praying for your adult prodigal children, these principles can help you and your spouse stay united. You can download your free copy of the helpful PDF guide called 10 Tips for a Long-Lasting Marriage when you go to drjamesdobson.org, or you can also get there faster by going to jdfi.net. Every day, families all across America turn to the Dr. James Dobson Family Institute for biblical wisdom when they’re facing their toughest challenges. And your partnership makes it possible for us to broadcast messages of hope and practical guidance that remind struggling families they’re not alone in their battles. If today’s conversation has given you fresh courage for your own journey, would you consider helping us reach other families who desperately need this same hope? Your gift of any amount continues this work of equipping families with biblical practical truth. And you can make a secure donation online at jdfi.net. That’s jdfi.net. Or call a member of our constituent care team at 877-732-6825. That’s 877-732-6825. Well, I’m Roger Marsh, and on behalf of all of us here at Family Talk and the James Dobson Family Institute, thanks so much for listening today. Be sure to join us again next time right here for another edition of Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk, the voice you can still trust for the family you love. This has been a presentation of the Dr. James Dobson Family Institute.
