Join Adrian Rogers as he explores the divine edicts of the Ten Commandments and their application in our daily lives. Learn why honoring your parents is not just a commandment but a cornerstone of a righteous life. Discover practical ways to obey, care for, and respect your elders, alongside the spiritual benefits of upholding these values. This episode offers valuable insights into the continuous blessing of family integrity and character in both young and old.
Known for his unique ability to simplify profound truth so that it can be applied to everyday life, Adrian Rogers was one of the most effective preachers, respected Bible teachers, and Christian leaders of our time. Thanks for joining us for this message. Here’s Adrian Rogers.
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Be finding the book of Exodus, please. Chapter 20. And that brings us to that wonderful passage that we know has the Ten Commandments, Exodus chapter 20. We’re talking on this subject, treasuring family values. Somebody has said that a cynic is somebody who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. We live in a cynical age, and there are those, many of them, who do not know family values and And certainly they do not treasure family values. I think you’d have to agree with me that there has been an all-out assault on the home. And Satan has masterminded it because the home is the basic unit of society. God founded the home. before government, before the school, and before the church. It is the basic unit of society. And as the home goes, so the society goes. And we have homes today in America that are unraveling. And the music industry and Hollywood and television are doing their part in this assault on the home. I want to ask you a question. When’s the last time you saw a happily married couple portrayed on television or in a film? Now, if you can remember it, again, it would be very, very rare. And probably it would be set in another age, like Little House on the Prairie. Something back in that time, in that generation. Do you remember when television began? Do you remember the… The kind of films that we used to watch, I Love Lucy. Dick Van Dyke and Lassie and Make Room for Daddy and The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet and The Donna Reed Show and Father Knows Best and Leave It to Beaver and The Real McCoys and the family could sit down and eat popcorn and not have to worry about dirty words, not have to worry about people with morals like alley cats jumping in and out of bed together and could just listen to God express through words Well, I don’t know whether you could say that God was doing it. Just Hollywood or the television moguls were saying, this is a home, a happy home. Can you imagine a show today entitled Father Knows Best? They had one today be Father Knows Nothing. Parents and especially dads are looked upon as imbeciles, as people who don’t understand, who are out of it, who are malicious, who are hypocritical, who are failing in every way. And it is the enlightened children today. who now are telling the parents how to behave. And the parents stumble around and they fail. And even in the nice films, Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. The father is a what? He’s a kind of a stupid, he might be intellectually smart enough to be a scientist, but it’s the kids who find their way through the jungle in the backyard. Or even the little mermaid who seems to understand more than her father about what true love is and true commitment. E.T., It’s the children who seem to say now, adults, you don’t understand how to treat this extraterrestrial being. Home alone. Here’s a little guy and his parents are so stupid they leave him. And then he all by himself fins the house, you know, from burglars and gets folks together and men’s relationships and all that. But what are all of them saying? They’re saying that parents are a failure. Do you know where this began? This began in the 60s with a rebellion, a youth culture that said don’t trust anybody over 30. And now that generation is running the country. And they are running the media. And we’re reaping now a harvest of children who do not understand what God taught as one of the basic family values. I want to read it to you right here out of the Word of God. Exodus chapter 20 and verse 1, “…and God spake all these words, saying, I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt.” Out of the house of bondage thou shalt have no other gods before me. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above or that is in the earth beneath or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them nor serve them for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children. unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me, and showing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain. Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labor and do all thy work. But the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord thy God. In it thou shalt not do any work, thou nor thy son nor thy daughter, thy manservant nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle nor thy stranger that is within thy gates. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day. Wherefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it. And then we come to verse 12. Now you notice the first four commandments dealt with God. No other gods. No graven images. Don’t take God’s name in vain. Remember the Sabbath day. Those are what we call the vertical relationships, the relationship between man and God and God and man. And then after the first four, he gives six that we call the horizontal relationships, our relationships with one another. And the first of these is this. Honor father and mother. Now think with me for a moment. God only gave ten commandments, so you know that they’re exceedingly important. And of those ten, one of them says that we are to honor our father and our mother. And that is a basic family value that needs to be treasured. This is the first of the last six. And why does God put it first? Because it is primary. The child that does not learn to honor his father and mother will have a basic character flaw that will impede him from fulfilling the rest of the commandments. And so honor father and mother comes before not killing, not stealing. not bearing false witness. This is first and this is primary. The religion that does not begin at home generally does not begin. Our parents are the first persons we meet, the first persons we know. If we cannot learn to respect and love our parents, how can we hope to get along in society? This is absolutely, basically fundamental. And so I want us to look At this command. And it is a command. It’s not a suggestion, a command. Honor your father and your mother. And I want to give you three ways, children, that you can do that. And all of us are children. All of us have fathers and mothers. Some have parents who are in heaven, but we all have fathers and mothers. And here is a command, therefore, that is universal. It is to every mother’s child in the world. Honor thy father and thy mother that thy days may be long in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. Here are three ways you can do it. First of all, you are to obey them when you are young. Have you got that down? Obey them. Now, I’m going to give you some scriptures, and I want you to jot them down. First of all is Colossians chapter 3 and verse 20. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord. That means that not to do it would be to displease God. Now, why should you obey your parents? Well, first of all, it is the root of all sin. blessing to obey your parents. Out here in the West, we have what we call the continental divide. They’re the Rocky Mountains and a drop of water falling on one side of the Rockies will end up in the Pacific. A drop of water falling on the other side of the Rockies may end up in the Atlantic. What is the continental divide with children? Children seem to have the same abilities, the same mind, the same opportunities, but one child chooses to obey his parents and and the other child may choose not to. And that makes the difference in character. It makes the difference in destiny. Obedience to parents is a continental divide in character. Dwight L. Moody, who was an evangelist of yesteryear, said this, I’ve lived over 60 years, and I’ve learned one thing if I’ve learned nothing else. No man or woman who dishonors father or mother ever prospers. That’s what Dwight L. Moody said. God ranks disobedience with the very worst and the most vile sins. Put your finger there in Exodus chapter 20 and turn with me to Romans chapter 1. I want to show you how God feels about the sin of disobedience to parents. I’m going to begin reading in Romans 1 and verse 28. God speaks of a generation on its last legs. And this is what He says about it. And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind. Now, you want to know what a reprobate mind is? Well, listen. God gave them over to a reprobate mind to do those things which are not convenient. And I want you to hear now the catalog of sins that he’s going to list. And I want you to see as I read this catalog of sins, vile and vicious as they are, that God puts disobedience to parents in this list. Listen to it. Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication. Wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness, full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity, whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents.” Now, you may think that disobeying mom or dad is a small thing, but take that list of sins and see how God ranks the sins of disobedience with the very worst sins. As a matter of fact, God teaches that a generation that disobeys its parents is a generation on its last legs. It’s a sign of the last days and the end times. You might also find 2 Timothy chapter 3, verses 1 through 5. And listen to how God describes the last days. How God describes perilous times, the days that I believe we’re in. This know also, that in the last days… Perilous times shall come. Now here’s God’s description of perilous times. Listen to it. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents. unthankful unholy without natural affection truce breakers false accusers incontinent fierce despisers of those that are good traitors heady high-minded lovers of pleasures more than lovers of god having a form of godliness but denying the power thereof what does god say god says teenager If you’re disobedient to your parents, you are a hypocrite. Disobedient to parents brings the sure judgment of Almighty God. And obedience to parents brings the blessings of Almighty God. Listen to Ephesians chapter 6, verses 1 through 3. Children… Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and thy mother, which is the first commandment with promise. When God gave the other commandment, He gave a warning. But God, with this commandment, God gives a promise. And what is the promise? That you will live long in the land. Listen, that it may be well with thee, and that thou mayest live long on the earth. Why is that? Because… When you honor your parents, that is the seedbed, the root of character. And to live with character is to live with health. It is to be given a long life. And it is also to receive the blessings and the protection of Almighty God because God does not bless, nor is God bound to protect rebels who rebel against Him. Moms and dads, perhaps you ought to put a sign in the bedroom of your child that says something like this, warning, disobedience to your parents may be harmful to your health. You see, friend, God judges this sin. You say, well, what if my mom and dad command me to do something that’s contrary to the Word of God? Then, of course, we ought to obey God rather than men, but that is so rare that it is hardly worth mentioning. Most parents are parents who tell us what is right and what is wrong. Of course, the Bible says, children, obey your parents in the Lord. You cannot go against God by obeying your parents, but you should always obey your parents when it does not contradict a known command of Almighty God. That’s the first thing you can do today to honor your father and your mother. Obey them when you are young. Ah, but you’ll not be young always. The Bible says, for this cause shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife. There comes a time when you’re out from underneath their commands and you begin to build your own home and give instruction to your own children. So the second way that you honor your mother and your father is not only to obey them when you’re young. but to care for them when they are old. Do you have it? You obey them when you’re young. Number two, you care for them when they are old. We have a serious problem in America today and in the world today. And that is we have forsaken and cast away our older people. We’ve become hard-hearted to the elderly. And many times we’re expecting the government and institutions and churches to take care of our parents when it is our solemn and holy obligation before God. You say, but that inhibits me. I can’t do what I want to do. Friend, it makes no difference. You inhibited them when you were little. If you have to carry them around, they carried you around. If you have to bathe them, they bathed you. If you have to feed them, they fed you. If you must sacrifice for them, they sacrificed for you. The Bible says a wonderful thing in Matthew chapter 15. It teaches us that our duty to our parents comes before our duty to the church. Now, I want you to listen to this. Jesus was speaking to the religionists of His day and found out that they were being hypocritical because they were neglecting their grown parents. And here’s what Jesus said to them. He said in Matthew 15, verse 3, And he answered and said unto them, Why do you also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition? For God commanded, saying, Honor thy father and mother, and he that curseth father or mother, let him die the death. But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me. Now what does that mean? Here’s a man who has a father and a mother who are in need. I’m talking about financial need, physical need. And here’s a son who says, Well, I can’t help you, Mom. I can’t help you, Dad. I took what I was going to spend on you and I gave it to the church. I gave it to God personally. So I can’t help you. Jesus went on to say, But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me. And honor not his father or his mother, he shall be free. That is, he doesn’t have any responsibility now to his mom and dad because he’s dedicated everything to the church or to God or to the temple. Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition. That is, they had taken tradition and used tradition to nullify and negate the Ten Commandments. And then here’s what our Lord said, Ye hypocrites. Well did Isaiah prophesy of you saying, This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth and honoreth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me. But in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men. It’s vain. You have negated the basic commandment of God which says you are to honor your father and your mother. And Jesus said one of the ways that you do that is to take care of them when they’re old. If you fail to do it, If you fail to do it, the Bible teaches that you are worse than an infidel. Not as good as an infidel, worse than an infidel. Put these scriptures down. 1 Timothy 5, verse 4. But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to show piety at home. That is, here’s a woman. She’s a widow. She does not have any way to take care of herself. She has children who should take care of her. Our Lord says, let those children learn to show piety at home. That is godliness. And to requite their parents. That means to take care of their parents. For that is good and acceptable before God. And then listen to how Paul sums it up in 1 Timothy chapter 5 and verse 8. He says, And if any provide not for his own, especially those of his own house, he has denied the faith and is worse than an infidel. Plain English. You have no right to call yourself a child of God if you don’t take care of your elderly parents. That’s what God’s Word says. But nobody can call himself a Bible-believing Christian who does not honor and respect and take care of his parents. You are to obey them when you’re young. You are to care for them when they are old. And when the Bible says, if any provide not for his own, especially those of his own house, he’s not talking about parents providing for children. He’s talking about children providing for parents. Remember, first of all, we said obey them when you’re young. secondly care for them when they’re old thirdly honor them at all times and I’m going to give you five ways that you can do that Whether you’re young or old, whether they’re old or in their prime, here are five ways that every child can honor his or her parents. The word honor means to take them seriously, to speak of them with respect. As a matter of fact, the word honor comes from a Hebrew word which means to attach weight to something. It means not to take your parents lightly. Not to deal with them frivolously. Here are five ways that you can honor your mother. Five ways that you can honor your father. Number one. Show them respect. You do it by showing respect. Listen to these verses. Leviticus 19 verse 3. And ye shall fear every man his mother and his father. Fear them. Now that word fear doesn’t mean to quake in their presence. It’s a word that means to reverence. Like the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. That is you to have a holy respect for your father and your mother. You should never shoot off the lip at your parents. Leviticus 20 verse 9. For everyone that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death. He hath cursed his father or his mother. His blood shall be upon him. This was a sin so hateful, so horrible, so heinous. That in the Old Testament, under the theocracy, were you to curse your father or your mother, they would stone you to death, young person. God puts it quaintly in the Proverbs. In Proverbs chapter 30, verse 17, the eye that mocketh at his father and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out and the young eagles shall eat it. You say, but my parents are not worthy of respect. Only perfect children can demand perfect parents, and no children are perfect. Our parents are imperfect. You’re imperfect. But God is holy, and God says that you are to respect your parents. There’s one thing in our family that we would not tolerate, and that is disrespect. There are times when we might look the other way at some failures and some faults, some foibles in our children. But direct disrespect… I would not tolerate. I would not allow them to speak disrespectfully to someone who’s done for them what Joyce has done for them. She went down into the very valley of the shadow of death. to bring them into this world. I watched her. She’s wept over them and prayed for them and nursed them and cared for them and sacrificed for them and lived for them and labored for them and loved them and taught them and cared for them. And to disrespect them is a sin in my mind of the gravest import. You should respect them. Your parents. Respect them. They are your parents. Number two, you honor them by expressing gratitude. To say to them, thank you for what you’ve done. Develop an attitude of gratitude. How wonderfully our parents have taken care of us. Shakespeare said, how sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child. You say, but my mom and dad made me do this or that. Thank God they cared enough to discipline you. And even failing parents have done so much that deserve thanks. Thank your mom and dad and tell them that you’re thankful. Write that note. Express that thanksgiving. Learn to express thanksgiving to your parents. Thirdly, Listen to their counsel. Heed their counsel. Listen to Proverbs chapter 1, verses 8 and 9. My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother, for they shall be an ornament of grace under thy head and chains about thy neck. The chains he’s talking about are not chains of slavery, but ornamentation, like a gold chain around your neck. Your mom and dad know far more than you may think they know. You say, well, I’m smarter than they are. I’ve got a better education. That has nothing to do with it. Let me tell you where your mom and dad have it over you. They’ve lived longer than you have. David could say, once I was young and now I’m old. Children can’t say that. All they can say is, I’m young. But an older person has experience that younger people do not have. Now, if we’re going to go, suppose that your family decides that you’re going to go to California on a vacation. Let’s suppose that mom and dad start out early. And let’s suppose that you and your family wait behind and your mom and dad are driving. They take interstate 40 and they’re headed west. And then they call back to you and they say to you, by the way, going through thus and such a city, be careful. The road is under construction. You’re going to waste a lot of time there. We suggest that you take a detour. And then they might say to you, and by the way, we found a wonderful motel to stay in. It’s very reasonable, very clean, and a great restaurant next to it. And then they say, oh, don’t fail to see thus and such. Now, is that because they’re smarter than you or better than you? No. They’ve just been down the road further than you have. There’s something about age that the Bible says we’re to honor. We’re not to discount that. And we have a young generation today that thinks that it knows better. But the Bible says, my son, hear the instruction of thy father and forsake not the law of thy mother. When you were 16, you thought your dad didn’t know anything. At 19, you were sure of it. At 22, you felt you were light years ahead of him. Then when you got to be 30, you said, well, maybe he did know a few things. You got to be 40, you think he was almost perfect. The older you get, the smarter your parents will get. The older you get, the smarter your parents will get. Your parents have this advantage. You honor them by heeding and listening to their counsel. Fourthly, Here’s a way that you can honor your parents. By living nobly, by living a godly life, you are an extension of your parents. Their blood flows in your veins. When you live honorably, you honor them. When you live shamefully, you bring shame to your parents. Do you know what gives me great joy? For my parents to say, son, we’re proud of you. Or son, we’re grateful for you. That gives me a thrill, a rush, an exhilaration of joy to think that I have pleased them. Do you know what gives me great joy as a father? To see my children living godly lives, I have no greater joy than to know that my children walk in the truth. I went to Richmond, Virginia along with Joyce to put our son on an airplane to go to Spain to be a missionary. He and his lovely wife Kelly and our little grandson Jonathan. And oh, what joy, what joy surged through my heart to know that I have a son who’s living for God. I have another son in Florida who writes Christian music. And the joy of my heart is that he loves God. I have two daughters who are godly homemakers. And to watch them mother their children and to teach the love of God to our grandchildren. That gives me honor. It gives me joy. It is a crown and an honor to Joyce because they are an extension of us. How do you honor your parents? By living honorably. Last of all, you honor them by showing to them love. I mean by showing love. There’s nothing greater than On earth, no greater love, no more God-like love than love of father and mother for their own children. Most parents would fling their lives to the death on behalf of their children. And they have loved us so much and how we ought to love them. Write that letter. Have you ever written a letter to your parents saying, I mean a love letter. Telling them how much you love them. You say, it sounds so corny. I’ll guarantee you they’ll never throw it away. Write that letter. Tell them how much you appreciate what they have done. Pay that visit. Give that gift. Do that deed. Show that affection. And do it while you can. If your parents are still alive, take advantage of that opportunity. I’ve preached a good number of funerals, and not infrequently have I come to stand there at the grave when children tried to make up in a funeral. with an expensive casket and flowers and beautiful words, tried to make up for a lost time. I’m not against an expensive casket, if that’s your desire. I’m not against the flowers or the beautiful words. But you listen to me. Dead noses smell no roses. What you’re going to do, do it now. Would you honor your mother and your dad? Oh, friend, show them respect. Give them thanks. Live an honorable life and express love. Express it. Say, Mama, I love you. You did it when you were a little boy. You’re not too big to do it today. The Bible says… Honor your father and your mother. And very frankly, my dear friends, that’s a family value that this generation needs to treasure. Treasuring family values. May I tell you that to honor your father and mother begins with honoring your heavenly father. to give your heart to Him, to trust Him, to ask Him to come into your heart, forgive your sin and save you. The Bible says, therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Would you like to be justified? That means all of your sin debt canceled and in God’s sight you’re right and righteous with Him. Then you’re justified by faith. That is, believe on Him, trust Him, receive Him. Pray like this, O God, I’m a sinner and I’m lost and I need to be saved. Jesus, I believe You’re the Son of God. You died on the cross for my sin and today, like a little child, I trust You. Come into my heart. Forgive my sin. Save me, Lord Jesus. If you would pray a prayer like that in faith, God would save you. Therefore, being justified by faith, we have peace with God. Isn’t that what you want? Every sin forgiven, the burden of sin gone, the love of Christ in your heart. Peace with God. Therefore, being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. The church can’t do it. Your good deeds can’t do it. Only Jesus can do it. And he’ll save you today if you’ll trust him. If you’ll say, come into my heart, forgive my sin, and save me, Lord Jesus. And Father, I pray that many today, many today will trust Christ. Amen.
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