Join Chrysandra Brunson in a compelling conversation with Jim Daly, the president of Focus on the Family, as they explore the pivotal role of humility and authenticity in leadership. Discover how Jim’s early life experiences shaped his resilient nature and prepared him for a life dedicated to empowering others through faith. This episode delves into the critical importance of marriage as a foundational element of society as well as personal growth.
Welcome everyone to The Calling’s radio show to all the dreamers. I’m your radio host, Chrysandra Brunson, founder and CEO of The Calling. It is such an honor to be with all of you today. You know, at The Calling, we are a nonprofit headquartered in Denver, Colorado with an international reach that understands people are abandoning their dreams because they are afraid to fail. And that’s just plain wrong because God has given each one of us a dream. And if we’re not living it out, then we are wasting it and we do not want to die with regret. The calling understands fear. We’ve been afraid too, but we have been able to push through and so can you. And we know that you can do this through being able to trust Jesus with all your heart. And we have custom programs and design programs to be able to help you go after your God-given dream. And we do this through radio programs, especially global conferences, workshops, seminars. And we love inspiring, empowering, and equipping people to go after God’s dream on their heart. And especially through this radio program to all the dreamers and having exceptional guests like we do today, the one and only president of Focus on the Family, Jim Daly. Jim. Welcome.
JIM DALY :
Chrysandra, it’s great to be with you. I’ve never been introduced as the one and only. That’s pretty funny.
CHRYSANDRA :
You are.
JIM DALY :
There’s no one like you.
CHRYSANDRA :
You are so special and just such a dear friend. And we’re just so excited to have you today.
JIM DALY :
Well, that’s so nice of you. Thank you. Everybody is the one and only, I suppose, in God’s economy, right?
CHRYSANDRA :
That is right. But you are unique. You are especially unique.
JIM DALY :
I appreciate that. Well, it’s good to be with you. I’m excited to talk with you. What do you want to talk about today?
CHRYSANDRA :
Well, Jim, we’re just so excited to get to know you and how you’ve been able to live out your calling and being able to persevere through all life’s ups and downs. And just to get to know your heart a little bit. So Jim, you are the president of Focus on the Family, which is such an incredible leadership role to impact humanity for such a time as this. That is one role, but you also serve many other ones. What does that look like?
JIM DALY :
Well, I’m not sure other than father and husband, but those are two of my most important roles. It’s funny. You know, I’m kind of reminded of a story with my son, Trent. He was probably in ninth grade. I think I’d been president for four or five years and he jumped into the car. I actually I picked him up at carpool. you know I’m just that regular dad and so I I think gene was busy that day so I had left the office like at 3 to pick him up in carpool and I remember he jumped in the car and he said are you are you the president of focus I said why who wants to know he goes oh all my friends they were telling me that you’re the president I told him now you just worked there are you the president I said yeah but that really it’s just a title so it’s just kind of funny it’s probably one of my best dad moments but it was funny i just never talked about it with my with my kids and i just didn’t think it was that important oh well you’re just so humble It’s just funny because it is. It’s just a title. But you’ve got so many great people here working every day, you know, 700 people at the ministry that are doing the best they can do at the job that God’s called them to. So hopefully I could just do that.
CHRYSANDRA :
Well, that is so special, Jim. And you have been able to walk in that role with God’s great humility and authenticity and just doing that every single day to be able to impact the world. And I think everyone tuning in has heard of you, has been impacted by the ministry of Focus on the Family. So thank you for just leading for such a time as this.
JIM DALY :
No, I appreciate it. You know, it’s Dr. Dobson built a great foundation for someone. I just didn’t know it was going to be me to step into that role. I had already been here and did the international division work and marketing like you having an MBA. I got my MBA while I was working here. And so it was just, you know, priming the pump. You talk about how God can use you. One of the ways is to be prepared and do the things you need to do ahead of time so that if you get the tap on the shoulder, you could say, yeah, I’m ready. And it’s pretty nice when you do that groundwork so that when the Lord opens a door, you can step into it with some confidence, not ego, but just confidence that you think, okay, Lord, you’re calling me to the next thing. Let’s go.
CHRYSANDRA :
Right. Yeah. You’re just able to step forward.
JIM DALY :
Yeah.
CHRYSANDRA :
That’s really powerful. Well, Jim, we have to tell people maybe a funny story of how one of the first times that we met each other. Do you remember that?
JIM DALY :
No. Remind me.
CHRYSANDRA :
Let’s see. Well, I think, Jim, we had cross paths a few different times, but it was Red Rocks Amphitheater. Oh, my goodness. And I don’t know if you… That was Casting Crowns, right? I think so.
JIM DALY :
I think it was Casting Crowns was playing.
CHRYSANDRA :
Yes.
JIM DALY :
I went back with Mark, the lead singer, and he showed me the tunnels at Red Rock and all that. It was fun.
CHRYSANDRA :
Yes. Well, and Jim, you were with us when we went back there with Charlie Monfort and Shannon. Oh, yeah. He was the CEO of the Denver Zoo. And I’ll have to send you that picture, but it was pretty fun to be able to, the same thing, showing the tunnel and everything.
JIM DALY :
I do remember that. That was a great night. Yeah. I think that place was packed, like 8,000 people. It was amazing.
CHRYSANDRA :
Yes, it was so fun. It was so fun. And I just love your spirit, that you’re always ready for an adventure in what the Lord has.
JIM DALY :
That’s pretty true, actually. Yeah. I love that. I love that song by Stephen Curtis Chapman. What is it? The Saddle Up Your Horses.
CHRYSANDRA :
Let’s go. Let’s go. Let’s go. Well, Jim, can you tell us when looking back on the beginnings of your life, when you were growing up, how can you see the Lord dropping in your heart, these passions and desires of one of becoming now the president of focus on the family? Can you look back and see how he was developing those gifts and talents in you?
JIM DALY :
Yeah, you know, and usually I think when you’re that young person, you’re not really seeing it or sensing it, especially if you’re coming through difficulty. You’re not sitting there thinking, oh, the Lord’s got me in this valley so that when I’m 28 or 30, this is going to happen. I just don’t think you have the presence of mind as a 9, 10, 11 year old to get it. But I do think the attributes, the skill sets, what the Lord is giving you at that point is resilience, the ability to overcome certain obstacles, which, you know, again, you think about our culture today and how we tend to pamper children rather and help them through everything so they don’t get a scuffed up knee or whatever it might be emotionally. They don’t go through trauma. But, man, I’ll tell you, the Lord is right there in the valley. That’s where we learn so much about who we are and whose we are because of those valleys, in my opinion. But, yeah, I think looking back, I didn’t know I was learning pretty strong resilience abilities, the idea that you’ve got to get up and go through the day and make sure you make the most of it because you don’t know what tomorrow is going to be. And I think as an orphan kid, just so people listening understand that context.
ADVERTISER :
Yes.
JIM DALY :
know i just my mom uh divorced my dad when i was five i’m the youngest of five kids i ended up with a really harsh stepfather at age eight my mom dies at nine and a half our stepdad walks out the day of her funeral i go into foster care i’m in there for a year i then move in with my brother who’s i think 19 married to a 16 year old girlfriend and that year and so I mean I’m at that point I’m you know probably 12 I lived with my dad my bio dad for a year but that didn’t work out well either he died four months after I stopped living with him so it was just all this turmoil going on but I love that scripture you know in Psalm 34 18 where it says he’s close to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit a person once said to me it’s almost a prerequisite that the Lord’s looking for, because I think in that, that is where you find humility, where you learn that you’re the same as everybody else, that this life is tough and that you need to trust the Lord in every way, basically. So those were kind of the attributes I learned. I never planned to be the president focus, even when I was here working away and a vice president. I thought, ah, I wonder who the poor guy is coming behind Dr. Dobson. And a funny story, Gene and I, seriously, this is true. We would kneel before our bed. This is the only time we’ve ever done this. normally gene and i pray as our heads are on the pillow and we say a good night prayer and kind of remind the lord of the things that we were hoping for but for a year she she and i would kneel down on the side of our bed and pray for the poor guy coming behind dr dobson and for the lord to bless focus with strong leadership because we knew it was going to be a really hard task right And so when I came home and I remember telling Jean, when I came through the garage door and said, hey, you won’t believe this, but they’ve asked me to do this. And she said, who would have thunk it? You’re the poor sap. and the poor sap is not a bad thing but it’s hard coming behind an icon like james dobson i mean who wants to do that nothing but headwind you know because you can’t be that guy and so but the lord’s awesome and the lord is good and uh you know i i would say the one thing i observed is the lord’s got a great sense of humor yes yes that’s true
CHRYSANDRA :
Well, he knew that that was on your heart and that he wanted to, that you had such, again, humility to be able to ask God that he would be strengthened and you knew how hard of a task and role it would be. So to identify that and for you guys to not even think that you would be the one to carry it is so funny.
JIM DALY :
The poor sap.
CHRYSANDRA :
Yeah, the poor sap there. Yeah.
JIM DALY :
It is pretty funny.
CHRYSANDRA :
Well, so Jim, tell us, because that is such a huge point of just growing in that humility to become a leader. So what do you identify when you come through these different challenges? Do you think that that’s kept you grounded in the midst of…
JIM DALY :
yeah in the midst of there’s lots of little things to try to do and i you know i so appreciate that i you know again let’s talk about my humility it even feels a little uncomfortable right so i mean it hopefully it’s who you are because it’s who god is i mean you think about that i remember interviewing bono from youtube yes and uh you know he was the the guy reads the scripture he told me he reads the word three to four hours a day and he loved the living translation uh or the message by eugene peterson i remember a funny story that he was at uh soldier field with bono bono had flown him in on his private plane and i was able to go to the concert and listen and bono gives a shout out from the stage And after the concert, Eugene and his wife are waiting because Bono is going to now fly them back to Montana and then go down. I think it was to Dallas for his next concert the next night. And I remember I was just standing by them and I said, Eugene, what’d you think of the concert? I mean, that was incredible. You had a shout out from Bono from the stage and he goes, it was pretty loud. I mean, he’s like 80-year-old guy and he’s going, that was loud. It was so funny. What a great humility. He could care less that he got a shout out from the stage. But, you know, I just think in so many different ways, you know, when you’re about the Lord’s business, you’re doing the right thing. And in that context, Bono had talked about God choosing to allow Jesus to be born in a manger. amongst straw and you know feces he didn’t use that word he used a more irish word to describe it but it really caught your attention when you think about that he said you know couldn’t the father have created a room in the end by you know somebody else not being there that night yeah he could have been born in comfort in a warm comfortable inn with enough material around hot water and But no, he chooses to put them in a manger with straw and animal feces.
CHRYSANDRA :
Wow.
JIM DALY :
And, you know, you think about that.
CHRYSANDRA :
We’re going to pause right there. We’re going to pick up on this story because you were, I mean, we’re all caught up in that moment of where Jesus was really born and that humility where God chose that. And that’s where he oftentimes puts us in different seasons of life. But we’re going to take a short break. We thank everybody for tuning in. Today, to all the Dreamers Radio with President of Focus on the Family, Jim Daly. We’ll be right back. We’ll be right back. Hi guys, this is Chrysandra Brunson, host of To All The Dreamers. I am so happy to introduce personal training, nutritional guidance, and behavioral change coaching. Healthy, happy, and heavenly for your wellness, spirit, soul, and body. Contact Mimi Kroger at healthyhappyandheavenly.com.
JIM DALY :
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CHRYSANDRA :
We are back. You are listening to all the dreamers radio show. I’m your host, Chris Sondra Brunson, founder of the calling. And we are talking with again, the one and only Jim Daly, a focus on the family president and Jim, you were just sharing so eloquently about humility and just bringing us into the story of Jesus’s birth. Will you take us back there?
JIM DALY :
Yeah, again, just interviewing Bono. And we were in New York. I think we did that at the, boy, American Bible Association office building. And he’s looking out the window. He’s going to leave us at noon and go cut their next album for you two. So it’s pretty heady. It was great to interview him. We don’t agree on everything spiritually and theologically. But he reads the Word a lot. And he was just talking about the humility of God and the fact that god allowed his son to be born in a manger full of dirt and animal feces and you know that the father could have easily created a room in the end for him by somebody else having a little difficulty getting there that day right and yet god in his character it’s not about taking the easy way and you know when i think of marriage and i think of parenting you know so much of what god is illustrating for us in these institutions that he created is our ability to become the invitation to become more like him. It’s not being necessarily a king, a leader, a strong person. In marriage, it’s selflessness, learning to be selfless as part of his character. I believe that’s what marriage is all about. It’s the hardest stinking thing to do because we’re selfish creatures. And I know, and I’ve talked to most of the experts on marriage, and I go home some days and my wife will say, I love you, but I don’t like you right now. How could you not like me? It’s like this weird thing that even with all of the right tools and the right knowledge, we don’t always lean on those things and we let our flesh take over. So to the whole point, learning God’s character does not come easily because it’s the opposite of our fleshly nature. We want strength and power and direction and leadership and all that. And the Lord’s saying, yeah, you want to be a leader? Be a servant. You want to be like me? Be selfless. Be loving. Be kind. Things that are not natural for us in this world of sin.
CHRYSANDRA :
Right. That propel us to be on stage to then he’ll groom you for the perfect opportunity.
JIM DALY :
Right. I think the biggest compliment Dr. Dobson gave me when he was leaving in 2010, he goes, this role hasn’t even changed you. You’re like the same person. And I thought, I think that’s a good thing. I mean, so what? So what? I remember one of the early things I did, I tried to recognize some things that I could do to keep my feet on the ground. And honestly, it’s tough. And it’s one of the great disservices we do to any leader, but certainly Christian leadership, including your pastor and everybody else. We tend to elevate them and say, oh, that was a great sermon or this was great or that was great or man, you look great or whatever. Yeah. And I remember nobody really went into the garage for Dr. and Shirley Dobson. That was one of their areas. And only the family kind of had the garage door openers for the private garage here at Focus. I remember pulling in the first day going, you know Hortensia who cleans the executive wing in the winter with six inches of snow it might be good for her to have a garage door opener and be able to park next to me in the warm cozy garage so I gave her a garage door opener and then gave my assistant a garage door opener and and it you know and I just say that because you got to do little things it’s not my special garage It’s part of focus. And some people are sacrificing to be in here early. And so there’s just those little things. But I think in leadership, you can allow yourself to try to, you kind of get above things. And I fight that constantly. Like the idea of saying, well, do it because I’m the president and I want it done. And then I go, that’s not very good. That’s not the right way to go. So you got to reel that back in and say, could I say that a little nicer? those kinds of things are critically important.
CHRYSANDRA :
Oh, I love it. Well, we know Jim by your life and your character that you’re living out your calling right now in humanity for such a time as this. And right now focus on the family couldn’t be needed more than ever. And just as a leading ministry and nonprofit and organization throughout the globe, what have you seen, um, What has been one of your favorite moments being a part of the leadership that focus on the family to impact hearts and lives in this stirring of times that we’re living in?
JIM DALY :
Yeah, but there’s so many things that pop into my head, but probably the criticality of marriage, the importance of marriage. I think, you know, it’s just not a hormonal thing. This isn’t just I’m attracted to you. I want to be married to you for us as Christians. It is the bonding of two people, male and female, coming together as one, made in the image of God. I had a Catholic priest say to me, you know, we believe in the Catholic Church about marriage. Of course, I said, no, tell me, please. And he said, you know, the split in heaven between Lucifer and the Heavenly Father was over this idea that God chose to put his image into human beings, the creation, rather than into the angels. And Lucifer was very upset about that. Yeah. was really the core issue that split the angels in heaven. And he said, every day a marriage walks this earth, it’s a stench in the nostrils of Satan. That kind of reestablishes what the criticality of marriage is all about. It’s not about us and our emotions and our feelings. It’s about the theology of being one in Christ and the two of us, male and female, husband and wife, being the example of his character on this earth, his nature. That changes the way you argue with your wife.
CHRYSANDRA :
Right, right. Well, that’s the building block for all the world, and it couldn’t be more intact. And to have that vision going forward, I think that there needs to be more kindling of that vision every single day for people to realize how important it really is. Yeah. Yeah.
JIM DALY :
Yeah, I just said definitely because that, and that’s one of the core things we’re working on, like with Hope Restored, which is a marriage intensive program. We’re saving about 80% of the marriages that are in trouble. Many of them have signed divorce papers and we do a post two year survey And 80% of those troubled marriages are together and doing better. So I’m trying to aim for getting as many as 40, 50,000 couples over the next five to 10 years through that program to put a dent, a measurable reduction in Christian divorce rates. That’s important.
CHRYSANDRA :
Yes. And Jim, so for those all tuning in that might be going through this or know someone that almost all of us are, what would you say are three tips to be able to start making that shift or one tip?
JIM DALY :
Well, one of the things that couples, they tend to notice it too late is the help they need with counseling. And you need to get really good, solid Christian counseling. And so, you know, Jean and I have struggled with that. I’m the one that typically say, hey, let’s get some help. And this is in the years, you know, leading into our work here at Focus. But she was always hesitant because she felt it would be a sign of failure. And so you’ve got to get over that. that emotional speed bump to say no get help and you know we bring so much into the marriage these triggers background baggage everything and we’ve got to do the best job that we can do to heal in those areas so that we can love each other and trust one another in our relationship and be completely vulnerable with each other if we can get there with the marriages the christian marriages we would set such a great example for the world that it’d be hopefully like the first second century church where man i want what they’ve got those christians because they’ve got something amazing right right well i love jim that you you know with all of humanity’s
CHRYSANDRA :
all the little human earthquakes per se to narrow it down to marriage and to say that that really will help out with our economy it really will come out with economic you know the development of leadership and it is the cornerstone the foundation that god wants for all of us and to realize what god’s purposes are for us to work together as one
JIM DALY :
Absolutely. That stabilization in marriage is critical because it helps the entire culture. And we would be far healthier in every community, white, black, brown, every community, if there was more of an effort to preserve and to help marriages that are hurting. And that’s job one. Then, of course, the parenting effort. And I think the most critical thing for people to know about Focus, we are just a huge resource center for people that need help. And after 45 years, you know, people aren’t going to shock us. We’ve heard, I think we’ve heard it all. And, you know, whatever that might be, just be courageous enough to call the 1-800-A-FAMILY number and we’ll put you in touch with the right resource or the right counselor. And that’s what we do every day for about 2,000 callers and people who will contact the ministry today.
CHRYSANDRA :
Wow. Every single day. Jim, what was your biggest tip of wisdom for people to go after their calling? If they feel stuck right now, they know what God’s calling them to, but they just don’t know how to live it out or go for it. What would you tell them?
JIM DALY :
You know, I can only say experientially what I did. Of course, I worked. I, you know, did the MBA as working in business. I thought that was my calling. Let’s make some money. I was the orphan kid. I thought, I don’t want to live like that. You know, to be honest, I want to make sure we had food. We had enough money to raise a family, all that, all those insecurity things. but the irony was what i felt when i said yes i made a very courageous move at 28 gene and i were married i turned down a hundred and fifty thousand dollar salary in uh 1989 to take 32 000 at focus but i remember gene was awesome she said you may because i asked her what do you want to do you want to eat or you want to not eat and she said i trust you whatever god lays on your heart i’ll i’m in
ADVERTISER :
Wow.
JIM DALY :
And so we took the job at Focus for a lot less money. And the only thing I would say is that everything I saw was not preparation for something bigger. I just tried to do the best job I could do in the role that I was given. And I think that’s really important for young people in their 20s particularly just Be prepared, do everything you need to do to be the best in that role that’s given to you in that moment. And I do believe the Lord will lift you up and show you the next thing and show those in authority over you, your capability. Just have a great attitude, a can do attitude, a get it done attitude. And that was the simple formula that I applied. Don’t think so much about tomorrow, just do the best job you can do today.
CHRYSANDRA :
I love it. Well, thank you so much for that powerhouse advice and wisdom, Jim. We are just so grateful to have you and we would love to have you back. We are coming up towards the end of our show, but know everybody wants to get in touch with you, Jim. And how can they do that and focus on the family? What?
JIM DALY :
What would you say? Yeah, the two ways to do it, by phone, 1-800-A-FAMILY. We’ve had that number for 45 years, 1-800-A-FAMILY. Or you can go to the website at FocusOnTheFamily.com. And either way will get you there.
CHRYSANDRA :
Thank you so much, Jim. Well, we thank everybody for tuning in today to All the Dreamers radio show. I’m your host, Chrysandra Brunson. And today we had the president of Focus on the Family, Jim Daly. We welcome everyone to go to The Calling’s website, thecallingnonprofit.org to stay in touch with Jim and all of our other guests to be inspired and empowered to live out God’s calling on your life. Till next time, dreamer. Keep dreaming big.
